Uncanny West Coast Avengers
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: Chapter 40: The West Coast Avengers welcome their new arrivals. Part of the Uncanny Marvel Universe.
1. New Beginnings

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 1: New Beginnings**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, the Avengers belong to Marvel while Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Avenger's Mansion- **

Hawkeye was waiting in the meeting room. Captain America had called him there. Apparently there was some urgent news that needed seeing to. Hawkeye just hoped that it was something involving the Wrecking Crew; he had been itching for a rematch ever since the incident with the new Captain Britain.

'Sorry to keep you waiting, Clint.' Cap said as he sat down opposite the archer. 'I just needed to see to a few things.'

'No worries, Cap.' Hawkeye shrugged. 'It's cool that you chose to call me in here, just as long as it isn't about Jen's underwear. I still ain't got no idea how they got under my pillow!'

Cap just chuckled to himself.

'I called you here for something completely different.' Cap said. 'Tony and I were talking and we want you to reform the West Coast Avengers.'

Hawkeye blinked a few times as he thought Cap's words over.

'Riiiight… You been sniffing your shield polish again?'

'No really, we want you to reform the West Coast Avengers. Tony and I have already assembled a team, all they need now is a worthy leader.'

'Nobody's ever called me worthy before.' Hawkeye said. 'You got yourself a deal! Now, who we got on this team? Not a loada second-stringers, right?'

Cap cleared his throat nervously and pushed a button that revealed the rest of Hawkeye's team.

'Gee, nice to know a gal's wanted.' Greer Grant, aka Tigra sniffed.

'Don't pay him any attention, Tigra.' Pietro Maximoff, aka Quicksilver replied. 'He's as ignorant as the first day we met.'

'Pleasure to meet you too, Pie.' Hawkeye muttered.

'Have these guys always been like this?' Vance Astrovik, aka Justice asked.

'I don't know why you're asking me, sweetie.' Angelica Jones, aka Firestar replied. 'It's not like I was there.'

'I think Quicksilver was being over-protective of his sister, the Scarlet Witch.' Melissa Gold, aka Songbird added.

'Man, you really did your homework, huh?' Vance snickered.

'Meh, you gotta learn your stuff if you're going to be an Avenger.' Melissa replied.

'So, when we gonna see this new HQ of ours?' Tigra asked, fidgeting a little. 'I'm itching for a good fight against Hydra, A.I.M. or some kinda loser team like them.'

'Didn't you used to be a cop?' Hawkeye asked.

'I quit.' Tigra replied with a shrug. 'Being an Avenger's waaay more fun anyway.'

'Well, it looks like to did a top-notch job, Cap.' Hawkeye said. 'I guess it's off to our new HQ.'

'Just one moment, Clint.' Cap replied. 'You still need to recruit two more members.'

'Aww nuts, I knew there was a catch.' Hawkeye groaned. 'Okay, how do have to get?'

'A young Canadian mutant called Mayhem and Namorita.' Cap replied.

'I hope Subby knows that we're recruiting his cousin.' Hawkeye replied. 'He ain't gonna be pleased. Then again, since when is he ever pleased about anything?'

'Less talking, more recruiting.' Tigra replied as she ushered Hawkeye out of the room. 'Avengers assemble and all that.'

* * *

**Later- **

The Avengers were now in the Quinjet flying across to their new headquarters. Their destination had already been programmed into the Quinjet's computer. Much to Hawkeye's surprise, the new headquarters for the West Coast Avengers was in Malibu, California! As far as he was concerned that only meant one thing, scantily clad chicks!

'I don't know why I'm even in this jet.' Pietro groused. 'I could run to Malibu and back a hundred time in the time it would take us to get there in this thing.'

'Hey chill out, Pie!' Tigra said as she leant over her seat and patted the grey-haired mutant on the shoulder. 'Cap gave us our orders.'

'I'm glad that somebody's exuberance hasn't dissipated.' Pietro sniffed.

'Yup, the same old Tigra.' The weretiger replied. 'Only without the non-stop flirting. Which makes me different to the old me…'

Pietro ignored Tigra's babbling and continued to stare out the window, wishing he was anywhere but here.

Melissa meanwhile, was getting to know her new teammates, well Vance and Angelica.

'I hope you don't think that I'm prying but, weren't you guys undercover with the Triune Understanding?'

'Man, is everything covered in our Avengers files?' Vance thought out loud.

Angelica just ignored her fiancé's comments.

'Well, the Triunes pretty much fell apart after Tremont disappeared during the Kang thing so we weren't really needed there.'

'Good job too.' Vance added. 'Those guys gave me the creeps, they were all cult-y and… urgh!'

'Oh yeah, real eloquent Vance.' Angelica snickered. 'Honestly Melissa, there's really no need to buff up on our back stories, I'm sure that Vance'll be perfectly happy to tell you what's what, seeing that he used to be such a fanboy when we first joined the Avengers.'

'Excuse me, sweetie!' Vance said with a hurt expression. 'Who had an integral part in defeating Ultron that time? Who found the stockpile of Antarctic Vibranium?'

'It was you dear.' Angelica sighed. 'Here's a tip, don't ever mention the Ultron thing when he's around, he never stops going on about it.'

'I'll keep that in mind.' Melissa replied.

**

* * *

Malibu, California- **

The Quinjet had landedand the team stood outside their new headquarters. To the casual observer, the building looked just like any normal Malibu beach house, but slightly bigger. It was situated on a cliff overlooking the sea. There was a space to park the Quinjet too.

'This is our new HQ?' Tigra asked, pretty disappointed. 'It's just a damn beach house!'

'Oh ye of little faith.' Hawkeye replied as he walked up to the door and placed his hand on the palm reader. The doors swished open in front of him and he walked inside. 'C'mon the guys, you coming in or what?'

Tigra and the others followed him through and gazed at the décor. It was quite impressive, the walls were blinding white and had pictures dotted around. Some of them were even of the old West Coast Avengers.

'Man, I can't believe I used to wear that tiny bikini.' Tigra said as she saw a picture of herself making bunny ears behind the Thing's head.

'You still wear that tiny bikini.' Vance replied. 'You're wearing it right now.'

'Must you embarrass me so?' Tigra sniffed as she followed Hawkeye to a nearby elevator and walked inside.

The elevator was made of the same blinding white material as the walls of the outside corridor.

'Perhaps I should've brought my sunglasses.' Angelica said as she squinted a bit.

Hawkeye then pressed a button and the elevator door closed and the started to move downwards.

'This place isn't just a beach house, y'know.' Hawkeye said as he looked at his team-mate's expressions.

'Don't tell em we got our own Danger Room down here.' Tigra said.

'Cap prefers to call it the Play Room.' Hawkeye replied. 'And we've got a meeting room down here, as well as a heated swimming pool, a gym and an armoury. Not forgetting the extra parking spaces.'

'Whoa, Stark really knows how to outfit a place.' Vance said as he whistled in appreciation.

Hawkeye then went on to give them a quick tour.

* * *

**Later- **

After the tour, the team retired back to the lounge. The room had quite a view, the room was overlooking the edge of the cliff and through the huge set of patio doors they could see the row of steps that lead down to the private beach at the bottom. One of the main features of the room was a colossal plasma screen suspended from the ceiling. Surrounding the TV were several large black leather sofas.

'Forget the East Coast Avengers.' Tigra said as she flopped down onto one of the sofas. 'The mansion's nothing compared to this place.'

'Tell me about it.' Melissa replied. 'Even when we didn't even have it this good when the Thunderbolts were staying in Four Freedom's Plaza.'

'The New Warriors HQ was pretty cool.' Vance added. 'We had a microwave and everything.'

'Nice to see you've set your priorities right, sweetie.' Angelica snickered.

'Where's Pie, anyway?' Tigra asked. 'Isn't he gonna toast our new digs?'

'He's' brooding in his quarters.' Hawkeye replied. 'Pie's never been one for social gatherings.'

'Oh well, his loss.' Tigra shrugged as she held her beer bottle aloft. 'Here's to the New West Coast Avengers!'

The others raised their glasses in reply.

'**_Avengers Assemble!'_** They all cheered.

**TBC…**

**

* * *

_Next: Recruitment Drive _**

_The New West Coast Avengers travel to Toronto to recruit their last two members. Unfortunately, they bump into the Hulk. Talk about a baptism of fire, huh?_


	2. Recruitment Drive

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 2: Recruitment Drive**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, the Avengers, Alpha Flight, Namorita and the Hulk all belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

_**Shout Outs- **_

_**Agent-G- **This is set before the Disassembled thing. I'm going to use Ant-Man (Lang) as the token brainy guy. I changed my mind about Deathcry; I know absolutely nothing about her so I'm going to use Namorita instead. Vince won't be the only mutant on the team (excluding Pietro) Justice and Firestar are mutants too. _

**

* * *

West Coast Avengers HQ; Malibu, California- **

The members of the newly reformed West Coast Avengers were sitting around the table in the briefing room. They were waiting for the low-down on their first mission. They knew that they were supposed to recruit the former New Warrior Namorita and a Canadian mutant know as Mayhem, but that was just about all they knew.

Vance and Angelica were pretty excited about meeting their former teammate again after such a long absence.

'Man, I can't wait to see what 'Nita's been up to.' Vance said as he stirred some cream into his morning coffee.

'Yeah, me too sweetie.' Angelica replied. 'Maybe we'll have enough time to have a little shopping trip.'

'If there's anything I know about you, 'Nita and shopping, it's anything but small.' Vance snickered. 'Just don't press-gang me into carrying all your bags this time, okay?'

'But you're the guy with the telekinesis.' Angelica replied. 'You're a valuable asset.'

Vance just shook his head and wondered if it was too late to annul their marriage.

Tigra meanwhile, was talking shop with Melissa.

'Okay then, Little-Miss Avengers-Fan, what was my superhero name before I became Tigra?'

'The Cat.' Melissa replied casually. 'You had a big thing about feminism, what happened? Now you just run about in a tiny bikini chasing guys.'

'A little something called a gunshot wound.' Tigra said. 'A fatal one at that. I woulda been a goner if the Cat-People…'

'Please spare us the history lesson, Greer.' Pietro sighed. 'We've heard your origin often enough.'

'Aww, getting' tetchy, Pie?' Tigra cooed as she ruffled the speedster's hair. 'Don't worry sweetie, Clint's gonna be here soon with the info on our mission.'

'I could have sought out the information and recruited our last members before he even reached for the files.' Pietro sniffed.

'Atta boy.' Tigra said as she patted his shoulder. 'Think positive.'

Then, right on cue, Clint walked in with a file in his hands.

'Right, here's the stuff that we got on the new guy. Real name's Vincent Freeman, Canadian by birth. Omega class mutant, super-strength, super-speed, invulnerability and energy projection.'

'Mayhem? More like Gary-Stu.' Tigra snickered.

'What's a Gary-Stu?' Angelica asked.

'A fan fiction term for a guy with perfect looks and superpowers. The female equivalent is a Mary-Sue.' Vance explained.

The others fixed Vance with amused expressions.

'Or so I've heard…' Vance quickly added, his eyes darting about nervously.

Clint continued with the briefing.

'Our guy's only just recently joined up with Alpha Flight. Before that, pretty much nothing. It's kinda like he didn't exist. He's joining us as part of an exchange programme. One member of Alpha Flight joins a US superteam and one of ours joins them '

'So, you gonna show us a picture of this guy or are we gonna go out on a wing and grab any Canuck with superpowers?' Tigra asked.

'Meet Mayhem everybody.' Clint said as he activated the giant computer screen behind them. A picture of a muscular guy with jet-black hair and light blue eyes.

'_Helloo salty goodness!' _Tigra said as she cocked her head.

'You really have no shame at all, do you?' Pietro sighed.

'Have we got any info on Namorita's whereabouts?' Vance asked.

'As a matter of fact, we have.' Clint replied. 'She's staying over at Department H as a guest of Alpha Flight.'

With that, Clint switched off the computer monitor and turned back to the team.

'Well, what you guys sitting there for? Avengers Assemble already!'

**

* * *

The Quinjet, several miles above Canada- **

The team were sat in the Quinjet flying across the Canadian skies. They had almost reached Toronto when the guidance alarms went off.

'Geez, what is that?' Tigra asked as she ran up to the front of the jet, where Hawkeye was piloting.

'It looks like the welcoming party.' The archer replied as they saw several armour-clad figures buzz the jet.

'You are in Canadian airspace, please state your business.' The voice of James Hudson, the armour-clad field commander of Alpha Flight known as Guardian said over the radio.

'This is Hawkeye of the West Coast Avengers; we've come here for Namorita and Mayhem.

'You'll have to forgive Guardian.' The voice of Heather Hudson, aka Vindicator, replied. 'He's a stickler for rules. Come with us, we'll show you down.'

Hawkeye followed the two armour-clad Flighters to their HQ, a colossal building in the middle of the city.

'Man, perhaps I should quit this team and join these guys.' Tigra said as she looked over the Department H building. 'The place's frickin' huge!'

**

* * *

Department H, the home of Alpha Flight- **

Upon disembarking from the Quinjet, the West Coast Avengers were met by several members of Alpha Flight. Guardian and Vindicator were there, as were Puck, a dwarf with exceptional acrobatic skills, Shaman, a Native American mystic and Snowbird, a Canadian demigod with the ability to change into any creature native to Canada.

'Welcome everybody.' Guardian said. 'Mayhem and Namorita are waiting in the briefing room, if you'll just follow us.'

'Nice place you guys got here.' Hawkeye said as he followed them. 'It musta cost a bundle to build.'

'Kinda makes our Malibu beach house look kinda crummy, huh?' Tigra added.

'At least we get the better weather.' Firestar replied.

Guardian and co stopped outside a door and the Avengers followed suit.

'Just go right in.' Vindicator said. 'Make yourselves at home.'

'And I doubt that means burping loudly and scratching your butt.' Justice said as he shot a cheeky grin in Tigra's direction.

'Geez, a gal lets herself go for just one moment and she never lives it down.' The weretiger sniffed.

Hawkeye led the others into the briefing room. As soon as the team stepped into the room, Firestar let out an excited squeal and grabbed the blonde Atlantean in a huge hug.

'Omigod 'Nita, it's been ages!'

'Geez, break a gal's ribs, why don'cha?' Namorita winced.

'Sorry.' Firestar said, an embarrassed smile spreading across her face.

'Well, well, well, look who's all growed up and married.' Namorita said, as she looked Justice up and down. 'It'll tell you what Angelica, you sure caught yourself a stud right there.'

'Yeah, he's a cutie.' Firestar replied as she smiled happily. 'And telekinesis sure has advantages in the bedroom.'

Namorita raised her hand to her mouth and gasped dramatically.

'Angelica Jones, that is just filthy!'

Angelica just laughed out loud at her husband's obvious discomfort at the subject of their conversation.

While the former New Warriors were catching up, Hawkeye and the others were getting to know Mayhem.

'I must say that it's an honour to join you guys.' Mayhem said. 'Being a member of Alpha Flight is pretty cool but the Avengers, wow!'

'We're only the West Coast Avengers.' Tigra replied.

'Even though, I'm still stoked that you chose me to join your team.' Mayhem continued. 'Man, it's taking everything that I've got to stop me hyper-ventilating.'

'Glad to see somebody with a positive reaction.' Hawkeye said, casting a glare at Quicksilver. The speedster either didn't notice or didn't care.

Songbird's attention meanwhile, was caught by a flashing light on one of the consoles that was then followed by the blaring of alarms.

'Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.' The former Thunderbolt winced.

'All active personnel report for duty, the Hulk has been sighted nearby. Repeat, the Hulk has been sighted nearby!'

'Next time I think I'll keep my mouth shut.' She sighed.

'We can't just stand here, let's assemble!' Tigra said as she bounced excitedly on her feet. 'Let's go fight the Hulk, in the name of Christmas and… puppies! Let's go fight that green ogre!'

'Surely this is Alpha Flight jurisdiction.' Justice said. 'We don't wanna be stepping on anybody's toes.'

'Never knew you to step down form a fight, Vance.' Namorita replied. 'Don't tell me married life's making you soft.'

'Just thought I'd be the one to talk sense.' Justice shrugged.

'Alrighty then.' Hawkeye said. **_'Avengers Assemble!'_**

* * *

**Downtown Toronto- **

As you would expect, the Hulk wasn't a happy bunny. What he was, was a colossal green bunny with a fuse as short as hard-drinking Canadians with adamantium skeletons. Wouldn't you be pissed off if you were being shot at by tanks any puny soldier men? Wouldn't you want to smash? Thought so…

Anyway, the Hulk was wreaking a swath of destruction through Toronto and Alpha Flight was soon on the scene. Unfortunately, the Hulk has already subdued Snowbird, who was no match for him, even in her polar bear form. The other members of Alpha Flight were going at it full-pelt, trying to minimize the damage to the city. As you can imagine, they weren't doing too well, trying to stop the Hulk from smashing stuff is kinda like trying to contain a tornado in a plastic cup.

Guardian and Vindicator both tried to blast the Hulk with concussion blasts form their battle suits but he just shrugged them off like mosquito bites.

'**_Hulk smash puny flying people!'_** The Hulk roared as he swatted at them with one huge hand. Unfortunately, he clipped Vindicator, sending her crashing into a nearby tower block.

'Heather, no!' Guardian yelled as he flew after his wife. That just left Puck, Sasquatch, Shaman and the others to deal with the Hulk. Sasquatch was the most aptly suited to go against the Hulk so he charged at him with a war cry. 

'Smash this, ugly!' He roared as he belted the Hulk across the head.

'Hairy man annoy Hulk. **_Hulk smash!'_**

And so on it went, Alpha Flight throwing all that they had against the Hulk, and the Hulk swatted them away like flies. That was when the Avengers came in.

'Okay everybody, look alive; we have to protect civilians, Tigra, Quicksilver, Namorita, that's our job. Everybody else, take the Hulk down!'

'On it boss man.' Justice said as he gave Hawkeye a jaunty salute.

'C'mon Dr Banner, it doesn't have to be this way. People are getting hurt.' Justice said as he tried to reason with the Hulk.

'Bah, Banner is puny. Hulk smash puny Banner!'

'Kinda fond of saying that, huh?' Mayhem asked as he flew past.

'Why flying people attack Hulk? Hulk smash puny flying people!'

'This is my home ugly, quit smashing it!' Mayhem said as he dodged another swipe. 'Don't make me hurt you!'

'Puny flying man cannot hurt Hulk! Hulk is the strongest!'

'Let's just see about that, huh?' Mayhem replied as he blasted the Hulk with an energy burst form his hands.

The Hulk bellowed in pain.

'Flying man hurt Hulk. Hulk angry!'

'Really, we didn't notice.' Firestar replied as she blasted the Hulk with a burst of microwave radiation.

The Hulk bellowed in rage once more.

'Umm, I don't think this is working.' Songbird said as she blasted the Hulk with a fist made form sonic energy. 'All we're doing is making him angry, and that just makes him stronger.'

'Justice, how much can you levitate with your TK?' Mayhem asked.

'I don't know.' Justice replied. 'I've never really tried to test my limits.'

'Do you think you could levitate the Hulk?' Mayhem asked again. 'I think it might give us a chance if we keep him off-balance.'

'I'll give it a go.' Justice replied.

The Hulk stopped smashing for a moment as he was enveloped with a telekinetic force field.

'What flying people do to Hulk now?'

'Didn't anybody ever tell you that… Nnhnn… Referring to yourself in the… third person is pretentious?' Justice hissed as he tried to lift the Hulk in with his telekinesis.

'Flying man put Hulk down now, or Hulk will smash!'

'No chance…' Justice winced as he slowly began to lift the Hulk off the ground.

Firestar saw what the pressure was doing to her husband and rushed to his side.

'C'mon Vance, you can do it. Don't give up now. Please, we need you!'

'No sweat honey…' Justice replied through clenched teeth. 'Just one more push…'

Justice gave the Hulk one more colossal push and the green monster was catapulted into the air. With the pressure gone, Justice collapses into his wife's arms.

'Yes, you did it!' Firestar cheered. 'We beat the Hulk!'

'He's not beat yet, Firestar.' Mayhem said. 'He'll just come back even more pissed than before. This is where I come in.'

The two newlyweds watched as the Canadian mutant followed the Hulk into the air. He then began to glow deep crimson as he readied up another energy blast. Once he was sure that the blast as strong enough, Mayhem let rip and blasted the Hulk in midair, sending him roughly in the direction of France.

'Au revoir, ugly.' Mayhem said as he gave the Hulk's receding form a salute.

With the Hulk defeated and civilians evacuated, the West Coast Avengers and Alpha Flight gathered around.

'I guess you guys owe us one.' Hawkeye said as he brushed some brick dust off his uniform. 'We saved your butts.'

'Owe you nothing.' Puck replied with a snort. 'Our guy did all the work, ain't that right Vince?'

'I can't take all the credit.' Mayhem replied with a modest shrug. 'I wouldn't have done it without Justice.'

'How are you feeling, Justice?' Sasquatch asked. 'Do you want me to run you through the med bay?'

'Nah, I'm fine.' Justice replied as he waved the furry beast away. 'I'm just a little tired, nothing that a lot of rest can't cure.'

'Well, I say this has been a pretty successful mission, huh?' Tigra said as she put her arms around Mayhem and Songbird's shoulders. 'What do you say we have a celebratory piss-up?'

'Best offer I had all day.' Hawkeye replied. 'What about you guys?'

The other members of the West Coast Avengers and Alpha Flight gave out a resounding cheer.

**TBC… **

* * *

_**Next: Reunions **_

_More members pop up at West Coast HQ, all of them old faces. Okay, not all of them are old faces but you get my point, right? Guest starring- War Machine, Ant-Man and Crystal. Ooh, Pietro's gonna get a shock._


	3. Reunions

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 3: Reunions**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, the Avengers all belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

_**

* * *

Shout Outs- **_

_**The Dude- **What kind of headquarters would you expect it to be in Malibu? I juts had to have it as a beach house. It's not a normal beach house however; it's got all that junk underground too, remember? If you want to read up on Mayhem (his powers and what-have-you) read Agent-G's AGU fics, they're in the X-Men: Evolution section. The France bit was just for a laugh._

_**Agent-G **I know that Firestar's a mutant because she used to be a Hellion, I'm not so sure whether Justice is a mutant or not though. You're right, the WCA do need their own Shell-Head besides, War Machine was a member of the West Coast team before anyway. _

**

* * *

West Coast Avengers HQ; Malibu, California- **

It was morning in WCA HQ and Tigra was showing Vincent around his new home. Although the Canadian had already been there for a day or two, he hadn't really had a chance to explore yet.

'And concluding out tour, we come to my favourite part of the complex, the food stores.'

'It looks kinda empty.' Vince said as he peered into the room where the team's sustenance would be kept, and it was indeed rather sparse.

'Why do you think we've been eating takeout since we've arrived?' The weretiger replied. 'We still can't decide who does the shopping.'

'Why not Pietro?' Vince suggested. 'He could get it done much quicker than any of us could.'

'What about you, bub?' Tigra replied. 'Super-speed's part of your M.O., isn't it?'

'Well yeah…' Vince said as he tried to search for an answer. 'But… Oh look, are they ants?'

Tigra looked in the direction that Vince was indicating and saw a long line of ands marching down the corridor.

'Geez, this place is a tip.' She sniffed. 'Just gimmie a sec and I'll get the bug spray.'

'No, don't do that.' An electronic voice said. 'They're helping me move in.'

Tigra and Vince looked about them as they tried to pinpoint the voice.

'Is that you, God?' Tigra asked. 'If this is about not going to church, I can explain…'

'Look down.' Vince said as he pointed to a miniscule figure waving at them. 'I think it's Ant-Man.'

'Oh hey there little guy!' Tigra said as she saw the red and black-clad figure complete with shiny helmet. 'Aww, aren't you the cutest little Avenger? Yes you are…'

Vince stepped back as Scott Lang, aka Ant-Man, returned to his usual size.

'Sorry I couldn't join you guys in your adventure with the Hulk, I had family business to attend to.'

'Let me guess…' Tigra said. 'You're the token brainy guy, right?'

'I wouldn't really put it that way but, yeah. I'm the token brainy guy.' Scott replied.

'Nice to meet you Mr Lang, I'm Vincent Freeman.' Vince said as he held out his hand.

'Oh right, the guy that beat the Hulk, good on ya buddy.' Scott said as he shook the Canadian's hand. 'You'd be the token powerhouse, right?'

'I guess so, yeah.' Vince replied. 'Do you know if there's anybody else due to turn up?'

'I think Clint's got the security expert working on the computers.' Scott said. 'I don't think the medic's arrived yet, she had to drop off her daughter or something.'

'Okay, we won't keep you any longer.' Vince nodded. 'That's unless you need some help.'

'Nah, I'm cool.' Scott replied. 'I've got my army of buddies to help. Seeya later guys, okay?'

'Yeah, see you Mr Lang.' Vince said as he held his hand up in farewell.

'Oh and kid, call me Scott…' Ant-Man said as he shrunk down to ant-size.

'Geez kiddo, you always this polite?' Tigra asked.

'I'm Canadian.' Vince replied. 'It's required of us.'

**

* * *

The briefing room- **

Tigra led Vince into the briefing room where they saw Clint Barton talking with an African-American guy with a neatly trimmed goatee.

'Oh hey Vince, I want you to meet Jim Rhodes, he's gonna be our security expert.' Clint said as he saw the pair walk in.

'Nice to meet you Mr Rhodes.' Vince said as he shook the guy's hand.

'No need to be so formal, kid.' He replied. 'All my buddies call me Jim, you might as well call me it too.'

'What'cha doin' anyway?' Tigra asked as she craned her neck to see what they were up to.

'Jimbo's just installing the security systems into our computers.' Clint replied. 'We can't have any old wannabe psycho hacking into our files and finding all about us, can we?'

'I guess now.' Vince said. 'Well, if nobody needs me, then I'm gonna meditate in my room, it's really peaceful over here. I never got to do much meditating back in Toronto, what with the Hulk going on a rampage every other week.'

Clint and the others bade farewell to the Canadian as he went off to his room to relax.

**

* * *

Later- **

While the other members of the team were hanging out above ground, Pietro was strolling through the lower levels. It's not that he didn't like his teammates, some of them were quite good fun to be with, it's just that he wanted a little time to think things over for a bit. He had been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly about family. Pietro missed his wife very much, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen his daughter.

Pietro was about to give his brooding a rest and go upstairs to join the others when he heard the clinking of glass being placed upon metal coming from the med bay. Hawkeye did say that they were expecting a medic sometime soon so there wasn't any need to be alarmed. He might as well go along and say hello, at least try to be civil. So that's what he did, he strolled along to the med bay to say hello.

'Hello, is anybody there?' He asked after knocking on the door.

The doors of the med bay swished open and Pietro gasped in shock as he saw who was standing before him. It was Crystal, his estranged wife.

'Hello Pietro, pleased to see me?'

Pietro finally snapped out of his stupefied silence and looked suspiciously at his wife.

'Is this some kind of sick joke? I bet this is Barton's idea of humour. I'll tell you this now, it isn't funny!'

'Pietro please, calm down.' Crystal said calmly. 'If you have to blame anyone, blame Captain America. He was the one that asked me to join.'

'That man may have honourable intentions but they are rather ill-timed.' Pietro replied, calming down a little. A small smile soon spread across his lips. 'It is rather good to see you again. Is Luna here with you?'

'Luna's still in Attilan.' Crystal replied. 'I wanted to get settled first before uprooting her from her home.'

'Wise choice.' Pietro nodded.

'This is certainly a nice place you have here.' Crystal said as she indicated the surrounding corridors. 'The Royal Palace of Attilan is nothing compared to this.'

'Oh I'm sure you're exaggerating.' Pietro replied. 'This is just a mere beach house.'

'But a beach house with a secret underground lair.' Crystal added.

Unseen by the two, Clint and Tigra were hiding around the corner.

'Looks like Cap's plan's working.' Clint whispered.

'It was close for a while.' Tigra replied. 'I thought Pie was gonna blow his stack.'

'I think it's time to get the betting pool going now, don't you?' Clint said. 'Y'know, see how long it'll take them to get back together.'

'I'll go tell the others.' Tigra nodded as she went to notify the rest of the tram.

**

* * *

Later that night- **

Pietro was standing on the edge of the cliff, taking in the view below him. His mood had brightened somewhat since joining the team, due in no little part to the return of his estranged wife. It would be a long, difficult road ahead to fix the damage that had been done to their marriage but Pietro had faith that things would work out in the end. If not, at least he could se his daughter again.

'Penny for them.' Crystal said as she walked up beside him.

'I was just admiring the view.' Pietro replied. 'I never really took any time to appreciate it since we arrived. It's such a pity that I didn't take notice earlier.'

'It certainly is a beautiful view.' Crystal replied. 'Here, I brought you some hot chocolate if you want it. I also took the liberty of adding a pinch of cinnamon to it as well, just how you like it.'

'Thank you.' Pietro nodded as he took the mug form her and wrapped his hand around it. 'Crystal, may I ask you something?'

'Sure, go ahead.' Crystal replied as she took a sip form her mug.

'Do you think we could ever work again? As a couple I mean.'

'I was thinking the same thing myself earlier.' Crystal replied. 'And to tell you the truth, I was kind of hoping that you'd ask that. Luna misses you dearly.'

'And I miss her too.' Pietro replied honestly. 'But what about you, did you miss me?'

'Every day when I looked into our daughter's eyes.' Crystal replied with a sad little smile.

A thin smile appeared on Pietro's face, matching Crystal's.

'It won't be easy, you know.' He said. 'Starting back together again.'

'Since when has anything been easy?' Crystal replied. 'We're Avengers, nothing is ever easy.'

Pietro chuckled slightly.

'Nothing is ever easy.' He added.

'You do know that this was all a set-up, right?' Crystal asked.

'The idea had occurred to me.' Pietro replied. 'Remind me to have word with Captain America tomorrow.'

'Pietro…' Crystal warned.

'I mean to thank him.' Pietro quickly added. 'I wouldn't dream of saying a stern word towards him.'

'Glad to see we're making progress.' Crystal nodded as she moved just a little bit closer to her husband. Pietro looked back at his wife and slowly put his arm around her shoulders. Crystal then laid her head on his shoulders and smiled happily, everything was back to normal for the Maximoffs.

**TBC… **

* * *

**_Next: Back From the Dead _**

_The West Coast Avengers recruit their last two members; both of them recently back form the dead. One, a former villain, the other, a former mercenary, Madelyne Pryor and Copycat!_


	4. Back From the Dead

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 4: Back From the Dead**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_Everything but Mayhem belongs to Marvel, Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Ruby631- **_Last chapter, Luna was back in Attilan under the care of Medusa and the other Inhumans while Crystal settled in. _

**Bishopx- **_Thanks for clearing that up with Vance. _

**Comic Nut- **_Oh yeah, you can bet that the team will be facing a few big bads soon. Look out for appearances from the Brood, Carnage, the Red Skull, the Hellfire Club, Sabretooth and Mojo. Are those big bads big enough for you?_

**The Dude- **_Copycat is a former associate of Deadpool. Sabretooth tore her to shreds in an issue of Deadpool: Agent of Weapon-X._

**Agent-G- **_You can bet that Scott won't be best pleased when he finds out that Maddie's back. _

* * *

**Avengers Complex; Malibu, California-**

Several members of the West Coast Avengers were hanging out watching the TV. Hawkeye, Ant-Man, Songbird, Namorita and Jim Rhodes were out attending to official business while Tigra, Mayhem, Firestar, Justice, Quicksilver and Crystal watched the news. The present news story was announcing the Shocker's latest defeat by a miscellaneous superhero. This time it was by a guy called Kid Razor, originally from Cleveland. _(1)_

'Man, get a load of that guy.' Tigra said as she saw Kid Razor blast the Shocker against a police cruiser. 'The Eighties are over for crap's sake!'

'All this coming form the woman that runs around in a tiny black bikini.' Pietro replied. 'You should look at yourself in the mirror sometime, Greer.'

'And your costume's so much better.' Tigra retorted.

'I think it make Daddy looks cute.' Luna said as she snuggled closer to her father.

'I'm inclined to agree with my daughter.' Crystal added. 'I like your two-toned costume Pie, it fits in all the right places…'

Pietro smiled lovingly back at his estranged wife and leant in for a kiss. Luna creased up her nose in disgust at her parents smooching.

'Eww, that's stinky…'

'Aww, I think it's cute.' Angelica replied. 'It's great that you guys are back together again.'

'I could never imagine what would happen if I was separated form you, sweetie.' Vance replied as he laid his head on Angelica's shoulder.

'Brown-noser.' Angelica teased.

Out of the occupants of the room, it only seemed that Tigra and Vince were the only ones that weren't getting snugly.

Vince didn't seem to notice the were-tiger's adoring looks. Tigra sighed reluctantly and went back to watching the TV.

Unfortunately, the peace and quiet was soon broken as the complex's intruder alarms were set off.

'Aww man, I was just getting comfy.' Vince sighed. 'I guess we'd better go see what's up.'

'I'm already there…' Pietro said as he got up and zipped off.

'Mommy, why's Daddy running away?' Luna asked.

'Daddy thinks that there are some nasty people got in here without asking.' Crystal replied. 'You'll be all right here with Cassie, won't you?'

'Luna'll be fine with me, Crystal.' Cassie Lang replied as she took Luna's hand. 'My Dad built a shelter for us just in case some random bad guys invaded the complex.'

'Will there be TV, and candy, and ice-cream?' Luna asked as she looked up at Cassie.

'Why don't we go see, yeah?' Cassie asked as she led Luna outside to the shelter.

'Let's go kicks some bad guy booty!' Vance said as he punched his hands together.

* * *

**Several floors down-**

The team ran out of the elevator and stopped dead in their tracks as they saw an unconscious Pietro lying on the floor.

'Agon's Genes, no!' Crystal gasped as she knelt down beside her husband. 'Pietro, speak to me…'

'Nnhn, did anybody get the number of that truck?' Pietro groaned as he rubbed his head.

Crystal helped Pietro up.

'Did you get a look at the intruder, Pie?' Tigra asked.

'My memory's blurred.' Pietro replied as he rubbed his eyes. 'I think the intruder was female… leather-clad and… she had red hair.'

'Hunh, that sounds kinda familiar.' Angelica said. 'Nah, it can't be her, she's dead…'

'I got better!'

The team spun around and saw a leather-clad redheaded woman approach.

Crystal instantly prepared a bolt of elemental energy.

'I remember you, you're Madelyne Pryor! You're the one that turned Manhattan into a demonic playground!'

'Whoa, I don't mean to hurt you.' Maddie replied as she raised her hand in defence. 'I'm here on a mission, I'm here to join the team…'

Crystal and the other Avengers just looked at Maddie, not believing what they heard.

'Why should we believe you?' Vince asked. 'The last I heard you were a member of the Hellfire Club.'

'I'm your token reformed villain, sweetie.' Maddie replied. 'Oh, by the way, I'm not the only one that's been brought back form the dead in mysterious circumstances. You can come out now, 'Ness.'

The Avengers watched as a blue-skinned, white-haired and red-eyed woman appeared.

'Guys, this is Vanessa Carlysle, aka Copycat.'

'Hey guys.' Vanessa nodded, somewhat shyly.

'Waitasec, weren't you Deadpool's girlfriend?' Vance asked. 'What happened to you?'

'Sabretooth gutted me.' Vanessa replied simply. 'And I was brought back to take revenge for my death.'

'And why are you here?' Tigra asked Maddie.

'The usual.' Maddie shrugged. 'Redemption for past sins, etcetera…'

'I don't suppose you guys are going to tell us the identity of your mysterious benefactor, are you?' Vince asked.

'I would if I even knew who it was.' Maddie replied. 'All we got was a disembodied voice telling us that we had business to attend to back on Earth.'

'So you were told to come join us.' Tigra snorted. 'Awfully convenient, huh?'

'Trust me, if we wanted to hurt you, we would have done it as soon as you walked around that corner.' Maddie replied seriously. 'Now, you gonna show us to our rooms or what?'

'This isn't some halfway house that you can just drop in to and expect to be given membership status.' Tigra replied. 'You're gonna stay in the cells until Hawkeye gets here, then he can decide what we're gonna do with you. Sorry Vanessa but we're gonna have to keep you in the cells too, you may be out of the merc business now but we have to be sure first.'

'That's cool.' Vanessa shrugged. 'Maddie and I aren't all that well-known for being trustworthy.'

'I say we hand Maddie over to the X-men.' Angelica said. 'I bet that Cylcops'll be real pleased to see his ex-wife back from the dead.'

'How is old Scottie nowadays, anyway?' Maddie asked.

'Still got a stick stuck up his ass.' Tigra replied.

'No change there then.' Maddie sniffed as she followed the Avengers to the cells.

* * *

**Next: Demons, Demons Everywhere**

_After a spate of grisly murders occur nearby, Tigra, Vince, Crystal, Pietro and Ant-Man investigate. Could the murders be down to a young girl with reality-warping powers and an abusive father?_

* * *

**Notes-**

**(1)- **_Kid Razor fought the Shocker in the first chapter of 'The Uncanny Kid Razor' by L1071E._


	5. Demons, Demons Everywhere

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 5: Demons, Demons Everywhere**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_I don't own any familiar characters, the West Coast Avengers belong to Marvel and Mayhem belongs to Agent-G. I only own Jessie Dillon._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Ruby631- **_I h__ave an idea for a future chapter with Luna so look out for that soon. _

**Ellen- **_Yup, Pie and Crystal are made for each other. _

**Agent-G- **_I doubt that there will be enough of the girl's father for Vince, if you catch my drift. _

* * *

**Malibu, California-**

It was nearing midnight in the coastal Californian town of Malibu. While most people were asleep in their homes or having fun in the town's nightclubs, one young woman wasn't having such a good night. She was Jessie Dillon and was on the run from a gang of thugs that wanted to have a little fun with her.

Jessie dived into a nearby alley, hoping to put some space between her and the thugs but they kept on chasing her. Jessie was so preoccupied with keeping tags on the thugs that she didn't see an up-ended garbage can and promptly tripped over it, crashing to the ground.

'Please, don't hurt me!' Jessie begged as the thugs approached her with evil smile displayed across their faces. 'Please…'

Jessie curled into a ball and shut her eyes tight as the thugs continued to approach. The thugs' evil laughter was promptly cut of by a terrible ripping sound, kind of like somebody ripping through a fresh side of beef. Then there was the sound of a gang of grown men screaming like babies as something tore them limb form limb and scattered their bits across the alley.

Once the screaming had stopped, Jessie cautiously peered from her corner of the alley. The sight that greeted was here was horrific, the thugs, or what remained of them, were strewn across the alley and there were arcs of blood splattered across the walls.

'Oh God, it happened again.' Jessie sobbed. 'No, please no…'

* * *

**The next morning-**

Unaware of the gruesome goings on of the previous night, several of the West Coast Avengers were sitting around the kitchen table. Tigra was munching on some sugary cereal whilst reading the morning paper.

'Tssh, it seems like Kid Razor's been mouthing off again.' **(1) **The feline Avenger muttered through her mouthful. 'Tigra shags like a minx? I aught to go down to Cleveland and…'

'Give him a jolly good seeing to?' Vance snickered.

'Vance, you're such a cheese-ball.' Angelica groaned.

'But you love me for it, babe.' Vance replied with a cheeky grin.

'Guys, you'd better come see this.' Vince said as he rushed into the kitchen from the living room. 'There's been a murder down town. The police think its metahumans in origin.'

'I guess we'd better go investigate.' Tigra said. 'I'm still a cop and we might need some of my contacts to find out who did this.'

'I wonder if this has got anything to do with those murders in Paris and Mutant Town?' **(2)** Angelica asked.

'The news report didn't say anything about that.' Vince replied. 'The police said in those two murders, they found _Justice is served _scrawled in blood nearby the bodies, but not with this latest one.'

'_Justice is served,_ why does that sound so familiar?' Tigra thought out loud.

'Scourge!' Vance said as he snapped his fingers in realisation. 'Remember that guy that was bumping off villains left, right and centre a few years back? He used to scrawl that too.'

'But he ended up dead.' Angelica replied. 'It looks like we've got a copy-cat on out hands.'

'That'll have to wait for now, guys.' Tigra said, taking the role of leader. 'We have to go find out who shredded those thugs first.'

* * *

**Somewhere in Texas, meanwhile- **

In a swanky hotel somewhere in Texas, the assassin only known as Arcade was having a lie in. He had originally been assigned to kidnap and trap a wealthy businessman in one of his many Murderworlds around the country. That hit had gone off without too much trouble so Arcade decided to reward himself with some downtime. Unfortunately for Arcade, his downtime would come with a price, his life!

Unseen by the sleeping assassin, a window cleaner made his way up to his window. This was no ordinary window cleaner however as the object that he took out of his bucket wasn't a sponge, but a heavy-duty rifle. The 'window cleaner' knocked on the window to get Arcade's attention.

Arcade rolled over with a groan and opened his eyes to see somebody with a heavy-duty rifle aimed right between his eyes.

'Oh shi…'

_Blam!_

The 'window cleaner' shot Arcade straight between the eyes, splattering his brains over the opposite wall.

After taping a note to the window, the 'window cleaner' lowered himself back to the ground.

'Justice is served.'

Yes, Scourge had struck again!

**

* * *

Malibu-**

Tigra, Vince, Vance and Angelica were now joined by Pietro and Maddie. They had just met with one of Tigra's contacts and were on their way to the house where they thought that the perpetrator lived.

It turned out that several eyewitnesses had seen a young woman being chased by the same gang of thugs that ended up being shredded. It was more than likely that this young woman was the one that shredded those thugs.

Something else that our heroes found out was the fact that the young woman, a one Jessie Dillon, may actually be a mutant. Her powers, if she had any at all, were unknown but it was up to Tigra and the others to find this woman before people started hunting for any and all mutants in the town, even if it meant her fellow Avengers.

Tigra stepped upto the door of Jessie's house and knocked on the door. Much to her amazement, the door swung open.

'Aww geez, that smell!' Vince choked as he put his hand to his mouth. 'It stinks of death in there!'

'That may be the case but we still have to investigate.' Tigra replied. 'I hope you guys have got strong stomachs…'

Vince and the others followed Tigra inside, being prepared for trouble if it came. If this woman was indeed a mutant then they might be in for a bumpy ride.

'Hello, is anybody there?' Tigra asked. 'Jessie, are you in here?'

The only sounds that answered Tigra were the sounds of flies buzzing and something that sounded like a woman sobbing.

'We've got her!' Tigra whispered. 'Careful guys, we don't know what this girl can do. Pie, Crystal, Maddie, you go try and find out what's making this smell, everybody else with me.'

Pietro, Maddie and Crystal nodded in reply and started to search the house for the source of the horrible smell.

Tigra followed the sound of sobbing into the living room where she found a blonde-haired teenaged girl curled up in the corner.

'Are you Jessie?' Tigra gently asked as she knelt down beside the girl.

Jessie looked up at the feline Avenger fearfully.

'G-go away, don't come near me!'

'It's okay, we won't hurt you.' Tigra replied, keeping calm. 'We're here to help you.'

Vince then noticed something on the girl's arms.

'Scars.' He whispered. 'She's got scars on her arms. Tigra, can I take over for a sec?'

Tigra nodded and let Vince take over.

'Hi Jessie, I'm Vince.' The Canadian said as he held out his hand.

Jessie whimpered in fear and backed away.

'Just as I thought, somebody's been abusing her, most probably her father. The bastard! If I get my hands on him…'

'I think it's a little too late for that, Vincent.' Pietro said a she zipped into the room, closely followed by Crystal and Maddie. 'We found her father, or what was left of him.'

'He was shredded just like those thugs in the alley.' Maddie added. 'By the looks of the marks on the body, I'd say that whatever did this was demon I origin.'

'Oh God, you mean that this poor girl can conjure demons?' Angelica gasped, horrified at the notion.

'If my time in the Hellfire Club has taught me anything, I know a demon's handiwork.' Maddie nodded.

'They're here.' Jessie sobbed. 'The monsters are back!'

The Avengers spun around to see something black rise from the floor, as if it was made out of shadows. This creature wasn't alone however, as more of the shadow demons crept into the room.

'Maddie you're the demon expert, you try to reason with her.' Tigra said.

Maddie nodded and knelt down next to Jessie.

'Umm hi Jessie, I'm Maddie…'

The shadow demons hissed in anger at the sight of the human being near their guardian and bared their fangs and claws.

'Maddie, please hurry! We won't be able to take this many!' Vince said.

Maddie took a deep breath and continued talking to Jessie.

'Jessie, can you control these things?'

'It hurts…' Jessie whimpered as she held her head.

'Please, these things will kill my friends if you don't stop them.'

'I-I can't…' Jessie moaned.

'Please, you have to do this!' Maddie replied, more forcefully this time.

The demons hissed once more at the woman shouting at their guardian.

Jessie squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated with everything she could. The demons bellowed in rage as they began to fade away.

'That's it, you're doing it Jessie!' Maddie said. 'Just concentrate a bit more and they'll soon be gone.'

Jessie's face screwed up in pain as she tried to expel the demons. The strain was so much that blood began to trickle from her nose. Jessie then gave a grunt of pain and collapsed onto the floor.

'That's it, they've gone!' Maddie grinned. 'Jessie, you've done it!'

Crystal motioned to the unconscious girl.

'Maddie, is she…?'

Maddie quickly grabbed Jessie's arm to check for a pulse.

'We have to get her to a hospital, quick!'

'They won't take her in a regular hospital.' Tigra replied. 'The med bay back at the Complex will have to suffice.'

'I'll take her.' Pietro said. 'I can get there before her condition weakens.'

Tigra nodded as she handed the unconscious teenager over to the speedster.

* * *

**Several days later-**

Jessie had made a near full recovery and was sitting up in be din the med bay of the Avengers Complex. Maddie was in there chatting happily to her.

'Honestly, I can't sense those things anywhere.' Jessie said. 'They've gone for good.'

'That's a good job then.' Maddie chuckled. 'We couldn't have those things running about the Complex shredding everybody willy-nilly, can we?'

'I guess not…' Jessie sighed. 'Are you it's okay that I stay here?'

'Hawkeye's talked to the police and as long as you don't get into any more trouble, you're under our protection. Besides, you weren't yourself when you killed those thugs…'

'But my dad…' Jessie replied. 'Whenever he hit me, all I wanted was for him to go away and those… things made him go away.'

'We'll keep on running checks to make sure that they won't come back, okay?' Maddie said. 'Trust me, you're safe here. Now, get some sleep, okay?'

Jessie nodded and snuggled back into her hospital bed.

'Maddie…'

'Yes?'

'Thanks, for everything…'

A wide, happy grin spread across Maddie's face as she made her way to talk to the rest of the team.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Astonishing!**

_You know it was only a short time until Cyclops and the rest of the X-men found out that Maddie was back. Will they be happy that she's back from the dead? Will they Heck! _

* * *

**Notes-**

**(1)- **_See The Uncanny Kid Razor by L1071E for details._

**(2)- **_See Uncanny Wolverine and The Uncanny Madrox for details._


	6. Astonishing: Part 1

**The Uncanny Young Avengers**

**Chapter 6: Astonishing- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G and Jessie Dillon belongs to me._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**The Dude- **_Yeah, Jessie's dad sure got what was coming to him._

**TheLegendaryManHimself- **_Yup, Jessie is a mutant and she has the power to conjure demons. More Tigra/Vince and Pie/Crystal coming up soon._

**Ruby631- **_If it's Luna you want, check out _'The Uncanny Young Avengers.'

**Agent-G- **_Yup, Scourge was a big part of the comics in the 80s. Jessie wasn't possessed by demons; she's a mutant that can conjure demons. _

* * *

**Author's Note- **_For those of you that liked this; you may want to check out my other Avengers stuff, _'The Uncanny Young Avengers' _and '_The Uncanny Avengers.' _The adventures of Luna, Cassie and Jessie and the Cap, Wanda and the rest of the East Coast Avengers respectively._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

The West Coast Avengers were sitting around the TV watching the news broadcast on their latest triumph against the Super-Skrull.

'It's just like I told you.' Vance said. 'There was no need for the whole team to take this guy on, any one of us coulda taken him down.'

'Well if it's alright with you, I'd rather have somebody to back me up when I fight some alien guy with all the powers of the Fantastic Four.' Tigra replied.

'And by that I bet you mean Vince.' Namorita teased.

'Maybe…' Tigra replied coyly. 'It's always nice to have a nice, strong man to have as back up. Especially when he's as cute as Vince is.'

'Aww, look at him!' Angelica chuckled. 'Vince is blushing.'

Tigra looked at the Canadian mutant and he was indeed blushing. Although he and Tigra had started to date, they had hardly got past the timid kissing stage.

'Can we please talk about something else?' Vince groaned. 'This is too damn embarrassing.'

'Okay then…' Tigra replied. 'Scott, how far have you and Melissa got?'

Ant-Man looked at Songbird for confirmation.

'Well, I don't think it's really my place to say…' He said.

'Aww c'mon, we wanna hear the gossip.' Namorita said. 'C'mon, spill…'

'Nope, I've been sworn to secrecy.' Scott said.

'I'll just have to go ask Cassie then.' Angelica said. 'I'm sure she'd tell us what we want to know for a few bucks…'

Scott groaned into his hands.

'Oh God, nothing can possibly go worse, can it?'

'Oh I don't know…' Melissa replied as she put an arm around Scott's shoulders. 'The X-Men could be watching the news, you now the history that they have with Maddie…'

'Oh, thanks for the faith.' Maddie snorted. 'I feel so great about being back.'

'Aww, c'mon Maddie.' Copycat said as she patted her friend on the back. 'I'm sure that they'll understand everything once we explain.'

'If only that was the case.' Maddie sighed. 'You don't know how stubborn Cyclops is…'

* * *

**The Xavier Institute, meanwhile-**

The West Coast Avengers weren't the only ones watching the news however; the Astonishing X-Men were watching it too. Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Hank McCoy, Emma Frost, Logan, Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin all watched in amazement as Madelyne Pryor let rip with a telekinetic blast that sent the Super-Skrull flying.

'Well it certainly looks like you're not the only telekinetic redhead that has a tendency to come back from the dead.' Emma said.

Jean just shot the blonde a frown and turned back to the TV.

'How could the Avengers possibly accept her in to the team?' She asked. 'She's evil!'

'Bygones, Jean.' Emma replied. 'Bygones.'

Jean ignored Emma and turned to Scott.

'Come on Scott, back me up here…'

Scott opened his mouth to answer but Kitty cut him off.

'Maddie used to be my friend, Jean.' Kitty said. 'I used to trust her to look after Lockheed. Sure, she's done a lot of bad stuff, who hasn't? Emma used to be White Queen but we trust her well enough, Cain used to be one of our deadliest enemies too, and what about Logan?'

'Thanks for the faith, Kit.' The feral Canadian muttered.

'You know I didn't mean any offence.' Kitty said. 'I was just making an example.'

'I agree with Katherine.' Hank added. 'Let's give Madelyne the benefit of the doubt before we go storming in and drag her kicking and screaming back here.'

'Is till don't like it.' Jean muttered.

'Why not take the X-Jet over there to find out what all this is about?' Piotr asked. 'It might put your mid to rest.'

'I suppose…' Jean sighed.

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

Unaware of the impending clash, the West Coast Avengers were hanging out by the swimming pool. Pietro and Crystal were playing with Luna while Namorita dived in from the high board.

'You gotta tell me that was at least a nine.' Namorita said.

'Hmm, eight-point-five at the most.' Vance replied.

'Aww, be nice.' Angelica replied. 'You know 'Nita can kick your butt.'

'And how, girlfriend.' Namorita snickered.

Vance just ignored the two women's teasing and popped open a can of beer.

Meanwhile, Tigra and Vince were chatting on a nearby sunlounger. Tigra was laid between Vince's legs while the Canadian had his arm around her waist.

'Not that I'm complaining or anything…' Tigra said. 'But, aren't you gonna take your shirt off? You must be hot in that.'

'I'm alright thanks.' Vince replied. 'I'm not much of a sun person.'

Tigra nodded in reply, but something wasn't right there, Vince was hiding something. She'd ask him about it later…

Inside the Complex, Maddie was watching her teammates enjoy themselves.

'Aren't you going to join them?' Copycat asked as she walked up behind the redhead.

'I'm not really sure.' Maddie replied. 'I don't think I really fit in. They don't trust me.'

'Aww, they trust you well enough.' Copycat replied. 'You proved yourself after the fight with Super-Skrull.'

'I still don't feel like I belong.' Maddie sighed.

'Well I think you belong.' Copycat said. 'The place would be less exciting without you. What about Jessie? Who would teach her to control her powers?'

'At least I've got you guys on my side.' Maddie relied, a narrow smile spreading across her lips.

'That's the spirit.' Copycat smiled. 'You look so pretty when you smile.'

Maddie turned around at the comment.

'Excuse me?'

Copycat mentally kicked herself.

'I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what I said. I-I'll go now…'

'No, don't go just yet.' Maddie said as she took Copycat's hand. 'Stay with me Vanessa, I think I know where this is going…'

Vanessa winced as she anticipated the impending backlash.

'To tell you the truth, I'm not as freaked as you think. I used to be part of the Hellfire Club remember? I don't get freaked over anything.'

A smile slowly spread across Vanessa's face.

'So you mean that…?'

'Yeah, I think you're cute too.' Maddie nodded. 'Perhaps you'd like to go out for coffee or something some time?'

'Yeah, I'd like that.' Vanessa nodded.

Maddie matched her friend's smile and gently squeezed her hand but suddenly turned serous.

'Maddie what is it?' Vanessa asked concernedly.

'No, not now.' Maddie whispered. 'Not after this…'

Vanessa looked over the horizon to see what Maddie was looking at.

'Is that the X-Jet?' The mutant shapeshifter asked.

Maddie just nodded solemnly.

'It's the X-Men, they've come to get me…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Astonishing- Part 2**

_The West Coast Avengers Vs The Astonishing X-Men. 'Nuff said!_


	7. Astonishing: Part 2

**The Uncanny New Avengers**

**Chapter 7: Astonishing- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Ellen- **_Maddie may not kick Jean's backside but she will give her a good telling off. _

**Unknown legacy- **_I never really thought about the Thunderbolts in this story. No plans for them to appear I'm afraid._

**Ruby631- **_Heh, redheads fighting are always cool. Especially when they're enormously powerful telepathic redheads. _

**Nessie6- **_More Pie coming right up._

**TheLegendaryManHimself- **_I'll get to Vince's history soon. _

**Agent-G- **_Hawkeye and Scott doing the old sabre rattling thing? Oh yeah, you can bet on that. _

* * *

**Author's Note- **_If you liked this; please check out _'The Uncanny Kid Razor'_ by L1701E and _'Uncanny Freedom Force'_ by unknown legacy._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

Hawkeye and the rest of the West Coast Avengers stood up as they saw the approaching X-Jet.

'Aww for crap's sake!' The team's leader groaned. 'What are they doing here?'

'I bet you any money it's got to do with Maddie.' Tigra replied.

'Well we'd better get inside and get suited up.' Hawkeye said. 'Nobody takes one of our friends without a fight.'

The rest of the team nodded in reply as they followed him inside the building.

On the way to get suited up, they passed Maddie and Copycat standing in the kitchen.

'Don't worry, Maddie.' Hawkeye said. 'The X-Men ain't gonna take you without a fight.'

'See, I told you they trusted you.' Copycat said, patting the redhead on the shoulder. 'Now c'mon, we have to go kick some X-Men booty.'

'That sounds like an idea.' Maddie nodded. 'I'd like to give Miss Grey a few choice words of my own…'

Copycat smiled at that and followed the rest of the team to the lower regions, where their_ 'work_ _clothes' _were kept.

* * *

**Outside- **

With the X-Jet sitting on the front lawn, the Astonishing X-Men waited for the West Coast Avengers to appear. Most of the team were waiting for them to exit the complex, everybody except Jean Grey that was, she was pacing impatiently.

'They're stalling for time.' Jean said. 'She's taken control of their minds. Turned them against us.'

'Jean, please clam down.' Cyclops said. 'There's really no need to worry like this.'

'Yes dear.' Emma Frost added. 'Stop pacing about, you're ruining their lovely lawn.'

'Oh shut up you tart!' Jean hissed. 'You don't know what it's like for me to see this woman alive!'

'Ah yes, I shall never know the joy of having an evil clone.' Emma replied, as calm as ever. 'Oh woe is me.'

'Emma, please.' Beats said, taking his partner's hand in his furry blue paw. 'You're not helping. This is a stressful time for everybody. Just think how poor Madelyne is feeling.'

'Yeah, as soon as she comes back from the dead, here we are to ruin her second chance.' Shadowcat added. 'This is a pretty selfish mission y'know.'

'I'm just here cuz I don't wanna miss the sparks.' Wolverine commented. 'It's just a pity I ain't got no beer to enjoy it with.'

'You are as charming as ever, Tovarisch.' Colossus chuckled. 'Ororo must be pleased that she won your hand.'

'Yeah, just how far have you toe got?' Shadowcat asked. 'You two rock the Kasbah yet?'

'Walkin' a thin line, Kit.' Wolverine warned his former protégée.

Shadowcat just shook her head and chuckled at the feral Canadian.

'Geez, I'm just teasing.' She chuckled. 'I would've though that you got all this form Jubilee already.'

'She knows her place.' Wolverine growled.

'For as long as I have known Jubilation, she has never been one to mince her words.' Colossus added. 'Even where you are concerned.'

Fortunately for Wolverine, more embarrassment was prevented as the West Coast Avengers walked out of the complex.

'Not that I'm angry to see you guys here but… Okay, I am angry to see you guys here.' Hawkeye said. 'Just what the Hell are you doing here? This had better not have anything to do with Maddie.'

'I'm afraid it has, Hawkeye.' Cyclops said. 'We're not entirely sure that Madelyne's plans are all that trustworthy.'

'By we, he means Jean.' Emma added.

'Emma!' Beats hissed.

'Oh lighten up, Henry.' Emma replied. 'I'm merely trying to lighten the mood.'

'By aggravating the situation?' Beast asked. 'It's not my definition of lightening the mood.'

'You tell her, Hank.' Jean replied.

'And you can stop as well, jean.' Beast said. 'I'd expect better from you.'

'Hello?' Maddie asked. 'Everybody remember me? The formerly evil woman that the X-Men don't trust? Can we get this over as soon as possible? I have things to do. I've got a date you know.'

'Another poor man who has fallen under your spell, I bet.' Jean hissed.

'You're wrong I'm afraid, Jeannie.' Maddie replied, a knowing smile spreading on her face. 'It's a woman actually. Vanessa…'

Copycat nervously stepped up beside Maddie.

'Umm, hi…' The shapeshifter said timidly.

'Y-you're dating a woman?' Cyclops asked, barely believing his ears. 'H-how? Is this because of me?'

'Oh please, Scott.' Maddie snorted. 'Like everything I do revolves around you. I do have a life of my own you know.'

'Maddie's right, y'know.' Shadowcat added. 'Just because she chooses to fate women, it doesn't mean that her ruined relationship with you had anything to do it.'

'Thank you Kitty.' Maddie nodded, smiling at her former friend. 'It's nice to know that somebody has faith in me…'

'I have faith in you, Madelyne.' Emma piped up. 'Anybody that annoys Jean as much as you is okay in my book.'

'Thank you.' Maddie smiled. 'I think…'

'Is this all we're going to do?' Mayhem asked. 'Just stand around here bitching to each other?'

'Oh, we're no way near finished…' Firestar replied. 'I'd like to have a word with the White Queen…'

'Oh, this is going to be sweet.' Jean grinned evilly.

Emma just shot Jean with a glare and turned to speak to her former student.

'Angelica, you have all the reason to hate me…'

'Damn right I do!' Firestar hissed. 'You were only interested in elevating yourself in the Hellfire Club!'

'Now that's entirely untrue.' Emma replied. 'I loved every one of you. Okay, perhaps not as much as I loved Catseye, but I still cared for you…'

'Yeah, right.' Firestar snorted. 'Like I'm going to believe that.'

'Emma really did care for you Hellions.' Beast replied. 'She still lives with the pain that was caused by their deaths. Just the same as the death of Synch and her students in Genosha does.'

Firestar's expression softened slightly at that.

'I'm not trying to influence you with my telepathy, Angelica.' Emma said honestly. 'I am truly a better person for joining the X-Men.'

'And that fling with Cyclops…?' Firestar asked.

'Oh crap.' Cyclops groaned, holding his face in his hands. 'Does everybody know about that?'

Emma just ignored him and turned back to Firestar.

'That was a moment of weakness.' She said. 'I thought that I loved Scott but I found out that this wasn't true. Henry showed me my true feelings…'

Emma stepped back and took Beast's furry paw in hers.

'I love Henry as much as I have loved anything else, perhaps more…'

Hawkeye turned his nose up at the blatant show of affection.

'Aww for crap's sake…' He groaned. 'Enough with the fluff already. Some of us have got jobs to go to. Shouldn't you be recruitin' some poor old sob story?'

'That's another thing…' Maddie said. 'I'm even training somebody in the use of their powers.'

'Ah yes, that poor girl with the demon conjuring powers.' Beast nodded. 'How is that going?'

'The same as training any mutant, I suppose.' Maddie replied. 'Some days are good, some days are bad…'

'And where is this _alleged_ mutant?' Jean asked sceptically.

'In the mall with her friends.' Quicksilver replied. 'With my daughter and Ant-Man's girl.'

'You trusted her with Luna?' Jean spat. 'Are you crazy?'

'We're not crazy, Jean.' Crystal replied calmly. 'Jessie may be a troubled young woman but we trust her enough to leave Luna in her care.'

'Jean, you need to get over this thing with Maddie.' Tigra said. 'All that Inferno business was years ago, let it go. We have.'

'Talking about Inferno…' Maddie said. 'I need to have a word with Nathan about this Messiah business…'

'Good luck with that.' Wolverine snickered. 'Cyke ain't had no chance o' talkin' with him so what chance have you got?'

'I'm his mother, Logan.' Maddie replied. 'Sometimes all anything needs is a mother's touch.'

'Well this mission was a waste of time.' Jean sighed. 'As much as I hate to admit it, Maddie seems legitimate enough. It doesn't mean that I hate you any less…'

'Thanks.' Maddie snorted. 'Right back at you.'

'I am sorry to interrupt…' Colossus said. 'But Rachel has just called me, it seems that another mutant has been sighted in Sydney. She has turned into a sentient and is threatening to destroy the whole continent…'

'Well, I guess that was our signal to leave.' Shadowcat sighed. 'Sorry about spoiling your fun, Maddie.'

Maddie just smiled and gave Shadowcat a quick hug.

'That's all right, Kitty. What's life without its little conflicts?'

Maddie reached down and scratched Lockheed behind the ears.

'See you later, Dragon. Stay out of the panty drawer.'

Lockheed looked up at the redhead with an innocent expression.

'We'll talk later, Emma.' Maddie added as she gave the blonde a wave. 'Compare notes, if you catch my drift.'

Emma just smiled knowingly and joined the rest of the X-Men in the X-Jet.

'Well, that wasn't entirely unpleasant.' Maddie said as the X-Jet rose into the air. 'Man, I need a drink…'

'Was that a proposition?' Copycat asked coyly.

'Maybe…' Maddie replied, equally coyly.

The rest of the team watched as the pair walked off to find some booze.

'Well, if that's what all of your team-ups are like, you guys must have boring lives.' Mayhem said.

'Just wait until you meet Kid-Razor.' Tigra replied. 'Damn arrogant jerk. Gonna sue his ass. Jab it with needles. Cut him into strips…'

'It sounds like Maddie isn't the only one that needs a drink.' Justice chuckled.

'Now that sounds like an idea.' Namorita replied. 'Who's up for a trip down the pub?'

'I think we all need a drink after that waste of time.' Ant-Man said. 'Now we just need to wait until we _'team-up'_ with the Fantastic Four…'

'I think you're forgetting something, sweetie.' Songbird replied. 'What about the Thunderbolts? They don't even know that I'm here.'

'Oh great.' Hawkeye groaned. 'Another team-up that's gonna be a complete and utter waste of time. I shoulda stayed in New York…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Not All Scars Are Physical**

_Fed up of Vince keeping secrets form her, Tigra finally gets the Canadian mutant to open up about his past. But how will everybody react once they find out all about Vincent Freeman? Tune in next time to find out…_


	8. Not All Scars Are Physical

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 8: Not All Scars Are Physical**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Danrilor- **_I'm not sure if all of the West Coast Avengers are youthful, wide-eyed characters; Hawkeye is a pretty good leader. Then there's Quicksilver and Crystal, they're both responsible adults._

**Ruby631- **_I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by Tigra's reaction to Vince's past. Well, I hope you will anyway._

**TheLegendaryManHimself- **_Oh yeah, Emma and Maddie will make one hell of a team. Heh. Jean and Scott had better watch themselves now._

**Morring star- **_Don't worry, the Thunderbolts won't be making an appearance here._

**Agent-G- **_I hope you approve of my use of Vince's past. I'll focus on Hawkeye and Namorita soon. Maddie and Cable too._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'In your face space coyote!'- _**Jubilee (Uncanny XSE)**

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

It was a peaceful day in the coastal Californian town of Malibu. No super-powered villains trying to take over the world or rob banks, no giant mutant-killing robots on the rampage either.

Tigra was in an unbelievingly good mood. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, life was good for the feline Avenger. The fact that she was dating a hot Canadian guy didn't hurt either.

Tigra was trotting along, whistling a happy tune as she came to Vince's room. She put her ear to the door. Vince was in the shower. Her strong hearing allowed her to hear the water running. A cheeky grin grew on Tigra's face as she carefully snuck into his room.

Tigra tiptoed across the room, not wanting Vince to find her. Not yet, anyway. Tigra positioned herself beside the open bathroom door and waited for Vince to finish.

Tigra's smile grew as she heard the water stop and Vince walked out into his room with a towel around his waist.

'Surprise!' Tigra yelled as she leapt on Vince's back.

'_Tigra!' _Vince yelped. 'What are you doing?'

'Giving you a surprise, silly.' Tigra giggled as she kissed Vince on the cheek. 'You like?'

'Don't you ever knock?' Vince asked, rather seriously.

'Geez, excuse a girl for trying to be nice.' Tigra muttered as she got off Vince's back. 'Why you so grouchy, cutie?'

'Well there was the fact that you surprised me when I came out of the shower.' Vince replied.

Tigra's sunny disposition soon faded as she noticed Vince's chest. Okay, he was buff, but that wasn't what she noticed. His chest was a veritable road map of scars. One scar that caught her attention was the most was a very large on that reached from his left shoulder all the way cross to his right hip.

Vince noticed this and turned around. He hated it when this happened. Whenever people saw his scars, it always ended in people freaking out, asking loads of questions, or the one thing that he hated the most: Pity.

That move was a bad one as, Vince ended up revealing that he had even more scars on his back.

'Oh my God Vince, I-I didn't know…' Tigra said. 'I-I'm sorry…'

'Tigra, please… don't.' Vince said. 'I-I…'

'Hate people pitying you because you have scars?' Tigra finished for him. 'It's nothing I haven't seen before. I've got a pretty spiffy scar myself.'

Tigra lifted up her left leg.

'See?' She asked as she rubbed the fur. 'See the way the fur is laid here? Then look at the fur here, it flows in a different direction.'

'How did that happen?' Vince asked.

'It happened a few years ago.' Tigra explained. 'It was back when I was with the original West Coast Avengers. I was screwing around with some of my teammates. I fell and tore my leg open on one of the ground sprinklers. I had to have it stuck back on, hence the difference between the flow of the fur.'

Vince looked at Tigra with a curios expression.

'Well, that sounded… nasty.' He winced. 'But it doesn't take away the fact that you walked in on me without knocking. We all deserve out privacy.'

'Yeah, sorry about that.' Tigra winced as she rubbed the back of her neck. 'That was wrong.'

'Well seeing that you told me about your scars, I might as well tell you about mine.' Vince sighed. 'I owe you an explanation for all this secrecy.'

Tigra sat down on a chair and began to listen intently as Vince told his story.

'I used to be known as Prodigy Six. I was kidnapped from my home and taken to a lab somewhere to be experimented on. My parents were killed right in front of my eyes. The people in the labs experimented on me day in, day out. It was terrible. They tested my powers to the limits, electrocuting me, cutting me open and putting me back together. But the other kids in the Prodigy Program weren't so fortunate, they all died one by one until a girl called April and I were the only ones left. Then SHIELD stormed the complex where we were being held. It was Hell. Soldiers dying left, right and centre. April and I managed to escape in all the fuss. Unfortunately, one of the lab soldiers managed to shoot April, killing her. My powers flared up in anger and I blew up the whole complex. Nobody survived.'

Tigra's expression stayed blank as she leant forward.

'How can you remember all this? Surely those memories would just fade away in time, right?'

'I wish they could.' Vince sighed. 'But they can never go away. Not with my photographic memory. The memories are as fresh as the day I first experienced them. I'm kept awake at night by the screams of the other kids.'

Tigra took Vince's hand in hers and looked him right in the eyes.

'Okay, you had a crappy life. That's not so unusual. We've _all_ had crappy lives. Just look at Clint. He's an orphan and his wife was killed right in front of his eyes. Pietro's father is Magneto. His marriage with Crystal has had more ups and down than any roller coaster. Vance accidentally killed his father. Maddie's husband left her and her baby son for another woman. We've all been through lots of crap and do you know what we do to help ourselves through it? We talk about it. We're family Vince, we talk about our problems. Holding in this kind of stuff doesn't do us any good. If we hold it in, it'll fester until we explode. Just look at Maddie. Remember that demonic invasion of New York a few years back? That was because she didn't talk about her problems. Okay, demons giving her freaky dreams and finding out that she was a clone may have been partly responsible but that isn't my point. Vince, if we're going to make this relationship work, we have to talk about our problems. We don't want you causing another Inferno, do we?'

'I guess not.' Vince nodded, a narrow smile appearing on his face. 'I guess it's kind of selfish of me to think that I'm the only one that's had a crappy life.'

'Don't get me started on the piece of crap that's my life.' Tigra replied. 'Fatal gunshot wound, getting a feline soul, turning into an outrageous flirt, husband murdered by a mysterious cult, trying to make up for it by endless one-night stands. I'm surprised I'm as well rounded as I am. Do you know why?'

'Because you talked about it?' Vince asked.

'Got it in one, baby.' Tigra nodded. 'You okay now?'

'Yeah, a little.' Vince replied. 'It feels good to finally talk about my problems. As much as I liked the guys in Alpha Flight, I didn't feel like I could talk to them, you know? I was starstruck, being Canadian and all.'

'I can imagine.' Tigra nodded. 'I was like that the first time I joined the Avengers. You don't get much better than working with Captain America. The guy's a living legend for God's sake!'

'Did you really hit on him?' Vince asked.

'Him and most of the male contingent of the Avengers.' Tigra replied. 'Iron Man, Wonder Man. Hell, I even hit on Thor once. The Black Widow seemed like a frickin' nun compared to me. But nowadays I'm strictly a one-man woman. That man's you Vince. I really want to make this work. I've had enough of one-night stands. I want a real relationship. That is… if you're okay with that.'

Vince merely took Tigra's hand in his and planted a gentle kiss on it.

'Yeah, I'm cool.' He smiled. 'We've both been through lots of crap. Now we've both got somebody to bitch to about it.'

'That's the spirit.' Tigra grinned as she patted Vince on the back. 'Now, you want a hand with getting dressed?'

'I can manage perfectly well, thank you.' Vince replied, the merest hint of a smile on his lips.

'Aww, pooh.' Tigra pouted. 'I wanted to ogle.'

Vince chuckled at that.

'Just go, okay? You can ogle me later.'

'You better believe it.' Tigra purred as she left the room. 'It would be a shame to have a stud-muffin like you and not ogle.'

Vince watched Tigra leave and closed the door behind her. He was really lucky to be dating such an understanding woman as she. They had both been through much in their lives and now they finally had somebody to help them through the difficult times.

'She's one crazy lady.' Vince chuckled as he began to get dressed. 'Hot, but crazy.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: My Wacky Family**

_The Avengers, Wolfsbane, Warlock, Polaris, Iceman, Havok, Madrox, Marrow and Strong Guy guest star as the West Coast Avengers celebrate Pietro's birthday. You just know that somebody will pop up to spoil the fun. That somebody is… Magneto and the Hellfire Club!_


	9. We Interrupt Your Usual Programme For So

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 9: We Interrupt Your Usual Viewing For Some Much-Needed Fluff…**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Ellen- **_Yup, the Avengers sure have had crappy lives. It must be a requirement to join. _

**Ruby631- **_Oh yeah, gotta love ogling. Hee. _

**Needles- **_Magneto joined the Hellfire Club in _'Uncanny New X-Men.'

**Agent-G- **_Whoops. I guess that I've got an excuse for missing those things with Vince. The URM-Verse is different from the AGU after all. Yes, Maddie is Cable's _real_ mother. Jean may have raised Cable but it Maddie was the one that actually did all the work giving birth to him. _

**Thanks to- **_Morring star._

* * *

**Author's notes- **_First of all I'd like to apologise for the disgustingly long wait for an update. I guess that's what I get for having so many stories on the go at the same time. Also, I've decided to postpone the Magneto/Hellfire Club idea until I feel more inclined to write an action chapter. Sorry if anybody was waiting for that but I just didn't feel in the mood for an action chapter. I will have Magneto show up eventually though._

* * *

**Malibu, California-**

It was a typically sunny day in the Californian coastal town of Malibu. The people of Malibu went about their usual daily routines without a single care in the world, as they felt safe in the fact that the West Coast Avengers had chosen to set up shop nearby.

Two such Avengers were Pietro and Crystal Maximoff, the Avengers known as Quicksilver and Crystal. The couple were heading to a nearby café where they were going to meet Pietro's twin sister and former teammate, Wanda. Also known as the Scarlet Witch.

The pair was flanked by their teenage daughter, Luna. Technically Luna should have been eight years old, but after being kidnapped by the artificially engineered twins known as Fenris and the insane Inhuman Maximus, Luna had her latent powers activated as well as her age accelerated to that of a teenager.

It took a little while for Pietro and Crystal to get used to their daughter's sudden change but in time, they grew used to the fact that their little girl wasn't so little any more.

'We don't want you to think that we're forcing you to come with us, Luna.' Crystal reassured her daughter as she led everybody across the road to the café. 'We all know that you'd rather hang out with your friends than be seen with us fuddy-duddies.'

'I wanted to come, Mom.' Luna shrugged. 'I haven't seen Auntie Wanda in ages. I've just _got_ to see her face when she sees how much I've changed. It's gonna be _priceless!_ I only wish that I'd brought a camera.'

'Let's not rush into things, okay?' Pietro asked calmly as they entered the café. 'We don't know how Wanda will react.'

Crystal and Luna followed Pietro into the café where they saw Wanda sitting in a corner booth. Wanda wasn't alone however, as there was a blonde figure sitting with her.

'Checking up on the wayward kiddies, Captain?' Pietro asked, only partly serious.

'You know I don't do that, Pietro.' Steve Rogers chuckled as he stood up and shook Pietro's hand. 'It's wonderful to see you all. You all look well. And how is… Luna?'

Steve trailed off as he saw the now teenaged Luna standing with her parents.

'My, haven't you grown?'

'You could say that.' Luna nodded.

Wanda just blinked at the sight of her now teenaged niece.

'It's a long story.' Crystal commented.

'I got kidnapped by Fenris and Maximus and got forcibly exposed to the Terrigen Mists.' Luna explained.

'Perhaps not that long.' Crystal sniffed.

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Elsewhere, not too far from the cafe where Pietro, Crystal and Luna were meeting with Steve and Wanda, two more Avengers were enjoying a quiet day out. They were Scott Lang and Melissa Gold, also known as Ant-Man and Songbird respectively. Scott's teenage daughter, Cassie, was also with them. Unlike Luna however, Cassie was somewhat more reluctant to hang out with the older heroes.

'Aww _man!_' Cassie muttered. 'This bites. I could be back in the Den hanging with the others. We had a dance competition planned as well.'

'I _knew_ we shouldn't have brought you that dance mat.' Scott groaned.

'You're just jealous because you suck.' Melissa teased with a raspberry.

'Oh, like you're a regular Lord of the Dance.' Scott snorted.

'Excuse me?' Melissa mock gasped. 'I beat you five times in a row last Friday.'

'And that says a lot for your dancing skills, Mel.' Cassie snickered.

'Et tu Cassie?' Melissa sighed. 'I'm on your side y'know.'

'Yeah, sure. You only wanted my dad alone so you could have some extra smoochie time.' Cassie commented.

'If we wanted extra smoochie time, then why would we have come to the mall?' Scott asked.

'I don't know…' Cassie shrugged. 'Perhaps you were gonna make out in the changing cubicles.'

'What you and Kristoff get up to in your own time is your business.' Scott quipped back.

'Some father _you_ are.' Melissa teased again. 'You're supposed to be all protective over Cassie.'

'Yeah, Dad…' Cassie added. 'Why don't you make with the over-protective father bit already?'

'Because you are mature enough to make your own judgements.' Scott told her honestly. 'If you want to have a relationship with the son of one of the most evil men on Earth, I'm not going to judge.'

'Kristoff is only Dr Doom's _adopted_ son.' Cassie corrected him. 'And besides, he's nothing like Doom. Kristoff is a nice person.'

'I bet he's a good kisser too.' Melissa chuckled.

'Oh yeah.' Cassie nodded with a dreamy smile on her face. 'The guy's a genius and a kickass kisser. What's not to like?'

'I'm not listening…' Scott said in a singsong voice, putting his fingers in his ears. 'La-la-la. Not listening…'

'And I thought _I_ was supposed to be the kid.' Cassie snickered.

* * *

**Back with Pietro and Crystal-**

Back with Pietro, Crystal and the others, everybody was catching up on old times.

'Well I must say that it's wonderful to see you two together.' Wanda said as she smiled at the sight of her brother and sister-in-law back together again. 'I hope it's permanent this time.'

'We hope so too.' Crystal replied as she took Pietro's hand in hers. 'Luna deserves a real family for once.'

'Especially now that she's a teenager.' Pietro added. 'She will need help with hormones and… things.'

'If you mean PMS, I already know all about it.' Luna shrugged nonchalantly. 'I'm grouchy for a few days every month. It's only a natural for a woman to go through such things, right?'

Pietro and Steve just looked at each other in horror. Just like any normal male, they had a whole thing about hearing women talk about 'women's things.' And as much as they tried to tune out the conversation, the ladies insisted on talking about sanitary towels and such.

'Do guys _always_ act like this when woman talk about women's things?' Luna asked.

'Oh yes.' Wanda nodded. 'Every straight man acts the same. Mention the slightest thing and they all develop a case of selective deafness.'

Pietro quickly decided to change the subject.

'So Wanda, how has life treated you?'

'Oh, you know…' Wanda replied. 'Same old. I have a new boyfriend…'

'Oh Wanda. That's just wonderful!' Crystal grinned, giving the redhead a big hug. 'Who is it? How has Simon taken it? What about Vizh?'

Wanda just smiled slightly and looked at Steve.

'Wait…' Crystal gasped. 'You don't mean that you're with Steve. Agon's Genes! You are!'

Pietro spat out his coffee in surprise.

'_What?_'

'You're not going to threaten me to look after Wanda, are you Pietro?' Steve joked. 'Because I don't think there's any need. I don't want to upset Wanda in case she destroys Avengers Mansion in a fit of rage.'

'What is it with everybody and having me destroy the mansion?' Wanda asked. 'What's the big joke? I don't have a temper, do I?'

Crystal, Pietro, Steve and Luna all looked at each other in silence.

'Umm…'

'Uhhh…'

'That is to say that…'

'It's not unusual to have a bad temper…' Luna commented. 'But add a bad temper to hex powers and you've got a situation waiting to happen.'

'I meditate every morning and every night to calm myself.' Wanda reassured everybody. 'Really. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine. Especially now that Steve and I are together.'

'Well that's wonderful to hear anyway.' Crystal smiled. 'You two deserve each other. You really do.'

'Thanks Crystal.' Wanda smiled. 'That really means a lot.'

'So when's the wedding?' Crystal grinned.

Then it was Steve's turn to spit out his coffee in surprise.

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

A short way away form the café where the Maximoffs were dining, two more Avengers were walking along the boardwalk. They were Clint Barton and Namorita. Also known as Hawkeye and… Namorita.

'It's such a wonderful day, Clint.' Namorita smiled as she clung to the archer's arm. 'Thank you so much for bringing me out today.'

'Hey, think nothing of it, 'Nita.' Clint shrugged. 'You were just vegetating in the Complex, a beautiful young lady like you needs to get out in the sun.'

'You think I'm… beautiful?' Namorita asked, her eyebrow rose in curiosity.

'Well, yeah.' Clint answered honestly. 'I have eyes and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The blue skin is a bonus.'

'Got a thing for fish-chicks with blue skin, huh?' Namorita teased. 'Got an Atlantean fetish?'

'I doubt all Atlanteans are as good-lookin' as you.' Clint grinned. 'Take your cousin for instance…'

'Yeah, Namor's no looker, is he?' Namorita chuckled. 'Unless you're Sue Richards of course…'

'Is that how you _really_ think of me, cousin? A lowly lothario only interested in one thing?'

Namorita winced at the sight of her cousin floating in front of her.

'And as for you Barton…' Namor continued, narrowing his eyes. 'Perhaps we had better talk about your feelings towards my cousin…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Kings and Archers**

_Hawkeye Vs Namor. 'Nuff said._


	10. Kings and Archers

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 10: Kings and Archers**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Nessie6- **_I'm glad you liked this. Pietro may not be my favourite Avenger but it is awfully fun to pick on._

**Inferno Elf- **_Luna was kidnapped by Fenris and Maximus the Mad and exposed to the Terrigen Mists. That is how she got her powers. _

**Needles- **_Yes, I think Namorita is the clone of Namora._

**Aaron- **_Heh-heh. It's always fun to tease the guys with mentions of 'women's things.' You can bet that Namor won't be all that pleased once he finds out about Clint and 'Nita. Heh._

**Unknown legacy- **_There will be more from Ant-Man soon._

**Agent-G- **_In Namorita's latest comic appearance (the latest New Warriors mini-series) she still has her blue skin. Yup, 'Nita will be sure to stick up for her new guy. Firestar and Tigra having a girls' night out? Sounds like an idea…_

**Thanks to- **_Sean Malloy-1._

* * *

**Malibu-**

Clint Barton, aka the archer known as Hawkeye, glared up at Namor. The King of Atlantis had popped in uninvited to a day out that Clint was having with Namorita, Namor's cousin.

'Now that I don't like you or anything, Subby…' Clint began. 'Okay, I don't like you. But what the Hell are you doing here? Invading the Surface World again?'

'You fully well know what I am doing, Barton.' Namor growled as he looked down at Clint with a steely gaze. 'You are making unwanted advances towards my cousin, and I am here to make sure that it does not continue.'

Clint looked right back at Namor and poked him in the chest.

'Now, you look here…' Clint growled. 'What right do _you_ have to dictate who 'Nita does or doesn't go out with?'

'I am the King of Atlantis!' Namor snapped angrily. 'My word is law. Whether my people live in Atlantis or on the Surface World.'

'Excuse me?' Namorita hissed. 'Can I have a word in edgeways?'

'Stay out of this, Namorita.' Namor replied, not even turning to look at his cousin.

Namorita just growled under her breath at her cousin's ignorance.

'Don't go flaunting your royalty here, _cousin._' Namorita spat. 'If you'll remember correctly, I sat on Atlantis' throne too. I have as much right to walk freely on the Surface World as anybody!'

Namor glared at his cousin and took her by the arm.

'Come now, cousin.' Namor demanded. 'You are needed back in Atlantis.'

'The Hell she is!' Clint hissed as he brandished a baseball bat that he had picked from a nearby stall. 'Get your stinking hands off her, you damned dirty fish-man!'

When Namor didn't do as he was told, Clint smashed the baseball bat upside his head.

Being nigh invulnerable as he was, Namor hardly felt the blow. He just turned to regard Clint once more.

'You shall _pay_ for defiling my personage with your touch.' Namor growled.

'Oh, crap…' Clint groaned. 'This is gonna suck.'

* * *

**Avengers Complex: Meanwhile-**

Back in the Avengers Complex, those Avengers that were not going out on dates were hanging out on the beach below the Complex. Vince, Tigra, Maddie, Vanessa, Vance and Angelica were making use of the time between missions.

Vance was presently sitting on an oversized inflatable ring in the sea and was using his telekinesis to propel himself through the water.

'Hey Angel! Look at me!' Vance called over, waving maniacally. 'Angel! You're not looking! Hey! _Loooook!_' He started to whine about it.

'Of course I'm looking, dear.' Angelica mumbled, not even looking up from the book she was reading. 'Very nice.'

'Is it me or has Vance been at the sugar again?' Tigra chuckled as she looked at her teammate over the brim of her sunglasses.

'It's not you.' Angelica chuckled in return. 'Vance hasn't been at the sugar either. He always gets like this when he's around the sea. It's what he gets after being brought up in the big city, I guess.'

'I know the feeling.' Tigra nodded. 'I'm a big city girl at heart myself.'

'And how exactly do you manage with the sand in your fur?' Angelica asked. 'Your fur must get clogged something terrible.'

'Tell me about it.' Tigra sniffed as she picked at a clump of sand stuck in the fur on her legs. 'Getting sand out of my fur is a bitch!'

'Why don't you just change back to normal?' Angelica suggested. 'Surely that would be more suitable.'

'This _is _normal to me.' Tigra replied as she indicated her furry hide. 'I haven't used my human form since…'

'Vince.' Angelica deduced. 'Do you think he digs the fuzzy chick?'

'I'm not sure.' Tigra sighed. 'He's never even _seen_ my human form. I know he likes Tigra, but… what if he doesn't like Greer?'

'I guess you'll just have to take that chance.' Angelica shrugged. 'There's no harm in trying, right?'

'I guess.' Tigra shrugged.

'Speak of the devil…' Angelica smirked as she saw a figure approach. 'Here he is now.'

'Heads up, everybody.' Vince whispered in warning as he walked up with a cooler full of drinks. 'Lovers' tiff at three o'clock!'

Angelica and Tigra both turned to see two arguing figures standing at the bottom of the steps that led from the Complex down to the beach. Maddie and Vanessa were having yet another argument. It had been this way ever since Maddie had returned from a Summers family reunion with Baby Gabriel. **(1)**

'I can't believe you're being so selfish!' Maddie hissed as she held Gabriel close to her.

'I'm not being selfish!' Vanessa responded. 'I'm just saying that you're spending too much time with that damn baby! What happened to our special time?'

'Do you see what I mean?' Maddie grumbled. 'You're being selfish. Looking after a baby is a full-time task. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to get together as much as we used to, but the baby is my top priority now.'

'The kid isn't even _yours!_' Vanessa spat.

'Well, he's the clone of my son reverted to infancy, so he kind of is my child.' Maddie responded. 'I don't want to fail Gabriel like I did with Nathan. Please, you have to see where I'm coming from.'

Vanessa just sniffed angrily and turned her back before walking away.

'Vanessa? Where are you going?' Maddie asked as she watched the receding figure of her partner. 'You're not leaving, are you?'

'I'm going out.' Vanessa replied, not even turning to look at Maddie. 'Don't know what time I'll be back.'

'Fine.' Maddie sniffed. 'Be that way then. You're acting pretty immature. Being jealous of a baby. I thought you were better than this.'

Vanessa didn't answer as she headed up the steps back to the Complex.

* * *

**Downtown-**

'Namor, no!' Namorita yelled as she watched her cousin send Clint smashing through the window of a nearby sporting goods store with a colossal punch. 'You idiot! You could've killed him!'

'I do not think so, cousin.' Namor snorted as he turned to regard his younger cousin. 'The Avengers are a hardy lot. Unfortunately. Now, come along. We have much to discuss.'

'Like hell we do!' Namorita sneered as she swatted Namor's hand away. 'I have as much right to be here as much as anybody else. And I don't walk around causing stupid fights over petty jealousy!'

'Jealousy?' Namor sputtered. 'I am not jealous!'

'Are too.' Namorita responded. 'You think that I can't have a love life just because Sue Storm doesn't return your advances. You're like a freaking stalker!'

'You had best watch your tongue.' Namor warned. 'Cousin or not, I will not accept such insolence.'

'And just what will you do if I continue?' Namorita challenged. 'You gonna banish me or something? You going to ground me? Kick my ass? I'd like to see you try.'

'I did not come here for a fight.' Namor explained.

'Coulda fooled me.'

'What in Neptune's na…AHHH!'

Namor bellowed in rage as an arrow protruded from his chest.

'God bless arrows with adamantium tips.' Clint grinned as he nocked another arrow in a bow. 'C'mon Fish-Face, Gimmie an excuse to use this!'

'Clint, don't!' Namorita pleaded. 'Please. There's no need to fight like this. Let's just sit down and act like responsible adults. Okay?'

'You shoulda said that to your cousin before he smashed me through a freaking window.' Clint sniffed, still pointing the bow at Namor.

'You should have thought of that before you even intended to touch Royal flesh.' Namor responded. 'You are not worthy to court my cousin.'

'Hey!' Namorita yelled. 'I'd like to have a word in edgewise if you don't mind.'

Namorita looked her cousin straight in the eye and poked him in the chest.

'I will choose to court whoever I damn well wish.' Namorita explained. 'Whether you approve of them or not. Clint is a wonderful man and I can see the relationship going very far.'

'Really?' Clint blinked. 'Wow. You really like me?'

'When you're not shooting my cousin full of arrows.' Namorita nodded. 'Now, what do you say you put the bow down?'

'Only if Subby stands down too.' Clint replied.

'Namor?' Namorita asked as she turned to regard her cousin.

'Very well.' Namor sighed. 'You have no need to fear me now.'

'That's better.' Namorita nodded. 'Now, what do you guys say you both buy me a drink? I'm parched.'

The trio never got anywhere as a star-spangled figure ran up to meet them.

'What in Liberty's name went on here?' Captain America asked as he looked about at the smashed storefronts.

'What?' Clint snickered. 'No hug? Or are you just checking up on the wayward kiddies?'

'I asked the very same thing, Barton.' Pietro added as he ran up with Crystal, Wanda and Luna close behind.

'Long story short…' Namorita began. 'My cousin decided that he would pop in and rag on my choice of dates. Things went out of hand. People got smashed through storefronts. The end.'

'Gee, you suck, Subby.' Luna snickered.

'Luna!' Crystal hissed. 'Shush.'

'Well, he does.' Luna sniffed.

'Namor, we really have to talk about this…' Cap sighed as he stepped up to his old friend. 'You can't just invade when you don't agree on your cousin's choice of men.'

'Umm, excuse me?' Clint piped up. 'Not that I wanna undermine your authority or anything but… Malibu is under our protection. I'm the leader of the West Coast Avengers and I should be giving Subby the speech.'

'Under these circumstances, I don't think that would be such a good idea, babe.' Namorita countered as she patted Clint on the shoulder in comfort. 'Just let Cap do his job, 'kay? My cousin will hear Cap out. After all, they have known each other since The War.'

'Better not make a habit of this, is all I'm saying.' Clint sniffed.

'And to think the big news a short while ago was the fact that Steve and I were having red-hot monkey sex.' Wanda chuckled.

'You and Cap are doing _what?_' Clint sputtered.

'Perhaps now isn't such a good time.' Wanda winced.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Next Step**

_Angelica and Tigra go on a girls' night out while their other halves go bowling. When the time comes for Vince and Tigra to take the next step in their relationship, which one will Vince prefer, Tigra or Greer? Tune in next time to find out…_

* * *

**Notes-**

**(1)- **_Maddie, Jean Grey, Rachel Grey and Cable used their telekinesis on Stryfe to scamble his molecules and reverted him to childhood. Maddie then named him Gabriel, cuz Stryfe is acrappy name for a baby._


	11. The First Step: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 11: The Next Step- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Vince belongs to Agent-G. I own Jessie/Demona._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**The Dude- **_Thanks for the review, uh… Dude. Copycat isn't a villain. She's kind of an anti-hero. I've never been a fan of Namor either. Arrogant king-type jerk. Vince and Vance cheating at bowling? Hmm, we shall just have to wait and see. It's funny that you should mention Ant-Man and Songbird actually, they're going to be the focus of the next chapter. :D_

**Ruby631- **_In her human form, Greer Grant-Nelson has black hair. Other than that, I don't know. _

**Todd fan- **_I bet Namor would prefer to be up Sue Storm._

**Sean Malloy-1- **_Sorry, no plans for anybody getting married in the foreseeable future._

**Doza- **_I haven't been reading House of M actually, I kinda lost interest in Bendis' stuff ever since the Carnage arc in Ultimate Spidey. Yes, Copycat is jealous. Could this mean the end for her and Maddie? We shall have to wait and see…_

**Agent-G- **_If you will remember, Cap and Wanda were having lunch with Pietro and Crystal in a nearby diner when Namor popped up. Namor is one tough guy so I'd guess that he can heal quickly. If he can stand up against a Hydra-controlled Wolverine, then I'm sure Namor can withstand an arrow in the chest._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he wouldn't have made animals out of meat.'_

* * *

**Tigra's Room-**

Tigra let out a reluctant moan as she felt the rays of the morning sun shine on to her back. It had been yet another sweaty night for the weretiger. The Californian heat added to a full pelt of fur didn't make for a very comfortable night's sleep, hence Tigra's preference to sleep naked.

'Bleurgh.' Tigra mumbled as she rolled on to her side to look at her clock. 'Uch, quarter-to six. Have to get up.'

Against her better judgement, Tigra slowly got up out of bed and headed for her mirror.

Tigra looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror and patted her belly.

'Hunh. Have to cut down on those late night snacks.' Tigra sniffed as she scratched her neck. 'Have to hurry. Gotta train the kids…'

Tigra slunk over to her bathroom to get freshened up for her training session with Luna, Cassie and the rest of the Young Avengers.

Tigra peered into the mirror on the bathroom wall and inspected the bags under her eyes.

'Blech. I'm too old for this junk.' The weretiger muttered. 'I'll never be able to have my wicked way with Vince looking like some kind of scantily-clad panda.'

Tigra leant into the shower and turned on the water. She waited for the water to heat up a little before stepping in.

Tigra hummed to herself as she lathered up her hands and began to wash. It was a big day for the veteran Avenger. Tonight was the night where she had decided to take the next step in her relationship with Vince. The pair had become much closer ever since Vince had told Tigra about his past and it was only a matter of time until the pair went all the way to becoming an official couple. But first Tigra had to take care of the training session with the Young Avengers, as well as a girls' night out with Angelica and Melissa.

* * *

**Downstairs-**

After her shower, Tigra got dressed in her usual skimpy black bikini and headed downstairs to snag some breakfast. The weretiger stopped near the bottom of the stairs as she heard the sound of crying nearby. Tigra peeked around the corner and saw Maddie slumped on the sofa crying to herself. Tigra's heart went out to the woman, ever since Maddie had taken in Baby Gabriel, her relationship with Vanessa had hit a slump. The mutant shapeshifter had become jealous of all the time that Maddie had been spending with the child.

Tigra walked over to Maddie and sat down beside her.

'Maddie, is everything okay?' Tigra asked gently.

'I-I'm fine…' Maddie sniffed as she rubbed her tearstained eyes.

'Maddie…' Tigra sighed. 'This is about Vanessa, isn't it?'

'Oh God…' Maddie threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. 'Does _everybody _know about us?'

'It's hard not to notice when you guys stay up all night arguing.' Tigra responded. 'Do you want to talk about it? I'm here if you want to.'

'No, I'm alright, really.' Maddie shook her head. 'I'm sure it's just my time of the month.'

'Mel, Angel and I are having a girls' night out. You can come along if you want.' Tigra suggested. 'You never know, it might help you feel better.'

'It's nice of you to offer…' Maddie smiled slightly. 'But I don't want to be a third wheel. I'd only get in your way.'

'If you're sure…' Tigra nodded. 'I won't force you. But remember, if you want to talk, I'll always be willing to lend an ear, 'kay?'

'Thank you, Tigra.' Maddie smiled again. 'You're a real friend.'

Tigra nodded sadly as she headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Maddie and Vanessa's relationship was skirting on a thin line and it was only a matter of time until they broke up. Everybody could see it, the relationship was on its last legs. Tigra just hoped that they didn't have another Inferno on their hands when the pair did break up.

* * *

**Later-**

Tigra looked into her mirror and admired her dress. The weretiger was wearing a slinky black number that was rather conservative compared to some of the clothes she wore. The dress was nice and snug in places but still allowed Tigra's tail freedom of movement.

'Oh yeah, pure man bait.' Tigra grinned as she gave herself a twirl. 'Rrowr!'

Tigra looked over at her alarm clock and cursed to herself.

'Aww, dammit!' Tigra hissed. 'I'm gonna be late. Crap! Crap! Crap! I have to find my shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes…'

Tigra scampered around her room in search of shoes that matched her dress.

'Why couldn't I just leave them in their box?' Tigra muttered to herself. 'I just had to try them out. Now, where did I put them…?'

Tigra continued to mutter to herself as she turned her bedroom upside down in search of her shoes.

Elsewhere, Vince was preparing for his night out with Vance and Scott. The Canadian mutant had selected a simple red shirt and black pants. He was just as nervous as Tigra about the special night. The pair hadn't actually talked together about making tonight 'their first night' but Vince was smart enough to understand that his feline girlfriend was considering it.

Vince was in no way new to this kind of thing, his first time had been quite some time ago back in Canada, but he was still nervous about being intimate with Tigra. Tigra was one of the most attractive superheroes in the world. You could forget Emma Frost or the Scarlet Witch, Tigra was the one for him.

Unfortunately, there was also the matter that Tigra had issues with her human form. Vince had never even _seen_ the real Greer Grant-Nelson, and hopefully he would be able to help Tigra with her issues. Vince had managed to get the courage to show Tigra all his scars, both physical and psychological, and it was only a matter of time until he managed to help Tigra with hers.

Vince straightened out his shirt and checked his hair.

'Yup, that'll do.' Vince nodded at his reflection. 'It's now or never…'

Vince took a deep breath as he headed out the door. Hopefully he wouldn't crash and burn. That would be terrible, to work so hard at this relationship and then ruin it by trying to help his girlfriend…

Vince shook such thoughts from his head and made his way to Vance and Scott.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Next Step- Part 2**

_Will Vince be able to help Tigra with her issues about her human form? Tune in next time to find out…_


	12. The First Step: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 12: The First Step: Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Quote of the day: **_'Dental plan... Lisa needs braces… Dental plan… Lisa needs braces… Dental plan… Lisa needs braces…'_

* * *

**Downtown Malibu-**

In a bar somewhere in downtown Malibu, Tigra, Songbird and Firestar were having the time of their lives.

Tigra laughed out loud at the dirty joke that Melissa told.

'Geez, Mel…' Tigra chuckled as she sipped her beer. 'I thought you were supposed to be a good girl.'

'I bet that Scott would say otherwise, huh?' Angelica snickered.

'Angelica!' Melissa mock gasped. 'Don't be so filthy!'

'Says the woman with the thing for dirty jokes.' Tigra tutted.

'Oh, and like you and Vince are perfectly innocent…' Melissa rolled her eyes.

'Actually Mel, Vince and I have yet to experience the many pleasures of lovemaking.' Tigra pointed out.

'_Get out!_' Melissa sputtered. 'Tigra, not doing it on the first date? It's the end of the world!'

That comment hurt Tigra. The feline Avenger had a reputation as a bit of a slut. She had been on more one-night stands than the other Avengers had hot dinners. Tigra was trying desperately to escape that reputation, but the public at large still pretty much regarded her as a furry harlot.

Angelica put a comforting hand on Tigra's shoulder.

'I'm sure Mel didn't mean that, sweetie.' The redheaded former New Warrior comforted her. 'It was just a joke, right?'

'Yeah, Tigra…' Melissa nodded. 'I was just kidding. Sorry. I know you're trying to work your way out of that reputation…'

'Aww, forget about it…' Tigra shrugged it off. 'We're here to have a good time, not get depressed. Right?'

'Yeah.' Mel smiled. 'To good times!'

'Good times!' Tigra and Angelica held up their drinks in a toast.

Tigra turned her head as she heard somebody start to sing on the stage.

'Ooh! Karaoke night!' Tigra beamed. 'Let's go sign up!'

Mel and Angelica followed Tigra to the edge of the stage, where people were starting to line up to register for karaoke.

'I bet you twenty bucks she sings Toxic.' Mel said as she fished out a note from her purse.

'I'll have some of that.' Angelica grinned as she added her contribution to the betting pot.

**

* * *

Elsewhere-**

Not very far away from the bar where Tigra and the girls were having their night out was a bowling alley. This was where Vince, Vance and Scott had chosen to have their guys' night out.

Vince and Scott were sitting back while Vance lined up his shot.

'I have to tell you guys, this is a great night out.' Vince grinned. 'I swear, I haven't been bowling for years.'

'We always used to go bowling when I was with the Avengers.' Vance butted in, smiling smugly. 'I used to toast everybody! I was unbeatable!'

'That isn't how I heard it, buddy.' Scott snickered. 'I heard that Wanda beat you. _Wanda!_'

'Only because she used her hex powers.' Vance sulked.

'Just take your shot, Astrovik.' Vince sighed. 'The rest of us have yet to have a go.'

'Getting antsy to get your butt kicked?' Scott smirked.

'Just you wait and see…' Vince crossed his arms. 'I'll soon wipe those smirks off your face.'

'Just remember what we agreed…' Scott reminded people. 'No powers are to be used.'

'You're just saying that because your powers suck.' Vance retorted.

'Bite me, _Justice._' Scott glared.

'I think that's Melissa's job.' Vance retorted again. 'Don't you agree, Vince?'

'Keep me out of this…' Vince held his hands up in defence. 'I'm neutral.'

'Geez, thanks man.' Vance rolled his eyes. 'I thought we were supposed to be buds or something.'

'I just don't want to get on anybody's bad sides.' Vince responded. 'Especially the girls.'

'Oh yeah, hell hath no fury like an Avenger pissed.' Scott chuckled.

Vance crowed in victory as he scored a strike.

'Oh yeah! Who's the daddy? Who's the daddy?' The telekinetic mutant crowed. 'Go Vance, it's your birthday!'

Vince and Scott just looked at each other with bemused expressions.

Vince shook his head with a sympathetic sigh.

'He should _really_ lay off the sugar.'

* * *

**Back with the girls-**

Back in a nearby bar, the girls' night out was in full swing as Tigra did her thing on the karaoke.

'Yeah! Go Tigra!' Melissa whooped. 'You rock!'

'_Whooooo!_' Angelica chimed in. 'Show these guys how the Avengers do it!'

Once her song had finished, Tigra headed back to her friends.

'Whoa, what a rush.' Tigra swooned as she took a swig of her beer. 'We _so_ have to do a song together!'

'Oh no…' Melissa said as she held up her hands and began to back away. 'Not in public. Singing in the shower is bad enough, but in public… Nuh-uh. No way.'

'Aww, c'mon Mel.' Angelica grinned as she put an arm around the reformed villain's shoulders. 'It's only one little song. There's nothing to be afraid of.'

'You go and sing with Tigra then.' Melissa retorted. 'I'll just sit here and give you moral support.'

'What's the matter?' Tigra asked. '_Chicken?_'

Melissa narrowed her eyes at the feline Avenger.

'Nobody, but _nobody_ calls me chicken!' Melissa growled.

Tigra just strutted back and forth clucking like a chicken.

'Okay, that's it!' Melissa growled as she got off her seat and pulled Tigra back towards the stage. 'We're gonna sing together!'

'Good God, Tigra!' Angelica winced. 'What kind of monster have you created?'

* * *

**Back with the guys-**

Back at the bowling alley, it was time for Scott to take his turn. Vance and Vince were talking about their other halves.

'I swear, man, Angel does this cutest little thing with her nose whenever she laughs. She wrinkles it up and…'

'Yeah, I get it.' Vince rolled his eyes. 'Angelica only has to wrinkle her nose and you're all over her. Kind of like a seductive Bewitched.'

'Heh. I guess you could say that.' Vance chuckled. 'So, what first interested you about Tigra? It was the tiny black bikini, wasn't it?'

'Vance, not every man thinks with his little brain.' Vince sighed. 'What first attracted me to Tigra was her smile. Tigra has the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen. A little childlike wonder combined with mischievousness. Then there are the green eyes. God, how I love the green eyes…'

'Melissa likes to be tickled.' Scott piped up. 'She's especially ticklish on her feet. Whenever she's feeling down, getting tickled on her feet always cheers her up.'

'I don't think Angel's ticklish.' Vance said thoughtfully. 'Then again, we've never actually tried something like that.'

'It's the same way with Tigra.' Vince nodded. 'She might be ticklish, I don't know. I've never actually tried to tickle her.'

'Have you ever seen Tigra in her human form?' Scott asked. 'I admit that I've only known her for a short while but I've never once seen her as a human.'

'I'm not sure whether this is my place to tell you guys this…' Vince said. 'But I think Tigra has issues with her human form. I won't go into details because Ii know as much as you do, but I don't think Tigra likes her human form. She feels more comfortable as Tigra, not as Greer Grant-Nelson.'

'I guess it's none of our business, really.' Scott shrugged. 'Whether Tigra has issues with her human for or not is your business.'

'Yeah, I'm sure you guys will sort it all out.' Vance nodded. 'You guys are great together. You're a real cute couple.'

'Thanks, Vance.' Vince smiled. 'You and Angelica are great together too. So are you and Melissa, Scott.'

'Thanks, buddy.' Scott patted Vince on the shoulder. 'Just try to get together soon, okay? I've got twenty bucks riding on you guys.'

Vince just shook his head good-naturedly.

'You guys are shameless, you know that?'

* * *

**Avengers Complex, later-**

The guys and girls had returned from their respective nights out and had retired to bed.

Vince was in his room preparing for bed when somebody knocked on his door.

'Vince, it's me, Tigra. Can I come in?'

'Sure, just give me a sec…' Vince responded as he pulled on an old t-shirt that he used as sleepwear.

The bedroom door slowly opened and Tigra peered inside.

'Are you decent?' Tigra placed a hand over her eyes.

'Yeah, I'm fully clothed.' Vince replied with a chuckle.

'Damn…' Tigra muttered as she removed her hand. 'I wanted to see some man-flesh.'

Vince just shook his head with a chuckle. He then noticed Tigra's present attire. The feline Avenger was clad in a skimpy black silk robe that barely passed her backside. She also had some wine and glasses with her.

'Planning a party?' Vince asked, indicating the wine.

'I just wanted to know whether you fancied a nightcap.' Tigra responded. 'This wine's supposed to be good stuff. Tony Stark recommended it.'

'I thought he was teetotal now.' Vince remembered.

'I think this stuff was his favourite brand.' Tigra shrugged. 'Y'know, before his temperate days.'

Tigra placed the glasses on the bedside table and carefully poured out the wine before handing Vince his glass.

'Thanks.' Vince smiled as he clinked his glass against Tigra's. 'Cheers.'

'Cheers.' Tigra smiled back as she took a sip. 'Oh my. That's… a little rough.'

'Yeah.' Vince wined. 'Are you sure that isn't just some cheapo brand from the Budget Mart?'

'Well, that would explain why Tony used to like it during his alcoholic days.' Tigra nodded.

'Now, what brings you to my parlour?' Vince asked as he laid the glass down on the bedside table.

'Well, I was lonely for one.' Tigra explained. 'I just felt like a little male company.'

'Oh, I see…' Vince realised. 'Y'know, we don't have to do this just yet.'

'Vince, a woman has needs…' Tigra sighed heavily. 'And a woman with powers like mine has quite a lot of needs, if you catch my drift. We're close, right?'

'Yes.' Vince nodded. 'Very close.'

'Then why don't we see to those needs?' Tigra asked. 'I know that you have had the same thoughts that I have. I can smell it on you. I want to be with you Vince.'

Vince took Tigra's hand in his and looked her right in the eye.

'I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't thought about this moment.' Vince said. 'But there's something that I want to see first…'

'Oh…?' Tigra blinked. 'What is it?'

'I want to see the real you, Tigra.' Vince replied. 'I want to see Greer Grant-Nelson. If this relationship is going to be serious, I don't want there to be secrets between us.'

Tigra turned away slightly.

'Vince, this _is_ the real me…' Tigra said solemnly. 'Greer Grant-Nelson is just a disguise. Greer Grant-Nelson doesn't exist anymore. Not after the experiments that turned me into Tigra…'

Vince took Tigra's chin in one hand and turned her back to face him.

'Tigra. Greer, please…' He asked. 'I just want to see you for a little while. I swear to you that I won't freak out or laugh at you.'

Tigra bit her lip nervously. She knew that Vince was a honourable man, he would never do anything to make her feel bad.

'Okay, just for a while…' Tigra sighed as she touched the medallion around her neck.

Tigra's body seemed to shimmer as she slowly turned into an attractive brunette woman.

'Yeah, I know, I'm nothing to look at…' Greer Grant-Nelson sighed. 'Nothing like Tigra.'

'Greer, it doesn't matter to me who you are. Tigra or Greer, I love you both.' Vince reassured her honestly. 'You didn't freak out when you saw all of my scars, so I have no right to freak out about your problems.'

'Thank you, Vince…' Tigra smiled as she planted a gentle kiss on his lips. 'That really means a lot.'

'I'm glad that I can help.' Vince smiled back.

'Can I turn back into Tigra now?' Greer asked. 'I feel kinda naked without the fur.'

'Well, you kinda _are_ naked.' Vince teased, indicating her skimpy robe.

'Hmm, perhaps we'd better do something about that…' Greer chuckled as she turned back into Tigra.

Vince gulped nervously as Tigra slowly untied her robe and let it fall around her feet, leaving her standing naked before him.

'You like?' Tigra asked as she gave Vince a twirl.

Vince just sat there dumbstruck. He had never seen such a sight before. Tigra was standing naked before him. Most men would give an arm to be in the same position.

'I'll take your dumbstruck silence to be a good thing.' Tigra grinned as she twirled her tail in her hand. 'Now, to the task at hand…'

Tigra knelt on the bed and pushed Vince on to his back. Tigra looked the defenceless Canadian over with a predatory grin.

'Mmm, I could eat you all up.' Tigra licked her lips as she stroked Vince's cheek with a single claw. 'Yum-yum.'

'Are you always this… dominant?' Vince asked.

'Is that a problem?' Tigra pulled back a little. 'Am I moving to fast?'

'Oh no.' Vince shook his head. 'It's just that this kind of thing is a little new to me.'

'The _good_ kind of new, right?' Tigra asked.

'Oh yes.' Vince smiled. 'Definitely good.'

'Glad to hear it, lover.' Tigra purred as she licked Vince's neck. 'God, I love you…'

Vince ran his hand through the fur on Tigra's back, eliciting a contented purr from the feline Avenger.

'I love you too, Tigra. For now and forever…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Break-ups, And Ninjas, And Killer Robots, Oh My!**

_A gang war is brewing in Malibu between two long-time enemies of the Avengers: Ultron and the Mandarin. Not a good time for two Avengers to break up then._


	13. Ninjas and Killer Robots: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 13: Ninjas, And Killer Robots- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Author's Note- **_I would also like to thank Agent-G for giving me the idea for this chapter. Thanks very much, ol' buddy._

* * *

**Downtown Malibu, midnight-**

It was midnight in the coastal Californian town of Malibu and there was nastiness afoot…

The Jade Scorpion Gang was a highly-trained group of martial artists originating from China. They also dabbled in a little bit of drug-dealing, prostitution and protection racketeering. It was rumoured that they had links to the Hand. Which was pretty ironic, seeing that the Hand was Japanese and all. But nobody dared to point that out to the Jade Scorpion Gang. They were well-known to be ruthless warriors, and gave no mercy to those that angered them.

Several high-ranking members of the gang were supposed to be meeting some potential buyers in the back room of one of Malibu's less reputable clubs. Well, that's what was supposed to be going on. In reality, the meeting went off a little different than planned.

Officer Greer-Grant Nelson of the Malibu PD had seen more gang wars than she would care to admit. But this gang war was different than those that she was used to. Usually, opposing gangs would resort to drive-by shootings, but the dead gang members, or what remained of them, had not been shot. Each and every gang member had great big holes blown in them, as if someone hat shot them with a cannon at point blank range. One thing that was quite unusual about these wounds, apart from the sheer size, was the fact that the wounds had been cauterized, like somebody had zapped them with some kind of laser blaster.

As a charter member of the West Coast Avengers in her guise as Tigra, Greer had seen wounds like this before. Not firsthand, mind you, but she had read files on the suspect.

'Any idea what kind of thing coulda done this?' One of Greer's fellow police officers scratched his head. 'D'you think this could be a tights and spandex kinda situation?'

'It sure looks that way, Callahan.' Greer nodded. 'I'll have a word with my contact with the Avengers.'

Little did Officer Callahan know that Greer _was_ the contact with the Avengers. Once she and her fellow Homicide officers had finished with their investigation, Greer would be heading straight back to Avengers Complex to analyze the remains of the gang members.

* * *

**West Coast Avengers Complex, the next morning-**

Tigra shot up with a start as she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

'Easy there, sleepy head.' The Canadian mutant known as Mayhem smiled gently. 'You were up all night working on this new assignment. I missed you last night.'

'Sorry, babe.' Tigra smiled apologetically. 'But when evil is afoot, snuggle time is put on a backburner.'

'I understand.' Vince nodded sympathetically. 'So, what's the what? Do you have any ID on the perp? Do we have to hit the clubs and tangle with the stoolies until they squawk?'

'Vince, you're babbling.' Tigra pointed out.

'Sorry.' Vince winced. 'Too many bad gangster movies.'

Tigra rubbed the bridge of her nose and stretched the kinks out of her back.

'Well, everything points to the same… person.' Tigra explained. 'But it just doesn't make sense. These Jade Scorpion guys look as if they were killed by laser beams. The same kind of laser beams that Ultron uses... Am I going too fast? I know you're kind of new to the American hero biz.'

'No, I'm following.' Vince nodded. 'Ultron: Psychotic android created by Hank Pym. Has a big mad-on for all biological life. But that doesn't explain why he'd want to kill these gang members.'

'Well, apart from the usual hatred of biological life...' Tigra pointed out. 'Ultron has never been one to get obsessed over monetary gain. He just used to take whatever he wanted.'

Vince narrowed his eyes as he look a look at Tigra's report on the computer screen.

'It says here that the dugs shipment that the Jade Scorpions were supposed to pick up was stolen in the fracas. What would Ultron want with a load of cocaine?'

'Maybe the guy's developed a habit.' Tigra suggested jokingly. 'It takes all types.'

'Hmm, perhaps…' Vince nodded thoughtfully. 'Have you got any possible hideouts pinpointed?'

'I'm running a systems check on any computer companies that are linked with Hank Pym.' Tigra explained. 'Ultron has this freaky Oedipal complex going on, so it's more than likely that he's hiding out somewhere that's linked to his creator.'

'I'll go gather the others.' Vince nodded. 'In the meantime, take a rest. Even cops take time off.'

'Yes, sir!' Tigra saluted him cheekily.

* * *

**The briefing room, later-**

The West Coast Avengers were all gathered around the meeting table in the briefing room while Tigra told them all about her findings. It was also decided that Jocasta should sit in on the meeting, as her history with Ultron could show some valuable insights.

'I knew it was only a matter of time before that overgrown toaster oven showed up again.' Hawkeye groused. 'No offence.' He quickly smiled at Jocasta.

'None taken.' The former Bride of Ultron nodded in reply.

'I've run a systems check on all the likely locations where Ultron might be hiding out.' Tigra announced. 'The one location that seems the most likely is EssexTech. Hank Pym souped up their AI systems recently so I'm willing to bet that he's hiding out there.'

'Do we even have a plan of attack?' Pietro asked. 'Or are we just going to run in there with guns blazing?'

'And you should know all about running in with guns blazing, darling.' Crystal gently teased. 'But really, we do need a plan.'

'That's why I was hoping on your suggestions, guys.' Tigra looked at her teammates. 'Just like Pie said, charging in there like a gang of gung-ho won't do anything but get us killed.'

'I guess Vance and I could scramble their sensors with our telekinesis.' Maddie suggested. 'That way they won't see us coming.'

'And I could shrink us all down so we can sneak in unnoticed.' Scott added. 'That's if nobody has any problems with riding on ants.'

'I could give us extra cover by scrambling weather patterns.' Crystal offered.

'Can you even **_do_** that?' Melissa blinked.

'Well, I can control the four elements, so yeah.' Crystal nodded. 'With just a little gentle prod, I could 'convince' the air around the EssexTech building to help us out.'

'I could mix up their systems with microwave radiation, if you want.' Angelica added.

'Well, that sounds like a great plan.' Tigra grinned. 'While you guys do all that, the rest of us get to smash a load of robots.'

'Sounds like my kind of party.' Clint grinned. 'Just let me get my super-duper anti-metal arrows just in case.'

'Mmm, I love a man who thinks ahead.' Namorita murmured as she lay her head on the archer's shoulder.

'Really?' Clint cocked a curious eyebrow. 'Tell me more…'

* * *

**EssexTech-**

Sure enough, the Avengers' plan worked like a charm, and Ultron was totally unaware of their arrival. That didn't stop him from releasing his army of robot lackeys though. Fortunately for the Avengers, these cheap reproductions were nowhere near as hardy as the original. It would take even more than the world's entire adamantium stock to properly armour Ultron's lackeys, so the majority of the were armoured with titanium, which fell to pieces like a cheaply-made shelf under the might of the Avengers.

'Man, this fight is hardly worth it.' Mayhem snorted as he smashed two robo-lackeys together. 'These guys crumple like a polystyrene cup!'

'Don't get cocky, babe.' Tigra warned him as she decapitated another robo-lackey with her claws. 'Ultron isn't to be underestimated!'

'Bah! Foolish fleshbags!' Ultron sneered as he watched the fight from his command room. 'You cannot possibly wish to defeat me! I am Ultron! I am invincible!'

'So says the guy that's been discombobulated too many times for me to count.' Hawkeye rolled his eyes as he destroyed a trio of robo-lackeys with a well-aimed grenade arrow.

'So it's just three times, then.' Quicksilver quipped as he battered several more robo-lackeys with his super-fast fists.

'Real cute, Pie.' Hawkeye sighed. 'Real cute.'

The fight seemed to be in the Avengers' favour, when suddenly, a wall to the building exploded inwards, knocking the Earth's Mightiest Heroes and robo-lackeys alike to the ground.

Ultron whirled to face the intruder.

'Who dares…?'

'Surely you must remember me, robot…' A heavily accented voice said as a figure strode through the smoke. 'After all, I was the one that reassembled you.'

'Aww, **man!' **Namorita groaned as she pushed the slab of concrete off her back with ease. 'Don't **any** of you villains stay dead?'

The form of the immortal warlord known as the Mandarin strode into the room, flanked by hoards of Hand ninjas.

'I ordered you to be reassembled to ensure that my many… businesses were successful, robot.' The Mandarin recapped. 'But it seems that my technicians were rather unsuccessful. It is such a pity that I have to destroy you myself. You would have made a lovely ashtray.'

'You will never get the chance, fleshbag!' Ultron sneered. 'Robo-lackeys, I command you to kill the Mandarin and all who serve him!'

The Mandarin then turned to his Hand ninjas.

'Destroy the robot and all his creations!' The Mandarin bellowed. 'Lay down your lives if necessary!'

Tigra wriggled out from under some wreckage with a grunt.

'God, I hate domestic disputes…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Ninjas, And Killer Robots- Part 2**

_The Mandarin and the Hand takes on Ultron and his robot lackeys with the West Coast Avengers stuck in the middle. Just a normal day in the life of Malibu's Mightiest Heroes then…_


	14. Ninjas and Killer Robots: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 14: Ninjas and Killer Robots- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Malibu, California-**

The EssexTech building was in a state of chaos. The West Coast Avengers had arrived to apprehend the psychotic robot known as Ultron, only for the Mandarin to arrive with a veritable army of Hand ninjas. Everything had just hit the fan. As well as evil robots intent on eradicating all human life, the heroes had to contend with a hoard of ninjas.

'You expect me to be _grateful_ for my resurrection?' Ultron yelled over the din of laser beams and ninja weapons clanging. 'Such feelings are unnatural, and should be eradicated alongside biological life forms!'

The Mandarin incinerated one of Ultron's robo-lackeys with a burst of flame from one of his rings, and made his way towards the command centre, where the psychotic robot stood.

'I do not expect satisfaction from my underlings.' The Mandarin retorted as he turned another robot into ice. 'I require subservience! You are little more than an object to be discarded after use.'

'Meaningless babble!' Ultron sneered. 'You may say all that you want, but the outcome will always be the same. Robotic domination of the whole world!'

Back down below, the Avengers were having their own problems. No matter how many robots, or ninjas, they cut down, umpteen more popped up to take their place.

'I like a bit of gratuitous violence as much as the next guy...' Mayhem exclaimed as he punched a hole through a robot that had been foolish enough to engage him. 'But shouldn't we move outside? A great big fight such as this _can't _be good for the building's structural integrity.'

Tigra let out an angry yowl as she found herself in-between two of Ultron's robo-lackeys. Their hands glowed as they prepared to blast Tigra into ash. Before they could even blast her one little bit, the were-tiger leapt up into the air. it was too late for the two robo-lackeys however, as they ended up blasting each other.

'Aww, yeah! That's what I'm talking about!' Tigra crowed in victory. 'You overgrown toaster ovens think that you're all that. But you're not!'

'Less talk, more smashy-smashy!' Namorita pointed out as she flew above Tigra's head and punched a pair of ninjas across the room.

Unfortunately, another pair soon took their place and leapt at the Atlantean princess.

'Hey-hey! Busy hands!' Namorita hissed as she swatted them away.

'Get away from my woman, freaks!' Hawkeye yelled as he took both ninjas out with a pair of well-aimed arrows.

'I coulda handled them.' Namorita sniffed.

'Can't a guy revel in rescuing a damsel in distress once in a while?' Hawkeye shrugged innocently.

'Aww, I love it when you get all chivalrous.' Namorita smiled sweetly. 'But first, we still have a bunch of asses to kick.'

Nearby, Madelyne Pryor was at the end of her tether. She really didn't need this kind of crap. Her relationship with Copycat had just fallen apart. The mutant shapeshifter was jealous over Maddie's relationship with baby Gabriel. Copycat had promptly left soon after. So you could see why Maddie wasn't in the best of moods.

'I. Have. Had. _ENOUGH!_'

Everybody in the building, robot, ninja, and Avengers alike, were promptly knocked to the floor by Maddie's telekinetic wave.

'Ooh. Did anybody get the number of that truck?' Ant-Man groaned.

'Uh... Madelyne?' Quicksilver blinked as he slowly got to his feet. 'What are you doing?'

Maddie pushed the speedster back with another telekinetic wave.

'I'm going to finish this. Even if it means bringing this damn building down over our heads!'

The gaze in Maddie's eyes made all of the Avengers shiver in fear. None of them had been present for the Inferno incident several years ago, but they had heard stories from the X-Men. Maddie would have destroyed the world if it wasn't for the efforts of Jean Grey and those closest to her. The X-Men weren't present right now, so the Avengers were screwed if Maddie went Inferno on everybody's asses.

Firestar, Justice, and Crystal tried to get to their feet to stop Maddie from doing anything that she'd regret, but ended up getting flattened to the floor once more.

'Maddie... You have to stop this...' Songbird cried out weakly. 'You're not a killer. Please...'

'Sorry, Crystal.' Maddie shook her head determinedly. 'I'm the only one that can finish this...'

Killer robots, ninjas, and Avengers all looked about themselves as the building started to fall down around their ears.

'I guess it's too late to try and change Maddie's mind, huh?' Justice chuckled weakly.

'Now really isn't the time, Vance.' Firestar pointed out as she blasted her way through more robots. 'We have to get out of here before were caught underneath the debris!'

Vance just nodded simply before flying through the hoard of villains, creating an escape route. The other Avengers followed them out just in time to see the whole building collapse in on itself.

'Oh God, Maddie's still in there.' Jocasta remembered. 'She's somewhere in there underneath it all.'

Hawkeye nocked an arrow into his bow as he saw the remains of the EssexTech building begin to move.

'Look alive, people.' The team leader said. 'The battle ain't over yet...'

Hawkeye needn't have worried as Maddie slowly, but surely, levitated herself out of the remains of the building.

'Maddie. Thank God you're okay.' Tigra sighed in relief. 'We thought you were a goner then.'

'Oh ye of little faith.' Maddie shook her head.

'Where's the Mandarin?' Vince asked. 'Surely he couldn't have survived something like that, immortal or not.'

Maddie just smiled self-assuredly as she pulled the Mandarin's unconscious form out from the rubble with a telekinetic bubble.

'He certainly won't be a naughty boy any time soon.' Maddie stated with a smirk.

'Is he...?' Quicksilver asked.

'My sensors tell me that he is still breathing.' Jocasta reported. 'His breathing is weak, but he is otherwise fine.'

'And Maddie, what about you?' Hawkeye asked. 'It looked kind of hairy in there for a minute.'

'What? Did you think I was going to go Inferno on everybody's butts?' Maddie chuckled. 'Please, give me some credit. I am able to reign in my emotions you know. I'm not some crazy psycho.'

'Glad to hear it.' Hawkeye nodded. 'Now we just need to find whatever's left of Ultron.'

'Got it!' Namorita announced as she grabbed the psychotic robot's shattered skull. The Atlantean princess then knelt down and held Ultron's head in one hand. 'Alas poor Ultron, I knew him well.'

The other Avengers just groaned out loud at Namorita's bad joke.

'Nita, that was _beyond _bad.' Mayhem groaned.

'I've heard better stuff from Deadpool.' Crystal added with a wince.

Namorita stuck her tongue out childishly at her teammates.

'You guys have no taste.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Face it Tigra, You Just Hit The Jackpot**

_It's time for more feline fluff as Mayhem takes Tigra home to Canada to meet his friends. Unfortunately, an attack from the Wendigo may just make the reunion a short one._


	15. Face It Tigra, You Just Hit The Jackpot!

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 15: Face It Tigra, You Just Hit The Jackpot**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_The West Coast Avengers belong to Marvel. Mayhembelongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**R-Man's Random Fact- **_Both Dustin Hoffman and Michael Jackson have voiced characters in the Simpsons, but they used assumed names._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

It was morning in the Southern Californian home of the West Coast Avengers. Greer Grant-Nelson, aka the feline Avenger Tigra, was snuggled up in the bed that she shared with her teammate, and newfound lover, Mayhem, real name Vincent Freeman.

Tigra woke up slowly as she felt the rays of the morning sun upon her furry body. Tigra stretched languidly, as only a cat could.

_'Mmmmmmm..._' Tigra groaned reluctantly. 'Don' wanna get up...'

Even though Tigra was reluctant to get up and about, she knew that she had to get up. She was going on a trip to Canada with Vince. The Canadian mutant was visiting his friends back in the orphanage that he grew up in. Tigra was going with him. She greatly enjoyed the last time she visited the orphanage with Vince. **(1) **

Tigra swung her long, lithe, furry legs over the side of the bed and prepared herself to get ready. Vince was already up and about. Vincent Freeman was an early riser. He liked to meditate on the balcony overlooking the sea. The sounds of the waves crashing and the seagulls calling helped him to relax.

Tigra didn't want to disturb her lover, so she headed straight for the shower. Then it would be time to finish packing for the trip.

Tigra hoped that she had packed the right clothes. She couldn't just traipse about the orphanage clad in her usual tiny black bikini. There were impressionable children about. Besides, it was bound to be cold anyway. Tigra did have fur to keep her warm, but she decided that she had better pack her extra-warm clothes anyway, just to be safe...

* * *

**Quinjet Hangar Bay, later-**

Vince was carrying his cases towards the Quinjet Hangar Bay. To say that he was excited to be seeing his old friends at the orphanage was an understatement. Even though Vince had been a member of Canada's very own super-team, Alpha Flight, he had always kept in touch with his friends back at the orphanage.

Vince was about to load his bags onto the A-Wing, the Young Avengers' very own version of the Quinjet, when a cultured voice coughed behind him.

'You _do_ have permission to use that, don't you?' Kristoff, the A-Wing's creator, frowned sternly, his arms crossed over his chest.

Vince scratched the back of his neck and smiled innocently.

'I wasn't aware that I was required to ask permission.'

'Well, you do.' Kristoff pointed out. 'The A-Wing is my pride and joy. You can't just take it without permission. That's called stealing, if you hadn't realised.'

'Just what are you _doing_ here, anyway?' Vince frowned slightly. 'I thought you'd be hanging out with the others.'

Vince soon had his answer.

'Oh, Kristoff... Where are you...?' A feminine voice purred.

Kristoff cleared his throat nervously.

'Umm... This isn't what it looks like...'

'Oh, I'm sure it isn't.' Vince smirked. 'Don't worry, I won't tell anybody.'

'Won't tell what?' Scott Lang, Ant-Man, inquired as he walked into the hangar bay with Melissa Gold, Songbird, by his side. Scott's eyes widened in surprise at the state of his daughter's undress. 'Cassie...?'

'Hi, daddy...' Cassie Lang smiled embarrassedly as she gave her father a timid wave. 'What brings you here?'

Scott frowned at the sight of his daughter holding her t-shirt up to her chest.

'Melissa and I were invited to come along to Canada with Vince.' Scott answered. 'But now it seems that we'll have guests as well...'

_'Da-aaaad!_' Cassie groaned.

Scott sighed heavily. He really didn't like to be a strict kind of father, but sometimes one had to be extra-strict.

'Cassie, you're coming along with us. I want to keep an eye on you. Kristoff too.'

Cassie opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it.

'Yes daddy...'

'Good girl.' Scott nodded. The West Coast Avengers' science guy then grinned. 'Now I know that we're going to have great fun together. There's nothing better than some father-daughter bonding.'

Cassie twirled her finger in the air.

'Yippee.' She muttered sarcastically.

The group all turned as one as they heard heavy footsteps stomping into the hangar bay. It was Tigra. The feline Avenger looked quite a sight. It looked as if Tigra was wearing her entire winter wardrobe at once. She had umpteen warm, fluffy coats on. All of them zipped up right to the top. The sheer number of warm garments was causing Tigra to waddle along like a penguin with a sore foot.

'You're not really coming like that, are you?' Vince brinlked in surprise at the sight of his girlfriend.

Tigra tried to look down at herself, but only managed a faint wobble.

'Don't you think I've got enough clothes?' Tigra's muffled voice asked from the expanses of her clothes.

'I know that Canada is cold at this time of year...' Melissa piped up, scartching her head. 'But I don't think there's any need to wear _all_ of your winter wardrobe at once.'

'What?' Tigra asked innocently. 'I feel the cold. I'm more used to the balmy Californian climate.'

'Canada isn't _that _cold, Tigra.' Vince pointed out. 'Now, put all of that back in your case. We'll have to get moving soon.'

Tigra tried to say something in response, but her words were covered up by the expanses of her snuggly warm clothes. The feline Avenger let out a heavy sigh and waddled off to repack.

* * *

**The A-Wing, later-**

Vince and Tigra were sitting in the front of the A-Wing. Tigra was now dressed in something more sensible. The feline Avenger was wearing a thick blue sweater, and blue jeans. Scott and the others were sitting behind them. They were also joined by Pietro, Crystal, Luna, and Nate Grey. The Maximoff's decided to come on the trip to Canada for the same reasons as Scott. They didn't really trust Luna to be left alone with Nate. The young Inhuman may have looked like a regular sixteen year old, but at heart, she was still only eight years old. Luna's newfound teenage hormones often overwhelmed her. This happened in a variety of ways, from throwing herself at Nate like some kind of cheap telepath, to developing a dangerously short fuse. Fortunately, Luna was in a good mood. A little surly, due to the fact that she didn't want to come on the trip in the first place. But that wasn't anything unusual.

Kristoff was also sulking. The A-Wing was his baby, and he wanted to be the only one to pilot it. But seeing that he and Cassie had pretty much been caught using the A-Wing for something a little more than flying, then he had to bite back his complaints and let somebody else pilot the A-Wing.

The relative quiet of the A-Wing was shattered as a distress call came through the radio.

'This is Guardian-_krrkt_-Alpha Flight-_krrkt_-need help. Wendigo-_krrkt..._'

Then the line went dead. The Avengers, Young and otherwise, all looked at each other.

'Well, that wasn't the welcome that I was expecting.' Crystal smiled nervously. 'It looks like we'll have to cut this little vacation short, don't you think?'

'Just what is this... Wendigo thing, anyway?' Luna frowned. 'It isn't some dumb Canadian practical joke, is it?'

'Anything but.' Vince hung his head solemnly. 'The Wendigo is actually a mystical curse that causes anybody eating human flesh into a night-invincible savage beast.'

'Oh, magic.' Kristoff groaned. 'That's just lovely.'

'What is it with science guys and not liking magic?' Tigra frowned slightly. 'Reed Richards, Tony Stark. None of them like magic. Although, with Tony, there's a good reason for that. Something to do with a clown on his eighth birthday...'

'That story will have to wait, Tigra...' Vince interrupted. 'The distress call came from British Columbia. I just hope that we get there in time to save Alpha Flight...'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Wrath of the Wendigo**

_Will the West Coast Avengers arrive in time to help Alpha Flight? Tune in next time to find out..._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Tigra met Vince's friends at the orphanage in _'An Uncanny Christmas'.


	16. Wrath of the Wendigo

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 16: Wrath of the Wendigo**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**R-Man's Random Fact- **_My favourite Star Trek episode is _'Amok Time.'

* * *

**Somewhere in the Canadian wilderness-**

The Avenger's A-Wing landed amongst a sight of carnage. Alpha Flight had been pretty much decimated. The small contingent of West Coast and Young Avengers ran out of their state-of-the-art jet and went to check up on the members of the Canadian superhero team.

Luna Maximoff looked around at the carnage around her. The snow underneath her feet was covered with dark red patches where blood had been spilt.

'Are they...?'

'No.' Crystal, Luna's mother, shook her head as she looked up from the unconscious form of Guardian, the leader of Alpha Flight. 'Luckily, Guardian's mechanical exo-skeleton managed to absorb most of the Wendigo's attack.'

'We have to them all medical attention.' Scott Lang, Ant-Man, stated as he carefully picked up the unconscious form of the diminutive acrobat known as Puck. 'Their injuries are serious.'

'Far too serious to move them too much.' Tigra added as she struggled to move the unconscious Sasquatch. 'We'll have to take care of them here.'

'Good luck I have a first aid kit onboard the A-Wing.' Kristoff remembered.

'I think it'll take a little more than a few Band-Aids and anti-septic to help these guys.' Songbird replied.

'Already on it.' Quicksilver nodded before running off at top speed, soon to return with all of the necessary medical supplies. 'I suggest that we take care of those that are injured the most first.'

'Sounds like a good plan.' Tigra nodded as she went about taking care of the injured members of Alpha Flight.

Vince tapped his chin in thought. There was something weird going on here.

'Hey, where are the female members of Alpha Flight?' The Canadian mutant thought out loud. 'Where are Vindicator and Snowbird? Or Shaman for that matter. I don't see them anywhere.'

'Perhaps I can assist you in that matter...' A cultured voice offered as a Native American Canadian man dressed in a green-and-yellow uniform walked out from the cover of the trees. 'Greetings, Vincent. It has been a long time.'

'Michael!' Mayhem through his arms around his old teammate in a big manly hug. 'What happened here?'

'It was the Wendigo.' The veteran Alphan known as Shaman explained. 'Myself and the rest of Alpha Flight were called here to investigate reports of some kind of wild animal attacking campers.'

'What happened to Heather and Narya?' Mayhem asked. 'I don't see them anywhere. Are they okay?'

'The Wendigo took them away.' Shaman explained. 'I attempted to track them, but I was too weak after the initial battle to continue. By the time that I had managed to heal myself, I had lost track of the Wendigo and my teammates. And it would have been foolish of me to attempt to find the Wendigo on my own anyway.'

Mayhem looked down at Shaman's torn uniform. He had been in quite a fierce battle.

'Well, it's a good job that we intercepted Guardian's distress call when we did.' Mayhem nodded. 'We'll help you search for Heather and Narya.'

'Pietro and I are coming with you, Vince.' Tigra stepped up. 'Crystal, Scott, Melissa and the kids are going to take care of the injured.'

'The more the merrier.' Mayhem smiled. 'Lead on, Michael.'

Shaman simply nodded silently as he led the three Avengers back through the forest.

* * *

**Later-**

It didn't take the Avengers very long to find the Wendigo's whereabouts thanks to Shaman's mystical abilities. Quicksilver would have gone ahead of them and searched the surrounding area at super-speed, but it was decided that doing that would have been foolhardy. If the Wendigo could take down most of Alpha Flight with relative ease, then one sole speedster would have been no problem at all.

Shaman signalled for the three Avengers to stop.

'The Wendigo has taken refuge in that cave beyond.' Shaman told them. 'I can sense Heather and Narya's presences inside also. They are alive, but still unconscious.'

'We need a plan.' Quicksilver stated. 'It would be foolish of us to just charge in there.'

'We need a distraction.' Tigra nodded in agreement. 'Then somebody can sneak in there and rescue Vindicator and Snowbird.'

'Tigra, you and Shaman distract the Wendigo while Pietro and I run into the cave and rescue the others.' Mayhem stated. 'It should be a piece of cake with our super-speed.'

'Be careful, everybody.' Shaman warned. 'The Wendigo is no easy foe. The beast is nigh-indestructible.'

'I think you're forgetting about me, Michael.' Mayhem smirked. 'I'm no pushover myself.'

Shaman simply nodded in understanding as he began to chant something in a long-dead language. Shaman's hands began to glow with energy as he blasted the area around the cave with mystical beams.

And angry growl emanated from within the cave. It seemed that Shaman's attack had awoken the Wendigo.

The four heroes watched as a huge ape-like creature with shaggy white fur stalked out of the cave.

'_WEN-DI-GO!_' The creature roared angrily.

'Quick, while the beast is distracted!' Shaman ordered. 'Make your way inside the cave and rescue the others!'

Mayhem and Quicksilver simply nodded and rushed into the cave.

Tigra followed Shaman into the clearing. It was up to them to keep the Wendigo occupied while the others rescued Vindicator and Snowbird.

Tigra picked up a branch that has fallen off during Shaman's initial assault. The branch was partially aflame so it would make a good weapon against the Wendigo.

'Hey! Hey! Over here, you ugly Bigfoot wannabe!' Tigra yelled as she waved the flaming torch over her head. 'Hey! Fresh meat over here!'

'_WEN-DI-GO!_' The Wendigo roared as it slowly approached Tigra. Like most primitive beasts, the Wendigo was afraid of fire.

'Yeah! That's it!' Tigra yelled again. 'Come and get me! You want a piece of me? Bring it!'

'Tigra!' Shaman called. 'Be careful!'

Tigra looked up to se that she had backed against a cliff.

The feline Avenger's pause had given the Wendigo a chance for attack. The giant beast swatted the flaming torch out of Tigra's hand.

'Nertz.' Tigra growled to herself. 'Uh... Shaman? Anytime you wanna step in and help?'

Shaman simply nodded as he reached into his mystical medicine bag and pulled out a handful of dust.

'This should bind the beast until I am able to find a spell to return the creature to its human form.'

Shaman threw the mystical dust at the feet of the Wendigo, trapping the beast in a cage of magical energy.

'_WEN-DI-GO!_' The Wendigo roared angrily. It did not like being caged up one bit.

At that moment, Mayhem and quicksilver ran out of the cave with the unconscious forms of Vindicator and Snowbird in their arms.

'Mission accomplished.' Mayhem announced as he gently laid Vindicator on the ground. 'I see that the Wendigo is caged for now.'

'Now all I need to do is find a spell to return the beast to its human form.' Shaman nodded. 'Hmm, curious. It seems that heather and Narya are less injured then the others.'

'My guess is that the creature prefers female flesh to that of men.' Quicksilver surmised. 'It makes me glad that I am a vegetarian.'

* * *

**Alpha Flight HQ, later-**

Thanks to Shaman's magics, and Crystal's Inhuman healing skills, the members of Alpha Flight that had been attacked by the Wendigo were up and about in no time.

Mayhem was presently talking to Guardian, the leader of the Canadian superhero team.

'Thank God that you came here when you did, Vince.' Guardian smiled thankfully. 'There was no telling what would have happened to Heather and Narya if you weren't there to help.'

'Hey, it's all in a day's work for the World's Mightiest Heroes.' Mayhem shrugged modestly.

The pair both turned as the rest of Alpha Flight and the Avengers walked in to the room. Puck was carrying several six packs of beer

'Crystal thought that we might as well celebrate a job well done with a few beers, eh?' The diminutive Canadian grinned as he popped open a can and downed it in one.

Mayhem took a beer and smiled in thanks. He then passed the rest around to the other Avengers and Alphans.

'Here's to a successful mission.' Tigra held up her beer in a toast. 'To inter-team relationships. Let's hope that we have as much fun the next time we team-up!'

'I'll say.' Quicksilver nodded in agreement. 'Teaming up with Alpha Flight was much more enjoyable than teaming up with the X-Men. Guardian didn't try to take command of the situation, unlike a certain cyclopean X-Man that will remain nameless.'

'Pietro...' Crystal patted her husband on the shoulder. 'You're ranting again.'

'What?' The silver-haired speedster asked innocently. 'You know that I'm telling the truth. Does Cyclops try to take command whenever we team-up with the X-Men or not?'

'That's part of being an X-Man, I guess.' Guardian added. 'They've always been an arrogant bunch. Just because they have a bigger fan base. Alpha Flight isn't exactly without fans, you know?'

'What about that old team?' Luna asked. 'Y'know, with Yukon Jack, and that other female Puck?'

'There was no other Alpha Flight.' Sasquatch quickly replied. 'Now, let us never talk about this again.'

'How can you say that?' Luna continued. 'You lead the team.'

Sasquatch towered over the young Inhuman.

'There. Was. No. Other. Alpha. Flight.'

Luna backed away and smiled nervously.

'Right. Never talk about this again. Got it. Shutting up now.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Birthday Bash**

_It's Ant-Man's birthday and the West Coast Avengers plan an extra-special party for their size-changing teammate. Unfortunately, Ant-Man's ex-wife's unannounced appearance may just make the celebration a short one. Why is she there? And what does she want with Ant-Man's daughter? Tune in next time to find out._


	17. Birthday Bash

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 17: Birthday Bash**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

It was a very special day for the West Coast Avengers. It was Scott Lang's birthday! The size-changing hero known as Ant-Man was wearily walking down the stairs.

Scott frowned to himself. It was far too quiet for this time in the morning. Somebody would always be arguing about something. The ones doing the arguing were usually Clint Barton and Pietro Maximoff, also known as the archer Hawkeye, and the mutant speedster Quicksilver. The pair had a long-running feud ever since the time they first joined the Avengers. The fact that Clint was always flirting with the Scarlet Witch, Pietro's sister, didn't help matters.

Scott slowly padded into the kitchen. He needed coffee, and quick! He reached up onto the shelf where everybody's coffee mugs were kept. Each on of the Avengers had their own personalized coffee mug. Scott's was shaped like the head of an ant, complete with antennae.

Scott then noticed that there was a note tucked into his mug. He took it out and read it. He recognized his daughter's handwriting straight away.

'_Go outside to the pool._'

Scott sighed heavily and put his mug on the counter. He really wasn't in the mood for Cassie's games just now. Especially not before he had his morning coffee.

Scott trudged outside to the pool area. Nobody was there.

'It's too early for this kind of rubbish.' Scott grumbled as he ran a hand through his messed up hair.

Then he noticed another note attached to the barbeque. Scott picked it up and read it.

_'Go downstairs to the Playroom.'_

Scott scrunched up the piece of paper witha grunt, and threw it over his shoulder.

'Cassie is _so_ grounded after this.'

Scott headed back inside and stepped into the elevator that would take him to the lower levels of the Complex.

The Playroom was a hi-tech training room that the West Coast Avengers used to hone their skills, not unlike the X-Men's Danger Room.

The doors to the Playroom's Control Room swooshed open and Scott stepped inside. The whole place was empty.

'This isn't funny any more.' Scott groused. 'It's too damn early. I need my coffee.'

Scott picked up a note attached to the control panel.

_'Go to the Den.'_

'This had better be the last note.' Scott grumbled to himself as he chucked the crunched up ball of paper away and stomped back towards the elevator.

* * *

**The Den-**

The Den was a special part of the Avengers Complex set aside especially for the younger contingent of the team, quite cunningly called the Young Avengers.

The whole place had been decked out in balloons and miscellaneous other decorations. Cassie had set up the whole wild goose note chase so that Scott would be distracted enough to give them more time to finish the decorations.

'Everybody take their places.' Cassie instructed all of the gathered Avengers. 'Dad's gonna be here soon.'

'Cass, we are all familiar with the concept of a surprise party.' Tigra pointed out. 'Why, the Avengers have a long history of throwing such parties. I can remember this one time when we were getting ready for Cap's birthday...'

'Everybody get to your places!' Cassie hissed, waving the other Avengers away. 'I can hear Dad coming!'

Everybody did as they were told and hid around the Den. Scott stomped into the room. He didn't look very pleased.

'Cassie! Come out here right now, young lady! This whole note chase wasn't funny. You know how cranky I am in the mornings before I get my coffee...'

**_'SURPRISE!_**'

Scott leapt back in astonishment as everybody leapt out form their hiding places.

'Happy birthday, babe.' Melissa grinned as she laid her arms around Scott's neck and gave him celebratory kiss. 'Sorry about all that chasing around for nothing. We needed time to get the decorations just right.'

Scott knew that he should have felt angry for being led around the Complex for nothing, but he couldn't stay angry at his girlfriend. Melissa Gold just looked too darn cute when she smiled.

'You know, there really wasn't any need for you to go to all this trouble just for me.' Scott smiled shyly as he looked around at all the decorations. 'I would have been happy with a quiet dinner with friends.'

Clint stepped up and put an arm around Scott's shoulders.

'You know as much as I do that you don't _really_ feel that way, buddy.' The archer stated with a laugh. 'You like a party as much as any of us do. Well, apart from Greer. And Nita.'

'You better believe it.' Namorita smirked. 'You shoulda seen some of the parties we threw back in the New Warriors. I'm surprised that New York survived without too much damage.'

'It's a pity that Madelyne couldn't be here.' Crystal piped up. 'She used to enjoy a party as well.'

'She did say that she'd only be staying with Providence **(1) **with Cable for a little while.' Pietro reminded his wife. 'Until she has sorted herself out at least. Her break-up with Copycat was quite nasty. Coming back to the Complex may bring too many bad memories for her.'

'Maddie is a strong woman, Pietro.' Crystal pointed out. 'It isn't likely that she'll just be sitting about moping. She has Gabriel **(2) **to look after now. And Jessie **(3) **needs to be trained in her powers.'

'I'm sure Maddie'll be back in no time.' Vince added his five cents. 'She was never one to hole herself up and hide her feelings. Besides, I think she'll miss us.'

'Yeah, nobody can throw a party like the Avengers.' Tigra grinned in agreement. 'I kind of doubt that Maddie'll be able to resist coming back.'

'Can I get my coffee now?' Scott asked. 'I've been led around the Complex all for nothing and I still haven't had my daily caffeine fix.'

Melissa shook her head an chuckled at her boyfriend's insistence for coffee.

'You know, too much coffee is bad for you.' The former Thunderbolt told him as she poured some coffee into a mug. 'We don't want you getting all jittery and hyper, do we?'

'Oh, I don't know...' Cassie said. 'I think Dad is funny when he's hyper.'

'It's my birthday, remember? You're not supposed to make fun of me.' Scott frowned over his coffee.

'Oh, don't be such a grumpy guts.' Melissa tutted. 'Just get that coffee down your throat so we can get to the presents.'

* * *

**Later-**

Scott's party was in full swing inside Avengers Complex. Unknown to the West Coast branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes, a taxi cab was pulling up outside their headquarters. A woman wearing dark glasses stepped out of the cab and gathered up her bags before paying the cab driver and trudging towards the front gate.

The woman put down her bags and looked up at the foreboding-looking gates. Beyond the gates she could see the seemingly normal mansion-like beach house that the West Coast Avengers called home. There were lines of palm trees running up the sides of the path that lead up to the front door. It looked quite expensive.

The woman pressed the button on the intercom so she could be let in.

'Umm, h-hello. I-I'm here to see Scott Lang...' The woman spoke nervously into the intercom's grill. 'I-it's pretty important.'

Jocasta's mechanised voice came back.

'Please wait by the front gates and one of the Avengers will be up to see you.' The former Bride of Ultron explained.

The mystery woman fidgeted uncomfortably. She really didn't have time to wait like this. They could be watching her right now. She just wanted to get inside Avengers Complex to safety.

Thankfully, the woman didn't have long to wait as Vince and Pietro came out to meet her.

'Hello.' Vince smiled kindly. 'I hear you want to talk to Scott Lang.'

'Yes. Yes I do.' The woman nodded. 'Can-can I come in? I-I don't really feel safe out in the open.'

'Sure, come on in.' Vince nodded. 'Pie, get her bags would you?'

'Why do I have to get her bags?' The silver-haired speedster groused. 'You're the one with super-strength.'

'Can't you see that this poor woman is clearly distressed?' Vince responded. 'She really doesn't need to see us arguing over who carries her luggage. The Avengers don't work that way. Helping the helpless, and all that.'

Vince led the mystery woman towards the Complex.

'So, how do you know Scott?' Vince enquired. 'You're not a stalker, are you? We don't allow stalkers inside the Complex.'

'I-I'm not a stalker.' The woman explained. 'I-I'm Scott's ex-wife.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Ant-Man Goes Wild**

_Why has Scott's ex-wife come to Avengers Complex? What does this mean for Scott and Cassie? Tune in next time to find out..._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Providence is Cable's floating island utopia made from the remains of his old space station headquarters, Graymalkin._

**(2) **_Gabriel is de-aged Stryfe._

**(3)- **_Jessie Dillon is a young girl that has the mutant power to summon demons. Maddie took Jessie under her wing to train her in the use of her powers._


	18. AntMan Goes Wild

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 18: Ant-Man Goes Wild**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

**&&&&&**

**Avengers Complex-**

Vince and Pietro had gathered all of the West Coast Avengers together in the briefing room. Scott's ex-wife had suddenly appeared on their front door. The poor women seemed quite distraught. Even though the Avengers had been celebrating Scott's birthday, they soon dropped everything when they found out that someone was in trouble.

Scott's ex-wife was sitting at the head of the meeting table as she told the Avengers of her plight.

'This... this is a little difficult for me to explain...' Peggy gripped the glass of water that had been given to her tightly. 'I-I-I know that it's bad timing, being Scott's birthday and all, but... I didn't have anywhere to turn.'

'That's okay, Peg.' Scott patted his ex-wife's hand in comfort. 'You can tell us. We're the Avengers. Helping people is part of our job.'

Peggy took a drink from her glass and licked the moisture from her lips.

'Blake was transferred to the LAPD a few months ago...'

'Blake is the guy that mom dated after she divorced dad.' Cassie explained, the dislike evident in her voice. 'He's a cop. A jerk who happens to be totally anti-superhero too.'

Peggy continued.

'That was when it all started to go wrong... Blake got involved with the wrong people. He started to take bribes...'

Tigra let out an angry growl, making Peggy jump.

_'Rrrrrr. _I hate dirty cops.' The were-tiger growled. 'They give the rest of us a bad name.'

'Then Blake started to do jobs on the side for gangsters. Beating up informants, delivering packages of drugs, things like that...'

Peggy slowly reached up to remove her sunglasses. The Avengers all gasped in shock once they saw that Peggy was sporting two black eyes. Scott and Cassie both visibly winced.

'Aww, geez...' Scott sighed. Both he and Cassie had issues with Peggy, but neither of them would have wished this on her.

'The bastard!' Cassie punched the table in anger. 'I'll kick his ass for this!'

'Cassie, calm down.' Scott tried to calm his daughter down.

'How can you be so calm?' Cassie threw her arms up in the air. 'The son of a...'

'Mind your language.' Scott told her. 'I'm angry about this too, but we can't go off half-cocked. We can't just storm after this guy and kick the snot out of him. There are laws against that kind of thing.'

'Do you know who this guy was working for?' Hawkeye inquired. 'If we found out who Blake was working for, we'd be able to track him down easier.'

'I think the man's name was... Hammerhead.' Peggy remembered. 'He usually does his dealings out the back of the old movie theatre.'

'Excuse the stupid question...' Namorita piped up. 'But isn't Hammerhead one of Spider-Man's rogues?'

'It doesn't matter whose rogue this guy is, 'Nita.' Hawkeye told the Atlantean princess. 'Even if it's Dr Doom, Galactus, or Thanos it's our duty to fight them.'

'Don't worry...' Vince comforted the nervous Peggy. 'We're the Avengers. This is what we do.'

Hawkeye began to organise the Avengers into two separate teams.

Vince, you Pietro, Crystal, Melissa, and 'Nita stay here and look after Peggy.' The archer ordered. 'Greer, Scott and me're going after Hammerhead.'

'I'm coming with you.' Cassie began to stand up.

'No you're not, young lady.' Scott shook his head. 'This is going to be dangerous.'

'I can handle it!' Cassie retorted. 'I've beaten Sentinels, the Savage Land Mutates, the Brotherhood of Evil, and MODOK with the Young Avengers! I'm sure I can handle some lame-o with a thing for old gangster movies.'

'You're still not going.' Scott stood firm. 'You're going to stay here and look after your mother.'

Cassie just slumped down into her seat and sulked.

'It's for your own safety, sweetie.' Peggy told her daughter. 'Let your father do his job, okay?'

Cassie just grunted in response.

**&&&&&**

**Elsewhere-**

In and old abandoned movie theatre in down-town Malibu, Hammerhead was doing business. He was over-seeing a drug deal with some Russian gangsters. Blake was there too. The man had short black hair and a mousy little moustache. He was Hammerhead's hired muscle.

Hammerhead closed the suitcase before him and a broad smile spread across his face.

'This stuff is pure, right?'

'Da.' The head Russian mobster nodded. 'De purest Russian heroin. Only for you, my friend. Now, you pay us, yes?'

'Not yet.' Hammerhead shook his adamantium-plated head. 'Blake, search 'em. I wanna make sure that they ain't carryin'. And make sure they ain't got no wires neither.'

Blake did as he was told and began to search the Russians.

'They're clean, boss.'

'Pay 'em.' Hammerhead ordered his dirty cop lackey.

Blake picked up another black suitcase and handed it over to the Russians. The lead guy opened it and looked the contents over.

'This is correct amount, yes? You are not trying to screw us around?'

Hammerhead held up his hand smiled innocently.

'Do youse guys think I look like the kinda guy that'd double-cross ya?'

'I will not dignify that with answer.' The lead Russian muttered.

'Count the dough if you want.' Hammerhead suggested. 'We ain't onna tight schedule.'

One of the Russian mobsters slapped his neck.

'Ow! Something bit me!'

Another mobster swatted his neck as well.

'Me also!'

'Wasps!' The lead Russian noticed the little yellow-and-black striped insects buzzing about. 'What is meaning of this? You trying double-cross?'

'It's the middle o' summer, ya dumb schmuck!' Hammerhead retorted. 'There's loads the damn things about!'

'And the wasps aren't the only things about this time of year!' Ant-Man's miniaturised voice exclaimed.

'Sonova...!' Hammerhead growled. 'We've been rumbled! Squish 'em, boys!'

One of Hammerhead's other lackeys tried to stomp on Ant-Man, but ended up underneath a pile of flying fur and claws. It was Tigra!

One of the Russians went for his gun, but ended up having his hand pinned to the wall by a well-aimed arrow.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, bunky.' Hawkeye tutted as he joined the fight. 'This is Avengers turf, bub. You're trespassing!'

'Damn freakin' heroes!' Hammerhead growled in anger. 'This was the deal of a lifetime! You ruined it! I'm gonna squash ya flat!'

Hammerhead kicked his chair away and got ready to charge the Avengers.

'Hey, Hammerhead...' Scott called 'You like gangster movies, right? Then why don't you try this on for size? _Say hello to my little friends!_'

With that command, the wasps that had been harassing the Russians set their sights on Hammerhead.

'_Ahhh! _Get 'em off!' Hammerhead screamed in pain as he was stung by thousands of tiny stings.

Blake had seen enough of this! The cowardly ex-cop turned tail and ran towards the nearest exit. He never got that far.

Blake let out a yell of surprise as he was knocked to the floor by a furry orange blur.

'And where do you think you're going, buddy?' The were-tiger demanded. 'You weren't thinking of running off with the cash, were you?'

'Please don't hurt me...' Blake whimpered. 'I never wanted to work for Hammerhead. I'm a good guy, honest! I'm a cop!'

'A _dirty _cop.' Tigra pointed out. 'And it'll be my pleasure to say this... You're under arrest!'

Tigra spun Blake around and slammed him face-first onto the ground.

'You have the right to remain silent...' Tigra told the dirty cop as she straddled his back and slapped some handcuffs around his wrists. 'You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say will be taken down and used against you in court...'

'D'you think we should put the Capone wannabe here outta his misery?' Hawkeye asked, indicating Hammerhead cowering on the floor, still surrounded by angry wasps.

Scott turned to his insectoid friend.

'Okay, that's enough, guys. I think he's suffered enough.'

Tigra dragged the bound Blake to the group of captured Russians.

'You guys are going away for a _looong_ time.' The were-tiger told them. 'Remember not to drop the soap in the showers.'

'You cannot arrest us!' the Russian mobster sneered in disgust. 'We have expensive lawyers! They get us out of jail within week!'

'Don't make me laugh.' Tigra snorted in derision. 'The Avengers have got contacts in high places. Heck, do you know who our lawyer is? The goddamn She-Hulk! Hawkeye over there is even poker buddies with Matt Murdock. So all-in-all, you guys are up the creek without a paddle. See you in twenty, 'kay?'

**&&&&&**

**Back at the Complex-**

Once Hammerhead and the Russians had been handed over to the authorities, the trio of Avengers headed back home to the Complex. The first sight that greeted them was a rather nervous-looking Jocasta.

'Hey Jo, what's up?' Tigra asked concernedly. 'Oh God, the US Government didn't lumber us with an unwanted team member, did they?'

Jocasta just smiled nervously in response.

'That was supposed to be a joke...' Tigra chuckled meekly.

'This might not be a bad thing.' Hawkeye pointed out. 'We haven't met the guy yet. Just as long as it isn't...'

The colour drained from the archer's face once he saw the figure standing behind Jocasta.

'Aww, hell no... not him again...'

'Face it, tigers, and tigress, you just hit the jackpot!'

**TBC...**

**&&&&&**

**Next: Star-Spangled Pain in the Butt**

_Who is the unwanted team member that the Avengers have been lumbered with? Surely it can't be... I wouldn't dare... **USAgent?**_


	19. StarSpangled Pain In The Butt

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 19: Star-Spangled Pain in the Butt**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

**&&&&&**

**Avengers Complex-**

Hawkeye threw up his arms in disbelief.

'You _cannot _be serious!' The archer ranted. 'What have we done to deserve crap like this all over again? This has to be some kind of prank. Cap's screwing with us. Please God, let it be a prank.'

'This isn't a prank.' USAgent smirked cockily as he leant against the wall. 'I'm your new member. The US Government says so.'

'Ah yes, the US Government...' Pietro nodded. 'A country that prides itself on freedom of speech, just as long as it agrees with the Texan in the big white house.'

USAgent stood up straight and got in Pietro's face.

'You wanna make something of it, speedy?' USAgent poked the silver-haired speedster in the chest. 'Then take it up with the government.'

'Kindly remove your hand, before I remove it for you...' Pietro warned him, trying not to lose his temper.

USAgent just smirked at that.

'What're you gonna do about it?'

Hawkeye held his head in his hands.

'This can't be real... This... this is just a bad dream. Yeah. I'm gonna wake up any minute and everything's gonna be just fine...'

'Clint, you're the team leader...' Vince reminded him. 'Surely you have a say in who joins.'

'You really haven't been in America very long, have you?' Pietro chuckled bitterly. 'Whatever the US Government wants, it gets. Civilian liberties be damned.'

USAgent got in the speedster's face again.

'Say something like that again and I'm gonna have to kick your mutie butt back to Genosha!'

Pietro bristled at that.

'What did you say...?'

Crystal held her head in disbelief.

'Oh Pietro, don't...'

'I'm sorry, Crystal...' Pietro sighed apologetically. 'But someone must show this arrogant pig that the Avengers do not appreciate being taken advantage of.'

Tigra decided to step in and change the subject before any punches were thrown.

'So, USAgent, why are you here?'

'Because of your robot friends.' USAgent answered, indicating Jocasta and Ratchet. 'Under new government rules, they're classified as Weapons of Mass Destruction.'

'W-W-_What?_' Jocasta spluttered in disbelief. 'How could you possibly say that?'

'I'm just doing my job.' USAgent shrugged nonchalantly.

'Weapons of Mass destruction, my adamantium ass!' Jocasta snorted in derision.

'Whose ex was it that wiped out every man, woman, and child in Slorenia?' USAgent asked. 'Oh wait, it was _your _ex!'

'Ultron may have created me...' Jocasta glared at the Captain America wannabe. 'But that is where our association ends.'

'That's just find and peachy...' USAgent continued. 'But what'll happen when you get it in your tiny mechanical mind do rebuild your old buddy Ultron?'

'Jocasta has been purged of the Ultron Imperative.' Scott explained. 'We made sure of it ourselves.'

'Tiny mechanical...' Jocasta shook with rage, her hands starting to glow with unreleased energy. 'Why, you...'

'Jocasta, you must remain calm...' Ratchet put a hand on his synthezoid partner. 'Attacking USAgent will only serve to prove his comments.'

The glow from Jocasta's hands started to dissipate as she calmed down.

'I'm going outside...' The former Bride of Ultron muttered. 'I may be some time...'

USAgent stepped up in front of Jocasta, barring her way.

'Not so fast, Threepio. I haven't finished with you.'

'Oh, we're finished alright.' Jocasta retorted. 'Now, if you'll move out of my way, then i won't have to kick your butt.'

USAgent moved out of the way to let Jocasta through. The black-clad Captain America wannabe turned to the remaining Avengers.

'Things are going to work a lot differently around here from now on...'

'Whoa, back up there a sec...' Hawkeye waved his hands about. 'Just what the blue blazes are you talking about? You're _not_ the team leader!'

'The US Government says differently.' USAgent shot back.

'This isn't some petty dictatorship.' Pietro added his two cents. 'The Avengers have rules for this sort of thing. We vote for the team leader.'

'And old daddy dearest would know all about dictatorships, wouldn't he?' USAgent smirked arrogantly.

That was the last straw for Pietro...

_**POW!**_

USAgent found himself being propelled through the air by a well-aimed punch to the chin.

Namorita punched the air with a cry of victory.

'One punch! One punch!'

'That's it, mister!' The black-clad former Invader sneered as he wiped blood form his lip. 'You're off the team!'

'Oh, shut up.' Crystal snapped at him. 'You're only aggravating the situation. This team was getting on fine before you showed up.'

'You're off the team too!' USAgent retorted.

'No, I don't think so.' Crystal shook her head. 'I'm Crystalia Amaquelin Maximoff. I'm a member of the Inhuman Royal Family. So, in other words, I have diplomatic immunity. I only leave when I want to. As my husband, Pietro also has diplomatic immunity. So stick that up your shield and smoke it.'

Crystal then turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Pietro followed her.

Vince was the first to try and break the awkward silence.

'Well, that went well...'

**&&&&&**

**Later-**

The Avengers had reluctantly allowed USAgent to rejoin the team. Usual etiquette would mean that new members of the Avengers would be shown around their headquarters, but USAgent had already made an impression on all present. He was left to take the tour on his own.

USAgent stopped in the doorway to the Den, the area of Avengers Complex that was set aside for the Young Avengers. The young heroes hadn't noticed that they were being watched.

Lockjaw was the first to become aware of their guest's presence. The canine Inhuman stood up and let out a growl of warning. That in turn alerted the other Young Avengers to USAgent's presence.

'Geez, what is your problem?' Luna groused. 'Are you some kind of peeping tom, or something?'

'I'm USAgent.' The star-spangled pain in the butt introduced himself. 'I've been assigned to train you kids.'

'Screw that.' Luna sneered. The young Inhuman stood beside Lockjaw and teleported away in a flash of light.

_BLINK!_

'She's just like her father.' USAgent tutted. 'Got a bad attitude.'

**&&&&&**

**The next day-**

Tigra had seen enough of the petty bickering between USAgent, Pietro, and Clint. The were-woman had decided to sequester herself in the monitor room until it all died down.

Tigra trailed her finger over the rim of her coffee mug. It was a slow day. It seemed that the various evil-doers that the West Coast Avengers invariably found themselves fighting had decided to stay home.

Tigra leant back in her seat and stretched her back, wincing as she felt her joints groan in protest. Then a flashing light on one of the monitors caught her attention.

Tigra smiled happily once she recognized the familiar figure on the screen.

'Maddie! It's been such a long time!'

'Hello, Greer.' Madelyne Pryor nodded in response, smiling warmly. 'I'm not disturbing you, am I?'

'Not really.' Tigra shook her head. 'It's a slow day. And boy, do I really need this.'

'Unwanted new team member, huh?' Maddie surmised.

Tigra frowned at that.

'How did you...?'

'Telepath, remember?' Maddie tapped her temple.

'Right.' Tigra nodded. 'Silly me. So, what can I do you for?'

'You guys haven't given away my place on the roster, have you?' Maddie enquired.

'I'm sure we can fit you in somewhere.' Tigra chuckled. 'I doubt that USAgent will like it, but who really cares?'

'Is he really that bad?' Maddie winced in sympathy.

'Oh, like you wouldn't believe.' Tigra shook her head with a heavy sigh. 'He has no sense of humour and is all about training. Not unlike your old ex, Cyclops.'

'Oh, ha-ha, very funny.' Maddie rolled her eyes. 'So, when do you want me?'

'Whenever's good for you.' Tigra replied. 'Just try to make it soon, 'kay? USAgent is driving us all nuts.'

**TBC...**

**&&&&&**

**Next: Mission to Wakanda**

_The Man-Ape ha sjoined forces with the red Ghost and his Super-Apes. With the East Coast Avengers off in space, it is up to the West Coast Avengers to travel to Wakanda and help T'Challa out._


	20. Mission to Wakanda

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 20: Mission to Wakanda**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'Everything is better with Klingons.'_

* * *

**Wakanda-**

It was nighttime in the African nation of Wakanda. There had been reports of several attacks on villagers that lived near the edge of the jungle that dominated the country. Scouting parties consisting of some of Wakanda's most highly skilled warriors had been dispatched to investigate these rumours, but those men had disappeared without trace.

M'Tomba was part of another squad that had been sent in to investigate the disappearance of the first scouting party. The group of warriors had originally consisted of twenty men, but every single one had been claimed by the jungle. M'Tomba was the only one left.

The warrior was dressed in the traditional guard of a Wakandan warrior, which mostly consisted of a leopard skin loincloth. M'Tomba carried with him a traditional hunting spear, and a rather nasty-looking photon rifle. Wakanda was anything but a poor Third World country. Wakanda was one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world! Wakanda was most famous for it's large natural stockpiles of vibranium, a metal that rivalled adamantium for strength, thanks to its amazing ability to absorb vibrations.

M'Tomba looked around at his surroundings cautiously. Whatever had claimed his comrades had done so with hardly a sound. If it wasn't for the tense atmosphere that permeated the whole area and the sudden silence, M'Tomba wouldn't have even noticed that anybody had disappeared.

M'Tomba knelt down on the ground beside a footprint. The warrior traced his fingertips over the contours of the footprint. It wasn't human. The footprint looked like an ape had made it. But there were no apes in Wakanda that would have made a footprint that big.

M'Tomba spun around as he heard something rustling in the undergrowth nearby. The warrior aimed his photon rifle in the direction of the sound, his finger tensing on the trigger.

M'Tomba breathed a sigh of relief as a small black spider monkey dashed out of the bushes.

M'Tomba's brow creased in a frown. He was one of the most highly-trained warriors in Wakanda, nearly as great as the Black Panther himself. He shouldn't have been scared by one single monkey! But the thing that stood in front of him now, certainly made a tingle of fear run up his spine somehow.

Through a gap in the undergrowth, M'Tomba could see a large white-furred gorilla. The beast was stooped over, perhaps eating something. Then M'Tomba saw what the albino gorilla was eating: a human arm! The white fur around the gorilla's face was covered in blood!

M'Tomba clamped a hand over his mouth, stifling a cry of surprise.

The albino gorilla spun around at the sound of M'Tomba's restrained cry. The warrior took aim at the gorilla, his hands quaking in fear.

The albino gorilla charged at the quivering warrior with a roar that would chill even the most fearless hero's blood.

Nobody would come to M'Tomba's rescue on this night. It was the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest!

* * *

**Avengers Complex, the next morning-**

A yellow cab pulled up outside the gates of Avengers Complex. One of the side doors opened as a redheaded woman stepped out, followed by a teenaged girl with black hair and red highlights. The older woman paid the cab driver and carried her cases over to the gates. She pressed a button on the intercom.

'Maddie!' Crystal's tinny voice exclaimed in delight. 'It's been such a long time!'

Madelyne Pryor, former Goblin Queen, waved at the small security camera standing atop the gates.

'Hello, Crys.' Maddie spoke into the intercom. 'I hope I haven't come here at a bad time.'

'Oh, goodness no.' Crystal responded. 'You couldn't have come at a better time! Just give me a second and somebody will be up to help you with your cases.'

Maddie stood patiently as she waited for one or more of the Avengers to come outside.

'I wonder how much has changed since I left.' Maddie said to her young companion.

'Nothing _looks_ different.' Jessie Dillon, the demon-conjuring former Young Avenger shrugged. 'I just hope that they haven't given my room up.'

Maddie smiled as the gates swung open and one of her fellow Avengers came out to help her. Maddie knew the blue-skinned form of Namorita, princess of Atlantis, but she didn't know the guy dressed in black. He looked kind of like Captain America.

'Does this place look _like_ a hostel for wayward former criminals?' USAgent grumbled as he stepped in front of Maddie, barring her way.

'You'll have to excuse USAgent, Maddie.' Namorita smiled apologetically. 'He thinks he's our leader.'

'I _am_ your leader!' USAgent told the young Atlantean. 'The US Government says so!'

'Sure they do.' Namorita rolled her eyes. 'Now, why don't you do something useful, and help Maddie with her bags?'

USAgent snatched Maddie's cases away with a variety of grumbled curses.

'Well, he certainly seems nice.' Maddie quirked an eyebrow.

'Oh, you don't know the end of it...' Namorita shook her head. 'You haven't seen how this guy gets on with the others.'

'Let me guess...' Maddie smiled knowingly. 'Pietro decked him as soon as he entered the room.'

'Pretty much.' Namorita nodded. 'Anyway, how did you know?'

'Telepath, remember?' Maddie smirked, tapping her temple. 'I know all your secrets. Pietro's mind is practically screaming the fact. I could hear it from inside the cab!'

* * *

**Inside-**

No sooner had Maddie entered the Complex, then she had been ushered into the meeting room with the rest of the Avengers. Jessie had decided to join the rest of the Young Avengers down in the Den to catch up on the latets gossip, and to show them a few new tricks that Maddie had taught her.

Hawkeye was standing in front of the group as he told them what was up.

'I'm sorry we had to cut your welcome home short, Maddie...' The heroic archer apologised. 'But this is really important. There's a situation in Wakanda. King T'Challa asked us for help personally.'

'Uh, excuse my ignorance...' Tigra piped up. 'But since when did T'Challa _ever_ ask for help? Whatever happened to Wakanda being self-sufficient?'

'I guess whatever's going on is more than T'Challa can handle on his own.' Hawkeye guessed. 'With the other Avengers off in space **(1)**, it's up to us to lend a hand.'

'Life is never quiet with the West Coast Avengers.' Maddie smirked as she stood up from her chair.

'What makes you think that you're even one of us?' USAgent inquired, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

'A little thing called an Avengers ID Card.' Maddie shot back, holding up a little yellow card with her photo on it. 'My name's in the roster. If you've got a problem, take it up with Captain America! I've got his blessing.'

'Need I remind everybody of one tiny little matter?' USAgent continued. 'Namely demons invading New York! How do we know that this woman isn't going to cause another so-called 'Inferno' all over again?'

'You're not making any friends here, Walker.' Songbird tutted. _'I _managed to make one.' She grinned sweetly, laying her head on Scott Lang's shoulder.

'Mel, stop it!' The electronics expert codenamed Ant-Man halfheartedly grumbled, lightly pushing the former Thunderbolt off him.

'I don't need relationship advice from one of the Masters of Evil, thank you very much.' USAgent retorted.

'I think we'd better go before somebody gets punched out again.' Hawkeye suggested. Pietro couldn't help but smirk at the archer's comments.

'As much as I liked seeing Walker get taken down like a telepath's panties, I'd rather _not_ clean up all the teeth again.' Tigra quipped.

'Oh, this is all a big joke to you people, isn't it?' USAgent groused.

'You _are_ the joke, Walker.' Quicksilver reminded the Captain America wannabe. 'Now, are you going to stand their complaining like an old woman, or are you going to help us?'

USAgent bit back his complaints and followed the rest of the Avengers down to the Quinjet bay.

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Damn Dirty Man-Apes**

_What are the Man-Ape and the Red Ghost doing in Wakanda, and what has it got to do with the giant albino gorillas? Will the West Coast Avengers and the Black Panther be able to find out what they're up to? Tune in next time to find out..._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_The East Coast Avengers are off in space fighting Kang the Conqueror in '_The Uncanny Avengers'.


	21. Damn Dirty Man Apes: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 21: Damn Dirty Man-Apes- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Quote of the day- '**_How else am I to get you to treat me like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?'_**- Beast (X-Men: The Animated Series)**

* * *

**Wakanda-**

T'Challa, the king of the African nation known as Wakanda, stepped out of his palace as he heard the all too familiar sound of an approaching Avengers Quinjet. As always, T'Challa bodyguards, the Dora Milaje, a group of attractive female warriors, stayed close to their ruler.

The heroic monarch was in a bit of a pickle. And old enemy of his was up to his old tricks. Now, T'Challa would usually keep this to himself and try to solve the problem on his own, but this particular problem was too big for one person to solve, even if that person was the king of Wakanda and the legendary hero known as the Black Panther!

The bald king shielded his eyes from the sun's rays as he looked up at the shape of the Quinjet as it landed nearby. A hatch opened up and the West Coast Avengers disembarked from the craft.

'It's great to see you again, T'Challa.' Hawkeye nodded with a smile as he shook the king's hand. 'Been a long time, huh?'

'Oh yes, a very long time.' T'Challa nodded in response. 'I am afraid that I am unable to offer you any refreshments after your long flight. This situation needs to be remedied immediately.'

'Hey, there's always the post-victory celebration.' Tigra smirked. 'This place has to be full to bursting with local delicacies.'

'Not so fast, everybody!' USAgent butted in, making the Avengers groan. 'Do you have any idea how many international laws you people have just broken?'

'We're the guests of the king, Walker.' Quicksilver sighed heavily. 'Now, would you please do us all a favour and shut the hell up?'

Hawkeye grimaced as the pair started to argue again.

'I see that Walker hasn't changed at all.' T'Challa gave the West Coast Avengers' leader a bemused smile.

'I don't suppose you have a medicine cabinet in that palace of yours, do you?' Hawkeye pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Cuz I think I'm gonna need some aspirin before the night's done.'

* * *

**Later-**

T'Challa had changed into his Black Panther gear, and was leading the Avengers through the dense Wakandan jungle.

'My reports have led me to believe that the Man-Ape and the Red Ghost have taken refuge in one of the sacred K'Tembe temples.' The Panther explained. 'It is there that I believe that they have used their combined knowledge of science and the dark arts to engineer these white gorillas that have been killing my warriors.'

'Excuse my ignorance...' Mayhem held up his hand. 'But didn't you exile the Man-Ape upon pain of death?'

'The Man-Ape is a fool, as are all villains.' Quicksilver told the rookie hero.

'What, just like Daddy Dearest?' USAgent leered.

'Whay, you...' Quicksilver clenched his fist, ready to slug USAgent again, but Crystal put a calming hand on her impetuous husband's shoulder, preventing him from doing anything that USAgent would regret.

The Avengers stopped in their tracks once that they noticed that T'Challa had stopped. By the way that the warrior king had his head cocked, it was clear that he was listening for something.

'Panther...?' Ant-Man blinked. 'What's up?'

T'Challa held up his hand, silencing the size-changing hero.

'We are not alone.' The ebon-clad hero warned them. 'Prepare for battle.'

The Avengers all got ready for a fight. There was no telling what sort of trouble they had stumbled in to this time. Rebel soldiers, vibranium-hunting mercenaries, and hungry jungle creatures were just a few of the many dangers in Wakanda.

Several white gorillas charged out of the jungle with identical roars, each one as fearsome as the other. These gorillas were joined by an orang-utan, a silverback gorilla, and a baboon.

The orang-utan held up its paw, halting the charging white gorillas.

'Well, look what we have here, comrades.' The orang-utan stated in a thick Russian accent. 'We have caught ourselves the Avengers.'

'We ain't caught yet, you damn dirty ape!' Hawkeye retorted. 'And we sure as hell ain't gonna surrender without a fight!'

'That's unless you want to lead us to your masters.' Songbird chimed in. 'We don't want to have to hurt you.'

One of the white gorillas snorted in anger.

'Crush humans now?' The gorilla asked.

'Those things can _talk?!_' Tigra's jaw dropped.

'No, we _cannot _crush the humans!' The silverback rolled its eyes. 'Comrade Kragoff will want to see what we have found.'

'We're not going anywhere!' USAgent lashed out with his shield. '_Avengers, assemble!_'

* * *

**K'Tembe temple-**

Within the confines of one of Wakanda's many temples, the two supervillains known as the Red Ghost and the Man-Ape were up to no good. The Red Ghost, real name Ivan Kragoff, was a former Communist agent that had attempted to reach the Blue Area of the Moon with a team of apes in an attempt to be endowed with powers much akin to the Fantastic Four as they encountered cosmic radiation. Kragoff was endowed with the ability to become intangible and invisible. Peotor the orang-utan was granted with mastery over magnetism. Miklho the gorilla was given super-strength, while Igor the baboon could change his shape.

The Man-Ape, real name M'Baku, was member of one of Wakanda's minority tribes. He was one of Wakanda's greatest warriors, second only to his friend T'Challa. Disliking the way that T'Challa was modernising his country, M'Baku sought to dethrone T'Challa in ritual combat. In doing so, M'Baku stalked and killed a rare white gorilla. After bathing in the creature's blood and eating it's flesh, M'Baku was granted superhuman powers.

'What is taking so long?' Man-Ape grumbled as he paced the temple impatiently. 'Your apes should have been back with their report by now.'

'You know how apes can be, Comrade M'Baku.' Red Ghost replied. 'Perhaps they found a bunch of bananas and decided to stop for lunch.'

'You had better hope that they have not caught the Panther's attention.' Man-Ape warned his companion. 'If the Panther catche sme here, I will be put to death. Also... It is not wise to upset a man who has the strength of an ape.'

'Please, spare me your posturing.' Red Ghost snorted in derision. 'I do not scare easily.'

Man-Ape growled under his breath and slunk away. Perhaps there was some small creature he could stalk and kill. That usually cheered him up.

* * *

**Back with the Avengers-**

The West Coast Avengers were making easy work of the Red Ghost's Super-Apes and the genetically-engineered white gorillas. Even thought the Super-Apes possessed super-strength, the ability to shapeshift, and mastery over magnetism, they were no match for the World's Mightiest Heroes! The white gorillas, however, were a little more tougher.

Hawkeye nocked an electro-arrow into his bow and let it fly. One of the white gorillas roared in pain as several thousand volts of electricity coursed through its body.

Quicksilver ran circles around another white gorilla until it was dizzy and fell over. Songbird then took it upon herself to knock out the beast with a club made out of solid sound.

Mayhem grabbed two more white gorillas and knocked their heads together, knocking both of them out. He then spun around and clocked another gorilla right on the chin as it reared up behind him.

Tigra leapt through the treetops pursued by a trio of white gorillas. suddenly, the were-tiger somersaulted over the heads of the three gorillas. Unable to stop in time, the three gorillas' momentum caused them to lose their balance and fall out of the trees.

USAgent blocked an attack from one gorilla with his shield, before sweeping its feet from under it. The black-clad Captain America wannabe then followed that up by slamming the gorilla on the head with his shield, knocking it out.

Ant-Man was leading a swarm of ants in a merry chase around one gorilla's head. The creature growled angrily as it tried to swat the buzzing creatures away. Ant-Man quickly moved out of the way as Namorita stepped up to make her move. The young Atlantean sent the gorilla crashing through the trees with a nasty punch to the face.

Madelyne Pryor protected herself and Crystal from the hoard of gorillas with a telekinetic force field. Once Crystal saw an opening, the blonde Inhuman sent the gorillas toppling head over heels with a mini tornado, thanks to her elemental powers. Maddie made sure that the gorillas stayed down as she swatted at them with her telekinesis.

Thankfully, the battle had been a fierce, but short one.

Maddie rested her arm against a tree as she tried to regain her breath.

'As rewarding as that was, isn't there some kind of law against beating up endangered species like that?'

'We didn't exactly kill any of them.' Tigra looked around at the unconscious gorillas. 'Just sent them to Dreamland for a while.'

'We cannot rest of long.' T'Challa interrupted. 'We must carry onwards. There is no telling what Man-Ape and Red Ghost have planned for us now that we have defeated their apes.'

Namorita turned to whisper to Songbird.

'Gee, Panther sure knows how to put a damper on things, doesn't he?'

'Nita...' Songbird whispered back. 'The Panther has heightened senses. He can hear you.'

The blue-skinned Atlantean winced at her social faux pas.

'..._D'oh!_'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next- Damn Dirty Man-Apes: Part 2**

_The West Coast Avengers and the Black Panther continue with their fight against Man-Ape and the Red Ghost._


	22. Damn Dirty Man Apes: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 22: Damn Dirty Man-Apes- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Mayhem belongs to Agent-G._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_Gentlemen, as I said to Chancellor Metternich at the Congress of Strasbourg; pooh to you, with knobs on!'_- **Pitt the Younger (Blackadder the Third)**

* * *

**Wakanda-**

The Black Panther was still leading the West Coast Avengers through the dense Wakandan jungle on their way to one of the sacred K'Tembe temples that Man-Ape and the Red Ghost had holed themselves up in. The heroes had defeated a group of giant white gorillas that the two villains had sent against them, and they were all eager for a fight. The Black Panther especially. Nobody waltzed into his country and started to randomly kill civilians without being severely punished.

'Okay, I hate to ask a stupid question...' Mayhem piped up. 'But why don't we just fly the Quinjet over to the temple? It would be a lot faster.'

'We do not know whether the Man-Ape and the Red Ghost have erected aerial defences around the temple.' The Black Panther explained. 'I cannot risk crashing in the jungle. There are predators all over this jungle that would be perfectly willing to take advantage of a crashed aircraft and the people within.'

'I just wish that brought some decent footwear.' Tigra complained as she picked leaves and general jungle muck out of the fur around her feet. 'I can see it now, I'm gonna find muck in-between my toenails for weeks.'

'Buying decent shoes can never be easy when you have clawed feet.' Crystal chipped in. 'My cousin Gorgon has the same problem... except his feet are cloven, not clawed.'

The Black Panther held up his hand, signalling that everybody should be quiet.

'We have almost reached the sacred K'Tembe temple.' The king of Wakanda announced. 'We must approach with caution.'

'I've got a plan...' Hawkeye smirked as he motioned for everybody to huddle together. 'We're gonna split up into two teams. Tigra, Crystal, Songbird, Maddie, and 'Nita are with me...'

* * *

**Inside the temple-**

The Russian super-villain known as the Red Ghost turned from one of his machines when he heard the heavy footsteps of one of his genetically-engineered white gorillas approach.

'Why have you there, comrade?' Red Ghost wondered out loud as he saw an unconscious figure slung on the gorilla's shoulder. 'Wait... is that one of the Avengers?'

'Arrow Man!' The gorilla answered as it dumped the seemingly unconscious Hawkeye on the floor of the lab. 'Found outside. Sleeping.'

'Hmm...' Red Ghost tapped his chin in thought. 'Hmm, it cannot be _that_ easy. There must be more to it than that. The Avengers are not the types to be caught off-guard like this.'

The Red Ghost looked up when he saw some more white gorillas bring in more unconscious Avengers. Soon, Tigra, Crystal, Songbird, Madelyne Pryor, and Namorita had all joined their leader on the floor.

'Heh. This is quite a turn up for the books.' Red Ghost chuckled. 'Several of the World's Greatest Heroes captured at my mercy.'

_'Rrraaaaaghhh!!_'

The Russian ex-Communist agent spun around when he heard a yell of pain that sounded suspiciously like Man-Ape.

'Comrade M'Baku? Is that you?' Red Ghost's jaw dropped just as his gorilla pelt-wearing ally came stumbling into the lab. Man-Ape seemed to be covered in ants!

'Get them off me!' Man-Ape bellowed as he tried to swat the insects away. 'Get them off!'

Then, just at that precise moment, Hawkeye and the rest of the captured Avengers sat up. They were faking all along!

'Wow. That was one of the _stupidest_ plans that I've ever seen...' Maddie pointed out matter-of-factly as she got up to her feet. 'It's almost as dumb as my idea to have demons invade New York... but by God, it worked!'

'Curses!' Red Ghost snarled in anger. 'It was a trick all along! I knew it!'

'I still say we should have charged in and started stepping on necks.' USAgent sniffed as he, Ant-Man, Quicksilver, and Mayhem returned to their normal sizes. While Hawkeye's group allowed themselves to be captured, Ant-Man shrunk the remaining Avengers and snuck into the temple astride ants.

'Yes, we all know how _your _plans go, Walker.' Quicksilver rolled his eyes. 'You are not with the Invaders any more. We use finesse in the Avengers, not brute strength and suicide runs.'

As if to prove his point, the silver-haired speedster ran up beside Red Ghost and snatched away the gun that the villain was planning to use.

'See?' Quicksilver smirked as he threw the gun away. 'Finesse.'

'Are you former Brotherhood-types _always_ so damn arrogant?' USAgent grumbled as he threw his shield at one of the attacking gorillas, knocking it out. 'Or is it just you?'

'It's just him.' Tigra replied jokingly as she somersaulted over the black-clad Avenger and kicked another white gorilla in the face. 'Pie's always been kinda arrogant. Goes with the territory of being a speedster, I guess.'

'I hear that that Northstar guy is the same.' Namorita chipped in as she picked up one white gorilla and threw it at another group, knocking them down like skittles. 'It must be a speedster thing.'

'My mind and body much faster than average.' Pietro explained as he ran around the gorillas in a distraction tactic. 'To me, the rest of the world is very slow, and I have to constantly wait for it to play 'catch-up'. It can be infuriating at times.'

Nearby, Mayhem simply allowed one of the white gorillas to pummel his chest. It wasn't as if the beast could hurt him. The Canadian mutant was invulnerable, after all.

'_Rrrahh! _Crush you!' The gorilla bellowed as it continued to pummel the Canadian's chest. 'Crush you good!'

'Looks like you're getting a little tired there, Kong.' Mayhem pointed out. 'Why don't you take a nap?'

The gorilla let out a slight grunt as Mayhem karate chopped its neck, knocking it out cold.

Nearby, Crystal, Songbird, Maddie, and Ant-Man were taking on yet more of the white gorillas.

'Wait... wasn't T'Challa with you?' Crystal noticed as she took out two of the gorillas with a gust of wind. 'Where's he gone?'

'I'm betting that he's gone after Man-Ape.' Songbird suggested as she flattened more gorillas with a mallet made out of solid sound. 'They are arch-nemeses, after all.'

* * *

**Nearby-**

Man-Ape had finally managed to shake off the hoard of ants that had swarmed all over him. The villain had decided that discretion was the better part of valour and made a hasty retreat.

'Where are you going, M'Baku?' T'Challa's voice came from the darkness. 'Do you not wish to do battle? Do you not wish to test your might against mine once more?'

'I am always ready to fight you, T'Challa.' Man-Ape growled. 'Show yourself!'

T'Challa dropped down from the ceiling to land in front of his foe.

'Better.' Man-Ape laughed. 'Now I can look you in the eye while I tear you limb from li-**_Aaaarghh!!_**'

Man-Ape let out a fearsome yell of pain and started to convulse as blue arcs of electricity coursed over his body, lighting up the murky temple corridor. The villain let out one last grunt before he fell flat on his face.

T'Challa looked to see Hawkeye standing in the doorway, his bow in his hands, and an electro-shock arrow sticking in Man-Ape's back.

'Sorry about that, T'Challa.' Hawkeye apologised as he put his bow away. 'I woulda loved to see you eke out some kingly justice, but by the way the fight's shaking the walls, I doubt this temple'll be able to stay standing any longer.'

'You are correct, my friend.' T'Challa nodded as streams of dust started to fall from the ceiling. 'We must gather up the villains and depart with haste.'

* * *

**The Royal Palace, later-**

The Avengers had gathered up the defeated villains and made their way out of the temple before the whole place fell apart around their ears. A restraining collar had been put around Red Ghost's neck to prevent him from using his powers. The Super Apes had the same treatment. They, along with Man-Ape, were safely in custody.

To show his thanks, T'Challa had thrown a banquet for the successful Avengers.

'I knew the parties in Wakanda would be the best!' Tigra laughed as she tossed a grape into her mouth. 'I'd love to stay here, but we've got stuff to take care of back in Malibu.'

'And I doubt that Pietro would want to leave Luna alone in the Complex with Nate.' Scott Lang chuckled as he sipped on his wine. 'Isn't that right, Pie?'

'And I suppose you would be willing to leave your daughter alone with boys in the house, would you?' Pietro chuckled himself.

'Let's just enjoy the party, shall we?' Melissa asked, chipping in before a fight could start.

'Oh, leave the boys alone, Mel.' Maddie laughed. 'I think it's so much fun when they fight. Why, the next time Walker picks a fight with Pietro, there could be massage oil involved.'

The former Thunderbolt just gawked at the redhead, while Pietro and Walker just looked at her as if she had grown an extra head. Maddie winced at what she had just said.

'I was channelling the Hellfire Club again, wasn't I?'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Skull and Bones**

_The Red Skull returns to wreak powerful vengeance upon USAgent. With only Madelyne Pryor by his side, will USAgent be able to win the day? Tune in next time to find out!_


	23. Skull and Bones: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 23: Skull and Bones- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

John Walker, the black-clad shield-swinging Avenger known as USAgent was walking through the lower levels of Avengers Complex, the headquarters of the West Coast branch of the Avengers. The blonde-haired former Avengers was clad in his civilian clothes. Walker wasn't in the best of moods. He had just had another argument with Quicksilver. The silver-haired speedster had made his feelings about Walker very clear right from the start. It didn't help that Walker was always comparing Pietro to his super villain father, Magneto, either.

'I need to get the hell away from this place.' Walker grumbled to himself. 'Or I'm gonna end up kicking that damn speedster's backside. The arrogant sumbitch needs a lesson in humility.'

Walker walked in to the underground car park that held the various vehicles that his fellow Avengers used to get around when they weren't in their work clothes. Walker was about to hop on to his motorbike when he heard a car pull up nearby

_Beep! Beep!_

Walker turned around at the sound of the car horn. Madelyne Pryor was sitting in her bright red convertible Corvette. Baby Gabriel was nestled safely in his baby seat.

'Hey Walker, want a lift?' Maddie offered with a smile.

'You don't have to pretend to be nice to me.' Walker sighed. 'I know that you guys don't like me.'

'I've only just rejoined the team.' Maddie pointed out. 'It's too soon for me to make snap judgements about you. Why don't we get to know about each other with a trip down town? Time away from this place will do you good.'

'You just need somebody to carry your bags, don't you?' Walker sighed.

'Well, there's that too.' Maddie admitted. 'So, what do you say? Wanna join me for a drive?'

'Haven't got anything better to do.' Walker shrugged as he hopped off his motorbike and joined Maddie.

Maddie revved the engine and drove up out of the underground parking complex.

'Pietro doesn't mean to be such a jerk to you.' Maddie told her companion. 'All speedsters are like that. I guess being super-fast turns you into a jerk. Crystal once told me that his powers cause him to perceive things much differently than other people, and it constantly frustrates him. She said for Pietro, the world is like one of those supermarket lines that never go forward.'

'I don't help my cause by going on about his father all the time, I suppose.' Walker admitted. 'But the guy makes it so hard for people to like him.'

'Just give it some time.' Maddie advised. 'Then you'll get along. Don't expect it to happen straight away, mind. Pietro can be a stubborn ass sometimes.'

Unknown to the two Avengers, somebody as watching them from high atop a roof nearby. The person was a redheaded woman dressed in a black-and-red leather bodysuit. The woman spoke into a walky-talky.

'This is Sin calling Bones. I have located the target. He is approaching your location. He has company, however. The Pryor woman and a child.'

'Leave them to me.' A gruff male voice responded. 'You never know. The boss might have some use for the woman and the kid.'

* * *

**Downtown Malibu-**

Walker and Maddie had finished shopping and had decided to have a rest and a cup of coffee in a sidewalk café somewhere.

'I guess what my problem is that I'm always being compared to Captain America.' Walker told his redheaded companion. 'It kind of gets me down, you know? So what if I wore the suit for a while? I'm my own man, right? Why don't I get the same respect that he does?'

'Well, you don't make it easy for people to like you.' Maddie told him. 'You might want to start by getting rid of that chip on your shoulder, then people might actually start to like you. I got over being compared to Jean Grey all the time.'

'I'll bet looking exactly like her didn't help.' Walker surmised. Maddie sadly put down her cup.

'That was the only reason Scott Summers fell in love with me.' Maddie sighed. 'It wasn't because I had a life of my own, it was just because of the fact that I was the spitting image of his lost love. Then the jerk went and left me as soon as Jean came back. And we all know what happened then.'

'Demonic invasion of New York.' Walker nodded in understanding.

'Well, there were other factors adding up to that... mainly finding out that Sinister only created me to give birth to Cyclops's kids so he could use them for his sick experiments.' Maddie pointed out. 'But, yeah, that was pretty much it.'

Walker opened his mouth to say something, but stopped once he heard something approaching.

'Do you hear that?' Walker asked, frowning in suspicion. Maddie cocked her head to get a better sense of whatever Walker was hearing.

_WHUP-WHUP-WHUP!_

'It sounds like a military helicopter.' Maddie blinked. 'What is the military doing bussing downtown Malibu in a helicopter?'

'I don't think it's the military…' Walker pointed out. 'Look!'

Maddie looked to see where her companion had indicated. The helicopter was heading towards them. Sitting in the pilot's seat was a large man wearing a black-and-white skull mask.

'Who the hell is that?' Maddie asked.

'Brock Rumlow.' Walker told her. 'Otherwise known as Crossbones. He's a mercenary. A gun-for-hire. He usually works for the Red Skull.'

'I doubt that I need to ask why he's after us.' Maddie frowned as she moved to protect Baby Gabriel. 'You did bring your shield, didn't you?'

'I left it in the car.' Walker cursed himself for being so careless. 'I didn't think that we'd need it. So much for my judgement skills.'

Crossbones opened fire on the two Avengers with the helicopter's machine guns. The barrage of bullets tore through the café like it was tissue paper. It seemed that Crossbones didn't care whether he took out innocent civilians in his onslaught or not.

'We have to stop this psycho!' Maddie growled as she sought cover behind an upturned table and tried to soothe a wailing Gabriel.

'I'm open to suggestions.' Walker responded. 'I can't risk stepping out without my shield.'

'I thought you Sentinel of Liberty-types weren't afraid of anything.' Maddie frowned.

'I'm not scared, I'm just being cautious.' Walker pointed out. 'We'd better do something fast, because this table can't withstand much more gunfire.'

'Well, I'm going to do something, even if you're not.' Maddie grumbled as she stood up from behind the table. 'I'm going to show this bastard that you don't mess with Madelyne Pryor!'

Crossbones concentrated his fire on the redhead, but found that the barrage of bullets bounced straight off her telekinetic shield.

'Heh. Looks like I'll have to bring out the big guns!' The skull-masked mercenary smirked as he went to activate the helicopter's rocket launcher. Unfortunately for him, Maddie was ready to use her telekinesis to knock the helicopter out of the sky. Crossbones bailed out just in time as the helicopter crashed to the ground and exploded in a great big fireball. Maddie was on him before the villain could even recover.

'You'll have to excuse me if I take it personally when people attach me with great big helicopters.' Maddie said as she used her telekinesis to lift Crossbones off his feet.

'This is a new trick I learnt during my time off…' Maddie explained as she tightened the grip of her telekinesis around Crossbones's throat. 'I took inspiration from Darth Vader.'

Unfortunately for Maddie, crossbones wasn't alone. The mercenary had somebody to watch his back.

_**BLAM!**_

A sniper's bullet tore through Maddie's right shoulder, making her lose her grip on her foe. Crossbones looked up and gave his saviour a nod.

'Good shooting, Sin.' Crossbones smirked underneath his mask. 'I take it that you've already taken care of Walker?'

'Damn! I knew there was something I'd forgotten!' Sin hissed as she took aim again.

_**BLAM!**_

'Taken care of.' The evil redhead smiled as she put her sniper rifle away and took out her walky-talky. 'This is Sin calling the Red Skull. We have successfully engaged the primary target. However, he wasn't alone. What do you want us to do with the mutant woman and the child?'

'Excellent work, my dear daughter.' The Red Skull chuckled over the walky-talky. 'Bring them all back with you. I may have some use for them.'

'You heard the boss, Bones.' Sin told her companion. 'Bag them all up, we're heading home!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Skull and Bones- Part 2**

_Will USAgent and Maddie be able to escape the clutches of the Red Skull and his lackeys? Tune in next time to find out…_


	24. Skull and Bones: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 24: Skull and Bones- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Somewhere in Southern California-**

In a top secret ex-military bunker somewhere in Southern California, two members of the West Coast branch of the Avengers were being held captive. USAgent and Madelyne Pryor had been attacked by Crossbones and Sin, a pair of mercenaries. The pair of villains had brought the two heroes to a long-forgotten bunker that was once used by the United States military. Unfortunately for the two Avengers, the bunker's present occupant wasn't even remotely related to the military. The Red Skull just wanted to torture his enemies a bit before continuing on with his latest nefarious scheme.

Two soldiers pottered about in one of the cells as they prepared some rather nasty-looking instruments for their leader. The instruments in question were some ancient Japanese daggers that the Red Skull had picked up on his travels.

One of the soldiers picked up a dagger and turned it over in his hand.

'Wow. How much do you think these things cost the boss?' The soldier asked.

'What makes you think that he actually paid money for them?' The other soldier shrugged. 'He most probably killed whoever owned the daggers and took them for himself.'

The first soldier looked at his watch and took out a hypodermic needle from a pouch in his belt.

'It's time to give our guest some more of her medicine.' The soldier smirked as he stepped up to Maddie. 'Y'know, it's a pity that the boss wants her dead. We didn't even get to have any fun with her yet.'

'You're sick, man.' The second shook his head with a laugh. 'Just give her the injection already.'

The first soldier stepped up in front of the machine that held Maddie and moved her head over to one side so he could find a good spot to stick the needle.

'It's a royal shame that we're gonna have to ruin such a pretty face.' The soldier shook his head.

'I'm glad you think so.' Maddie grinned as she opened her eyes. The soldier jumped back with a yell of surprise and dropped the hypodermic needle. The second soldier went to grab his gun but ended up getting tossed across the room for his trouble.

'Surprised to see me awake so soon?' Maddie smirked as she telekinetically freed herself. 'I guess that stuff you kept on injecting me with wasn't strong enough, was it?'

The first soldier scrambled to grab the hypodermic needle, but Maddie used her powers to snatch it up off the ground. The soldier started to back away as the needle turned in midair with its business end pointing towards him.

'Not so tough when I'm conscious, are you?' The red-haired mutant tutted as he levitated herself in front of the cowering soldier. 'You know, I think we should see what would happen if I gave you a full dose of this stuff…'

The soldier screamed in pain as Maddie rammed the hypodermic needle into his heart and injected him with a full dose of knockout serum.

'Think yourself lucky…' Maddie told the soldier. 'Your death is painless. Which is more than I can say for the Red Skull when I get my hands on him…'

She levitated across the room before stopping right in front of the door.

'Oh, that's right…' The redhead snapped her fingers as she remembered something.

'I hope you didn't think that I'd forgotten about you.' Maddie grinned as she turned to the second soldier, who had just regained consciousness. 'It seems such a pity to waste these pretty daggers, doesn't it?'

The second soldier whimpered in fear as Maddie used her telekinesis to grab one of the daggers up off the bench.

'You're lucky that I'm in such a good mood.' Maddie sighed as she plunged the dagger into the soldier's chest. 'Or I would have made sure that you actually lasted some time.'

The redhead shook her head as she telekinetically tore the cell's door off its hinges.

'Hunh. Listen to me, talking to dead people. I'm like that kid off the Sixth Sense.'

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

In another cell somewhere else in the bunker, USAgent was being seen to by the Red Skull. The black-clad hero had electrodes stuck to his chest that were connected to a machine that the Red Skull was using to electrocute him.

The former Invader yelled out in pain as several thousand volts shot through his body.

'Hmm, you are quite the stubborn opponent, Mr Walker.' The Red Skull smirked as he waited for the machine to recharge. 'I dare say that we shall be here for the duration.'

'Why are you doing this, Skull?' Walker growled at his captor. 'This isn't another one of your lame attempts at taking over the world, is it?'

'Oh, no.' The Red Skull shook his head. 'It's nothing like that. This is just a little bit of fun.'

'You're sick!' Walker spat angrily. 'Just wait until I get free. I'll…'

Walker was cut off as the machine he was connected to sent another jolt of electricity coursing through his body. The Red Skull sniffed the air and smiled contentedly.

'Mmm, smells like barbeque.' The villain laughed. 'And here I am without the dip.'

'You're insane!' Walker sneered, looking the Red Skull right in the eye.

'Oh, put another record on.' The scarlet-faced villain rolled his eyes. 'You really are tiresome sometimes, Walker.'

The Red Skull went to give Walker another dose of electricity when he heard the sound of gunfire coming from outside the cell.

'Oh, you're in trouble now…' Walker snickered. 'By the sound of that, I'd bet that Maddie's free. If there's anything that my time as USAgent has taught me, it's _never_ to piss off a redhead. Especially if the redhead is a telepath and a telekinetic.'

The door to the cell was blasted inwards as Madelyne Pryor strode into the room.

'How are you doing, Walker?' Maddie asked her teammate.

'Oh, can't complain.' Walker shrugged as the telepath walked up to him.

'Mutant witch!' The Red Skull snarled as he lunged at Maddie with a wrench. The mutant redhead barely batted an eyelid as she telekinetically tossed the villain aside and set about freeing Walker.

'I don't suppose he told you where he was keeping Gabriel, did he?' Maddie asked, indicating the unconscious Red Skull with a nod of her head.

'Not as I recall.' Walker shook his head. 'The Skull was mostly boasting how he was going to make me cry like a little girlie-man.'

'Here, I believe you can use this…' Maddie told the black-clad hero as she passed Walker a thin circular metal plate. 'This should make up for your shield.'

'You didn't happen to take any guns or anything did you?' Walker asked as he took the plate from Maddie.

'I thought you didn't use guns.' Maddie stated. Walker just shrugged at that.

'They make me feel so manly.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Skull and Bones- Part 3**

_Maddie and Walker tear up the Red Skull's secret hideaway as they search for Baby Gabriel._


	25. Skull and Bones: Part 3

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 25: Skull and Bones- Part 3**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**The Red Skull's Southern California Bunker-**

The two mercenaries known as Crossbones and Sin looked around at the chaos that had been wrought in the Red Skull's subterranean bunker. There were bodies strewn everywhere and fires all over the place.

'I knew we should have killed Walker and that mutant witch as soon as we got the chance.' Crossbones grumbled as he stepped over one of the fallen soldiers.

'Well, you know how much my father likes to play with his prey.' Sin shrugged as she knelt down and confiscated one of the dead soldier's guns. 'I just hope that they didn't kill him.'

'I thought you hated your father.' Crossbones stated.

'Oh, I hate him.' Sin shrugged. 'I just want to be the one that kills him, not some do-gooding Super Soldier wannabe and his mutant whore.'

'Me, I just go wherever the money is.' Crossbones responded. 'As long as the pay's good, I do whatever's needed of me.'

The pair turned around when they heard the sound of somebody approaching them. It was the Red Skull. The psychotic Nazi was battered and bloody. He was leaning against the wall to keep himself upright.

'_Please_ tell me that you managed to kill Walker and the mutant.' The Red Skull told his lackeys. 'I hope I'm not expecting too much of you to accomplish that single little task.'

'Once we heard all the commotion, we wanted to come and see if you were alright.' Crossbones explained. 'I won't be able to get my money if the guy paying me ends up dead, will I?'

'Your concern astounds me.' The Red Skull glared at his skull-masked employee. 'And Sin, I dare say that you were not concerned for my welfare.'

'Whatever gave you that idea, father?' Sin smiled with faux sweetness. 'I am nothing but loyal towards you.'

'We have to get outta here.' Crossbones advised them. 'There's no telling what sort of damage that mutant witch did to the bunker.'

'Yes, you're correct.' The Red Skull nodded in agreement. 'Hopefully, the amount of cannon fodder that I employ would have slowed them down enough so that we can catch up with them.'

The Red Skull took one of the dead soldier's guns and led Crossbones and Sin away in search of Walker and Madelyne Pryor.

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Not too far away from the Red Skull's position, Walker and Maddie were fighting their way through a veritable army of soldiers in an attempt to find a way out of the subterranean complex. Walker had long since run out of ammunition for the assault rifle that he had taken from one of the dead soldiers, so he was using it as a makeshift club.

'How much further do we have to go?' Walker asked as he blocked enemy gunfire with his makeshift shield. 'I'm not sure whether this shield will be able to take much more.'

'Then why don't you come and join me in my telekinetic bubble?' Maddie offered as she cradled little Gabriel close.

'You know I prefer to look after myself.' Walker answered as he smashed a hapless soldier in the head with the butt of his gun. 'I was brought up to rely on myself.'

'Fine, be that way.' Maddie shrugged as he held out a hand and tore a door off its hinges. The redheaded mutant tossed the door over her shoulder, flattening several guards behind her.

'Not that I don't appreciate your help or anything…' Walker said. 'But… don't you think you should take it a little bit easier? Everybody knows the stories about what happens when Jean Grey loses control.'

'Oh, _please!_' Maddie snorted in derision at the merest idea that she was being compared with the famous X-Man. 'I've got more willpower in my whole body than that home wrecker has in her little finger. And I don't need to die all the time to prove it.'

Walker decided that it would be a good idea not to mention Jean Grey until they had escaped the bunker, and Maddie was in a better mood.

'How's Gabriel getting on?' Walker asked in an attempt to change the subject. 'It's not very often that a little kid like him ends up in a war zone.'

'Well, considering that back when he was Stryfe, war was the only thing he knew.' The redheaded mutant shrugged.

'Wait a minute…' Walker blinked in surprise. 'You mean that the little sleeping baby you're holding used to be a mutant terrorist? What happened?'

'Oh, it's a long and complicated story.' Maddie waved it off. 'I'll explain it to you if and when we get out of this mess.'

'And yet, I doubt that will ever happen…' An arrogant German-accented voice laughed behind them.

Walker and Maddie both spun around to see the Red Skull standing there pointing an assault rifle at them. Crossbones and Sin were standing either side of him.

'Give it up, Skull.' Walker told the villain. 'You've lost. Most of your soldiers are either dead or dying. Well, those that haven't seen sense and run off while they had the chance.'

'I don't need soldiers to do what I am about to do to you.' The Red Skull snarled as he slowly approached the two Avengers. 'All it will take is one quick bullet to the head. I am through messing around.'

'I think you're forgetting one thing…' Maddie chipped in. 'I'm telekinetic. I can stop the bullet before it even leaves the barrel of your gun.'

'I'd like to see you try, mutie.' Crossbones retorted as he pointed his own gun at the redhead.

'And what are you going to do about it, Flatscan?' Maddie shot back before turning to Walker with an apologetic smile. 'No offence.'

'None taken.' Walker nodded in response.

'Enough talking!' Sin growled angrily as she brought her own gun to bear. 'I am going to end this once and for… _**Gkt!**_'

The redheaded mercenary's words were cut short as a yellow gloved hand phased out through her chest.

'What the hell?' Crossbones yelled as he turned to regard the ghostly green-and-yellow figure. 'The Vision!?'

'I am afraid that I am not alone.' The synthezoid stated. 'Madelyne Pryor, John Walker, I would advise you to stand back.'

Maddie and Walker did as they were told and stepped back just as the bunker's ceiling caved in right on top of Crossbones and the Red Skull. Once the dust cleared the two Avengers saw two figures step forward. One was an green-skinned alien that was dressed like Thor and had what looked like a horse's skull for a head. The other figure was a woman dressed in a red-and-yellow outfit with shoulder-length black hair.

'Vision? Beta Ray Bill? Spider-Woman?' Walker spluttered in surprise and shock. 'What the hell are you doing here?' Spider-Woman was the one that stepped forward to explain.'

'We're your new teammates.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Out With The Old, In With The New**

_If the Vision, Beta Ray Bill, and Spider-Woman are new members of the West Coast Avengers, then who are they replacing?_


	26. Out With The Old, In With The New

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 26- Out With the Old, In With The New**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

Madelyne Pryor and USAgent had quickly changed into some clean clothes once they had returned to Avengers Complex with the other three heroes that had come to their rescue. Beta Ray Bill, Spider-Woman, and the Vision claimed to be their new teammates. If they were new members of the Avengers, then who would they be replacing?

'Okay, who's the wiseass that went over my head?' USAgent demanded to know as he stormed into the briefing room. He stopped in his tracks once he saw the redheaded man with glasses standing in front of the other West Coast Avengers. 'Gyrich?'

'It's a pleasure to meet you again, Walker.' Henry Peter Gyrich, the East Coast Avengers' former government liaison responded with hardly any emotion at all. 'Now, can we get down to work? There's a lot of things to go through.'

'I for one would like to know why he's here.' Maddie added with a scowl. 'And why the hell have we got three new members?'

'Sit down and I'll tell you all about it.' Gyrich sighed. He was starting to tire of his new assignment already. Maddie and Walker did as they were told and took a seat with the others.

'Geez Maddie, what happened to you?' Tigra grimaced as she looked at all the scratches on her friend's arms.

'Long story, Greer.' The redheaded clone told her feline teammate. 'But to cut it short, we got kidnapped by the Red Skull. Wackiness ensued.'

'Where's the Red Skull now?' Ant-Man asked. 'He didn't get away, did he?'

'The Red Skull is presently on route to the Raft.' Vision told the size-changing hero. 'Along with his associates Crossbones and Sin.'

'Yeah, cuz you know that they'll be staying there for a long time.' Hawkeye snorted in derision. 'That place is worse for super villain escapes than the Vault was. I bet ya ten bucks that they end up escaping within a week.'

'I'll match your ten dollars, Barton.' Quicksilver agreed. 'The Red Skull and his lackeys would have found more resistance escaping a soggy paper bag than they would in the Raft.'

'Pietro, stop that!' Crystal admonished her husband. 'Let Mr Gyrich speak. The sooner he says what he has to, the sooner we can carry on with our business.'

'Thank you, Crystal.' Gyrich nodded in response as he got ready to finally start the briefing. 'Now for those of you that don't know me, I'm Henry Peter Gyrich. I'm your new government liaison.'

'Yeah, cuz you were so popular the first time.' Hawkeye muttered to himself. The archer was present the first time that Gyrich had been the east Coast Avengers' government liaison. The man had enforced strict rules regarding membership and the like. Gyrich had forced the Falcon upon the team, against the hero's will.

Gyrich ignored Hawkeye's comments and continued with what he had to say.

'Several members of the team have been called away on other business.' Gyrich explained. 'Songbird is to lead a new team of Thunderbolts.'

'They've lumbered me with a bunch of psychotic villains.' Songbird sighed heavily. 'I'm sorry, Scott. They wouldn't let me say no.'

Scott Lang just smiled weakly.

'Well, it was only a matter of time before the US Government tried to mess with us again.' The heroic scientist sighed. 'I'll miss you, Mel.'

'Me too, sweetie.' Songbird patted her lover's hand gently.

'Namorita's been called back to Atlantis.' Gyrich carried on. 'Something to do with Attuma getting antsy.'

'Sorry, Clint.' Namorita smiled apologetically. 'Royal business. You know how stubborn my cousin can be.'

'And finally, Mayhem's stint with the West Coast Avengers is at an end. The Canadian government wants him back.'

'Isn't there some way you can make them change their mind?' Mayhem asked. 'People have made relationships here, you know.'

'I don't make the rules, Mr Freeman.' Gyrich shrugged. 'I'm just telling you what the Canadians told me.'

'You don't care at all, do you?' Tigra growled, getting in Gyrich's face. 'You're not interested in the fact that you're breaking up loved ones or anything!'

'Greer, perhaps you'd better calm down…' Spider-Woman suggested. 'We're your friends.'

'Bull-crap!' Tigra sneered, pointing an accusatory clawed finger at the heroine. 'You're just a government flunky! How do we even know that you're working for the good guys? You used to be an agent of HYDRA!'

'I am here just because I owe Gyrich a favour.' Beta Ray Bill shrugged. 'I did not intend to cause any offence. If I knew that joining this team would have upset people, I would not have done it.'

Tigra just growled something under her breath and stormed right out of the room. Beta Ray Bill made a move to follow her, but the Vision held up his hand, stopping the orange-skinned alien.

'I would let Tigra be for now.' The synthezoid told Bill. 'Greer Grant-Nelson has quite a temper. I would suggest that you let her cool off for a while.'

Bill just nodded in response and rejoined the group.

'Well, I am going to be sorry to see you three go.' Jocasta shook her head. 'You were all good friends. I will miss you.'

'We'll all miss you too, Jo.' Namorita gave the former Bride of Ultron a friendly pat on the back. 'I'll promise to write.'

'I don't know whether I'll be able to write to you.' Songbird admitted. 'One of the psychos that they've inflicted on me will most probably end up eating my letters.'

'Who have they lumbered you with any way?' Mayhem asked. 'Surely they can't be _that _bad.'

'You haven't met them yet.' Songbird grimaced. 'Carnage will most probably end up eating me, or Bullseye will end up killing me with a paperclip, or something.'

'Ooh…' Hawkeye winced. 'You're screwed, Mel.'

* * *

**The Vault-**

The Vault was a high security prison in the Santa Monica Mountains in Southern California. Back when the Vault was a prison for superhuman criminals, it had been located in Colorado. After a history of break outs, the Vault had been downsized to hold non-powered criminals and had been moved to where it stood now.

One of the inmates of this new Vault was the man known only as Hammerhead. He had been incarcerated in the vault after the West Coast Avengers had foiled a drug deal that he had going with some Russian gangsters. **(1)**

Hammerhead was sitting at a small desk in his cell reading a book about Al Capone.

'Oh, Al…' The adamantium-skulled gangster chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. 'You really used to know how to treat 'em back in those days…'

However, Hammerhead's bit of light reading was cut short as alarms started to blare all through the facility.

'What the hell…?' Hammerhead frowned as he threw his book on the floor. 'Can't a guy read a book in here?'

Hammerhead looked out of the bullet-proof window of his cell that looked out into the corridor and saw armed guards running around. Back in the old days the Vault's guards had hi-tech armour made by Tony Stark and carried to most sophisticated weaponry imaginable, but now they were just regular men with batons. They were no match for the person running amok. Not even the guards who were lucky enough to carry guns.

'Heh. Izzat all you guys've got?' The pale-skinned criminal known as Tombstone grinned as bullets ricocheted off his bullet-proof skin. 'C'mon, surely you guys can do better than that.'

'Hey, Tombstone!' Hammerhead yelled at his fellow villain. Lemmie outta here and I'll make it worth yer while.'

'S'funny you should say that…' Tombstone smirked as he threw a guard through the window of Hammerhead's cell. 'Yer the reason I came here.'

'Aww, crap.' Hammerhead grimaced. 'I knew it! It's that cockroach Jigsaw, ain't it? He's movin' in on my turf.'

'Got it in one, boss.' Tombstone nodded as he helped his new employer out the window. 'Now c'mon, I got some back-up waitin' fer us.'

Before Hammerhead could enquire to the identity of this back-up, a nearby wall exploded inwards, showering the corridor with shrapnel.

'Fer cryin' out loud, Bushwacker! Watch where yer blastin' that thing!' Tombstone admonished his associate. 'Ya coulda killed the boss.'

'Well, excuse me.' The cybernetic weapon-armed villain known as Bushwacker rolled his eyes. 'Is it my fault if I know how ta make a great entrance?'

'Just quit yer yappin' an' get me outta here!' Hammerhead retorted. 'I wanna split before the pigs get here!'

'Then yer gonna teach Jigsaw a lesson, right?' Tombstone asked. 'Teach him not ta intrude on yer turf?'

'Well, that's one a the things I'm gonna do once I get outta here, Tombstone…' Hammerhead shook his head. 'I gotta take my revenge on them damn Avengers fer catchin' me in the first place!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Hammerhead's Revenge**

_Hawkeye, Tigra, Ant-Man, Beta Ray Bill, Spider-Woman, and the Vision Vs Hammerhead, Tombstone, and Bushwacker, and Jigsaw, and the Enforcers. 'Nuff said!_

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Ant-Man, Tigra, and Hawkeye foiled Hammerhead's drug deal in Chapter 18._


	27. Hammerhead's Revenge

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 27: Hammerhead's Revenge**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_"__What do you mean, 'maybe'? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?"__**- **_**The First Doctor (Doctor Who: The Time Meddler)**

* * *

**Malibu, California-**

Callahan's was a nightclub in the coastal Californian town of Malibu that had a reputation for shady dealings. The club was rumoured to be a place of operations for an infamous crime lord known as Jigsaw. Jigsaw, real name Billy Russo, usually did business in the New York area, but had recently moved to the West Coast to fill the vacuum that had occurred since the West Coast Avengers captured Hammerhead, another infamous crime lord.

Malibu's finest were investigating reports of a shoot out at the club. Unfortunately, they had arrived too late. All of Jigsaw's men had been massacred, while the man himself had escaped.

'Who do you think did all this?' Riggs, one of the investigating officers asked, as he stepped over a dead body with a great big hole in its chest. 'It isn't another one of them metahuman gang wars, is it?'

'Geez, I hope not.' Cobretti, another officer, grimaced. 'We get too many of them over here. First it was all that business with the Mandarin, the Hand, and Ultron. Then it was Hammerhead.'

'You don't think it's Hammerhead again, do you, boss?' Riggs asked his superior officer, a raven-haired woman going by the name of Greer Grant-Nelson. What Riggs and Cobretti didn't know was the fact that their superior officer was none other than the feline Avenger known as Tigra. 'He did bust out a week ago.'

'I wouldn't put it past him, Riggs.' Greer answered, frowning thoughtfully. 'No doubt he's trying to wipe out his competition before he starts up business again.'

'Then he'd want to get revenge on the Avengers, too.' Cobretti suggested. 'Y'know, for putting him inside in the first place.'

'I'm sure the Avengers already know.' Greer told the other officers. 'They're most probably trying to bring in Hammerhead as we speak.'

* * *

**A little later-**

Once Greer and the other officers had done all they could at the crime scene, she joined the rest of the West Coast Avengers back at Avengers Complex. Hawkeye, Ant-Man, Beta Ray Bill, Spider-Woman, and the Vision had joined her in one of the Quinjets. They were on their way to try and find Jigsaw and Hammerhead. Tigra had chosen to lead the mission as she was the one investigating it in the first place, which didn't please Hawkeye all that much. He was all for equal rights, but he would have preferred it if she had asked him first before taking control. After all, Cap asked _him _to lead the team when it was first formed, knowing Hawkeye was good for the job.

'Greer, would you care to tell us where we're going?' Hawkeye sighed as he turned from the Quinjet's controls. 'You know, just so that we all know what we're doing here. I don't want to blunder into a fight without knowing what we're going up against.'

'There's a warehouse that Hammerhead used to use as his hideout.' Tigra explained. 'It's the same one that we caught him in the last time.'

'Wow. Talk about predictable.' Ant-Man snorted in derision as he adjusted some controls on the helmet that allowed him to communicate with insects. 'You'd think that he'd learn to hide somewhere else.'

'Perhaps he is purposely try to be obvious.' The Vision suggested. 'Hammerhead and his associates just attacked one of Jigsaw's places of operations, correct?'

'Then he'd be expecting Jigsaw to come back for revenge!' Spider-Woman guessed. 'And where better for such a thing to happen then a place that people know he's used as a hideout before?'

'So we are aiming to blunder into this trap also?' Beta Ray Bill asked. 'Excuse me for saying so, but is that not foolish?'

'Look at it this way, Bill…' Tigra told the Asgardian-empowered alien. 'There will be two warring factions fighting it out in that warehouse. They will be too concerned with trying to kill each other than fighting us. We'll be able to take advantage of the confusion and take them all in.'

Hawkeye leant in closer to his feline teammate and whispered in her ear.

'Greer, are you sure you're up to this?' The Avenging Archer asked with concern. 'I mean, we all understand what it's like to be seperated from somebody you love, but you're working yourself to death here. You've barely got any time to relax when you use all your time fighting crime as Greer Grant-Nelson _and_ as Tigra. You should take some time off. Give Vince a call. He misses you, you know.'

'Crime doesn't take time off, Clint.' Tigra responded matter-of-factly. 'The one moment that I relax could be the one moment that somebody else is killed.'

Hawkeye knew better to argue with Tigra once she set her mind on something. Besides, he had more important things to concentrate on right now. He could finish the conversation once they got back home.

* * *

**Hammerhead's warehouse-**

The steel plate-headed villain known as Hammerhead waited patiently in his not-so secret hideaway. Beside him were Tombstone and Bushwacker, the two people who had busted him out of prison in the first place. The pair were also the ones that had perpetrated the massacre at Callahan's in order to lure Jigsaw to them.

'Boss, I ain't too sure about this plan.' Tombstone frowned impatiently. 'With all due respect to ya and all, I don't think it's gonna work.'

'Have a little faith, will ya?' Bushwacker shot back. 'Don't tell me that you got me to help ya bust the boss outta jail only to get cold feet.'

'I ain't scared of no one!' Tombstone snapped. 'Least of all some little pantywaist like Jigsaw! I'm just bein' cautious, is all.'

'Chicken's more like it.' Bushwacker snickered.

'Boys, boys. Let's not get in a fight over this.' Hammerhead ordered his lackeys. 'Well, not yet. I don't wanna have to whack ya for insubordination. I need ya both top fight them Avenger cock-a-roaches.'

_**BADOOM!!**_

Fortunately, Hammerhead was spared more squabbling from his lackeys when something blasted one of the warehouse's walls.

'Knock, knock!' A rocket launcher-toting Jigsaw quipped as he walked through the newly created hole in the wall.

'Jigsaw, yer late.' Hammerhead tutted. 'And ya didn't even bring no friends to the party.'

'Ah, that's where you're wrong.' Jigsaw smirked as he put down his weapon. 'Boys, come and say hello…'

The scar-faced gangster was soon joined by three henchmen. One was tall and muscular, another was thin, short, and immaculately dressed, while the third wore a cowboy hat and had a bullwhip hanging from his hip. They were Ox, Fancy Dan, and Montana. Collectively known as the Enforcers.

'We ready to dance, boss?' The muscular but dim-witted Ox asked as he cracked his knuckles in anticipation.

'Keep ya britches on, Ox.' The whip-toting Montana calmed his hefty teammate. 'We ain't gonna do anything until the boss says so.'

'Actually, we can't start the party yet, because you don't have the guests of honour…'

The assembled villains all spun around to see Tigra and the other West Coast Avengers behind them.

'Good luck you had enough Pym Particles for all of us, Scott.' Hawkeye told Ant-Man. 'Or we wouldn't have been able to give everybody our surprise.'

Hammerhead snapped his fingers at his two lackeys.

'Boys, whack 'em!' The gangster movie-loving villain commanded. Tombstone and Bushwacker did as they were told and leapt into battle. The Enforcer's did the same.

'Well, this is a great first mission with the team.' Spider-Woman grumbled as she somersaulted behind Bushwacker and kicked him on the backside. 'Battling Z-List villains. If I wanted to fight losers like these guys, I would have joined the Champions.'

'Oh, I'm sorry our rogues aren't up to scratch.' Tigra snapped as she swept Fancy Dan's feet from under him. 'Next time Doctor Doom goes on a rampage, you can have first dibs.'

'Need I tell you all that we have more pressing concerns?' The Vision reminded everybody as he phased his fist through Tombstone's chest, causing the albino enforcer to yell out in pain.

'Yeah, where have Hammerhead and Jigsaw run off to?' Ant-Man asked as he attacked Ox with a swarm of ants.

'I saw a helicopter parked outside when we came in to land.' Hawkeye responded as he disarmed Montana with a well-placed arrow to his hand. 'I bet they've made a run for it!'

'They're mine!' Tigra gorlwed. 'Bill, give me a lift, will you?'

'As you wish.' The horse-faced alien nodded as he picked Tigra up and spun his enchanted hammer, flying back out of the hole in the warehouse wall.

* * *

**Outside, a few minutes earlier-**

Hammerhead and Jigsaw had indeed made it outside to the waiting helicopter. The pair were presently fighting who was going to pilot the thing out of there.

'Hey, get outta here!' Hammerhead grimaced as he swatted Jigsaw out of the way. 'This is my helicopter!'

Jigsaw just pulled out a gun and shot Hammerhead in the back.

_**BLAM!!**_

'Call it payback for trashing my club.' Jigsaw smirked as he hopped in the pilot's seat of the helicopter and started it up. That was when Tigra and Beta Ray Bill made their way out of the warehouse.

The feline Avenger grabbed hold of the helicopter's fuselage just at the machine lifted up above her head. Jigsaw cursed to himself as he tried to regain control.

'Dammit! Get offa the helicopter!'

'No, I don't think I will.' Tigra retorted as she slowly crawled towards the pilot's compartment. Jigsaw took out his gun again and tried to fire off a few shots at his furry foe. He missed every time.

'Gah! Stupid gun!' Jigsaw growled as he threw his weapon away. That was when Beta Ray Bill smacked the side of the helicopter with his hammer, right where the fuel tank was.

'Ahh! What the hell do you think you're doing?' Jigsaw yelled at the alien hero. 'You trying to kill us all?'

'No, only you.' Tigra retorted as she leapt into the pilot's compartment and kicked Jigsaw right in the face, knocking him out.

The feline Avenger took a seat and looked at the control panel in bewilderment.

'Now, how do you fly this thing?' Tigra frowned to herself. 'Oh, screw it!' The redhaired heroine grumbled as she slashed at the control panel with her claws, making sparks shoot all over the place.

Beta Ray Bill caught his feline teammate just as the helicopter lost control and crash into the ground in a fiery ball of wrecked metal. Tigra looked up at her saviour with a cheeky grin.

'You know, I got a strange sense of satisfaction out of that.'

* * *

**A little later-**

A team of SHIELD agents had arrived to take away the defeated villains. The crippled Hammerhead and the rather crispy Jigsaw were being taken away by SHIELD medics. The medics would see to the villains' wounds before being incarcerated.

'Well, that was a satisfying evening.' Tigra smiled as she dusted off her hands. 'The bad guys were beaten, and nobody that mattered got hurt.'

'Was it _really_ necessary to do that to Jigsaw?' Hawkeye asked concernedly. 'The guy's a scumbag, but did you have to blow him up like that?'

'He had it coming.' Tigra shrugged nonchalantly. 'Hell, I'd do it again any time.'

'We really have to talk about this new violent streak of yours, Greer.' Hawkeye shook his head. 'The Avengers don't kill.'

'Clint, Jigsaw isn't dead.' Tigra countered. 'He's just very badly burned. It's nothing that a long course of plastic surgery couldn't fix.'

Hawkeye frowned to himself as Tigra went to join the rest of the team. He would really have to give her a good talking to. She hadn't been the same since Alpha Flight called Vince back. He hoped that it wasn't her feline side gaining control again. It caused enough trouble in the first place. He didn't want to have to go through that again. Although the explanation could be a lot simpler. She just _really_ needed soem time off.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Time Out For Tigra**

_Hawkeye finally convinces Tigra to take some time off. Unfortunately, the Mole Man has his sights on having the feline Avenger become his wife. Just a normal day for the West Coast branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes, then._


	28. Time Off For Tigra: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 28: Time Out For Tigra- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer-** _'__Wait a minute, Statue of Liberty - that was __our planet! __You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!'_- **Homer Simpson**

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

It was approaching ten o' clock at the home of the West Coast branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes, and one of their number was still in bed. The feline Avenger known as Tigra didn't feel like getting up. She hadn't been the same ever since Alpha Flight had recalled her boyfriend: Vincent Freeman, the mutant powerhouse known as Mayhem. The smart thing would have been to give the man a call, but Tigra couldn't bring herself to do it. In her eyes, there wasn't any point in calling him. The relationship was over, so why bother even trying?

'Greer, are you okay?' Crystal's concerned voice came from the other side of the bedroom door. 'Don't you want any breakfast? We have bacon.'

Tigra stuck her head underneath her pillow.

'Go away!' The feline heroine retorted. 'I'll get up when _I _feel like it!'

Outside the bedroom, Crystal looked at Clint Barton, otherwise known as Hawkeye, and shook her head sadly.

'See, I told you.' The blonde Inhuman sighed. 'Greer refuses to come out of her room. The only times that she even makes one step out of her room is to do police work or to go out on missions, and once she's there she ends up doing things to criminals that would make the Punisher go pale.'

'Yeah, I remember what she did to Jigsaw.' Clint nodded in response. 'Here, let me have a word with her…'

Crystal stepped to the side to let the leader of the West Coast Avengers near the door.

'Greer, it's Clint…' The Avenging Archer said as he knocked on the bedroom door. 'I'm coming in.'

Without another word, Clint walked straight into his teammates room. He was instantly taken aback by the state of the place. The plush furnishings had been torn to shreds and had the stuffing ripped out. Pictures had been thrown to the ground, shattering their frames. Clint had seen that sort of thing before. Back when the West Coast Avengers had formed, Tigra had some trouble with her feline side and had started to regress into a feral state. He hoped that it wasn't happening again.

'Greer, what's happened to you?' Clint asked as he closed the bedroom door behind him. 'Your feline side isn't acting up again, is it?'

'You _know_ what's going on, Clint!' Tigra retorted angrily. 'Don't pretend that you don't!'

'We all miss Vince, but this isn't the way to go on.' Clint sighed. 'You're not the only one that lost out when Gyrich changed the team around. Namorita had to go back to Atlantis, remember? And what about Scott? He lost Mel when she had to go and join a new Thunderbolts team. You don't see us acting like lovesick teenagers.'

'Clint, I'm not going to tell you again…' Tigra growled. 'Just go.'

'I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this, Greer.' Clint shook his head, crossing his arms.

Tigra leapt up out of bed and lashed out at her teammate, but he was ready for her. The purple-clad archer grabbed her hand tight.

'Greer, look at yourself!' The heroic archer told the angry were-tiger. 'You're acting like a kid! You know that I don't like to push rank, but I'm ordering you to take some time off. You're going to be an inactive member of the team until you until you sort this all out, okay? Are we clear?'

'Fine.' Tigra heaved a sigh as Clint let her hand go and left her room. Once he was gone, the feline Avenger fell back onto her bed with a groan.

'Oh, this is just perfect!' Tigra snorted bitterly as she put her hands to her head. 'I get into a funk, end up attacking my friend, and now I'm off the team! I need to get some air…'

Tigra grabbed up some clothes from the floor and started to get dressed. A walk would help clear her head, then she would apologise to Clint for attacking him. Perhaps he'd let her be an active member again after that.

* * *

**Downtown Malibu, later-**

Tigra was in her human form of Greer Grant-Nelson and was walking down the main street of downtown Malibu. She was glad that she had decided to take a walk. She was feeling much better. There was nothing that shopping and a sickeningly large amount of chocolate cake could fix.

'Oog. I shouldn't have eaten all that cake.' Greer groaned as she patted her stomach. 'That stuff'll go straight to my hips.'

_**BLANG-A-LANG-A-LANG!!**_

The raven-haired woman spun around as she heard the sound of alarm bells. Somebody was robbing the bank!

'A light spot of crime-fighting will burn of some off those calories.' Greer grinned as she ducked into a nearby alley to change into Tigra.

A battered blue car sped past the alley that Greer was hiding in. There was a man dressed in a red hooded cloak behind the wheel. The man occasionally leant out of the window to take a few shots at the pursing police officers.

'Take that, pigs!' The hooded thief yelled as he shot out one of the police cars' tyres, causing it to crash. 'You can't catch me, I'm the Hood!'

The Hood yanked the steering wheel to one side as something landed on the roof of his car.

'What the hell?' The villain grimaced as he tried to regain control of his car. 'What was that?'

'That would be me.' Tigra grinned as she peered down through the windscreen. 'Hi. Be a sweetie and pull over, would you?'

'Go to hell!' The Hood retorted as he opened fire on the feline Avenger.

'Geez, you bad guys really are crappy shots.' Tigra tutted as she easily avoided the barrage of bullets. 'You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a bazooka.'

'I'll kill you!' The Hood growled as he severed the car in an effort to shake off his unwanted passenger, but to no avail. Tigra held on to the roof of the car.

'Bad guys never have time for witty banter nowadays.' The feline Avenger sighed cheekily. 'And I'd be careful where you swerve this car. You don't want to hit a…'

Tigra leapt off the roof of the car just as it crashed right into a brick wall.

'…wall.' Tigra grinned as she straightened herself up.

'I'll get you for this…' A battered and bloodied Hood coughed as he opened the battered door of his car and stumbled out. 'Just wait until the other supervillains find out that I've killed an Avenger…'

The hooded villain got up to his feet, only to be knocked back down by a tremor.

'Oh, hell. That's just what I need.' Tigra grumbled. 'I apprehend a bad guy and end up getting caught in an earthquake.'

It was soon made evident that whatever had caused the tremor wasn't an earthquake as a huge scaly head burst out from the ground.

'I think I'd better call the others…' Tigra mumbled to herself as she reached for her com-card. 'I'm going to need backup.'

Unfortunately, no sooner had the feline Avenger activated her com-card, then the giant creature grabbed her in a gigantic clawed hand and made its way back towards the hole that it had made. Tigra recognised the creature as one of the Mole Man's monsters.

'Hey! Watch the hands!' The furry heroine grimaced as she tried to free herself from the monster's grip. 'I don't usually do this sort of thing until the third date!'

The Hood let out a groan as he regained consciousness, but soon hoped that he was still out.

'Holy shi…'

The hooded villain soon quietened down once the giant monster stepped on him.

'Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.' Tigra winced as her giant captor carried her back down into the hole in the ground.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Time Off For Tigra- Part 2**

_Will the rest of the West Coast Avengers be able to rescue Tigra from the clutches of the Mole Man? Tune in next time to find out…_


	29. Time Off For Tigra: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 29: Time Out For Tigra- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.'**- Optimus Prime **

* * *

**Deep underneath Malibu-**

The feline Avenger known as Tigra sighed heavily as the gigantic reptilian creature carried her through a series of mazelike subterranean tunnels. It wouldn't have made any difference if the werecat tried to free herself, her captor's grip was just too strong.

'Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Greer.' The feline Avenger sighed as the creature carried her into a huge cavern. She instantly recognised the squat yellow-skinned creatures gathered in there.

'I should have known that the Mole Man was behind this.' Tigra realised. 'He's been too quiet recently.'

'It is always nice to have one's work recognised.' The Mole Man smiled as the monster lowered its captive to the ground.

'Yeah, I guess.' Tigra shrugged as she looked around. There wouldn't have been any use in her trying to escape as she was heavily outnumbered. She might as well wait and see what the Mole Man wanted.. It wasn't like she had any choice.

'It's a pleasure to be here, Moley.' Tigra rolled her eyes. 'You've done wonders with the place. I'm loving all the moss and damp. Got to love the dank.'

'You may be as sarcastic as you want, but you shall soon grow to love it here.' The Mole Man responded. 'For you shall soon be my bride!'

Tigra groaned into her hands at the news.

'Oh, hell. As if my luck couldn't get any worse.'

'Prepare the wedding chamber!' The Mole Man commanded the Moloids. 'And bring the bride her wedding dress!' The dumpy subterranean ruler ordered as he sneered at his captive's attire. 'No bride of mine will be wed wearing… _that._'

Tigra looked down at her skimpy black bikini.

'Oh, that was just mean.' Tigra tutted. 'I don't make fun of the fact that you dress in rags. Not to mention that you smell like you haven't had a bath since 1992.'

'Silence!' The Mole Man snapped. 'We are running out of time. We must begin the ceremony immediately!'

'Wow, hold your horses, Moley.' Tigra grimaced. 'Don't I get dinner first?'

* * *

**Avenger's Complex-**

The synthezoid hero known as the Vision was sitting in the monitor room of Avengers Complex. It was his turn to keep an eye on what ever trouble the bad guys were up to.

_**BLEE-BLEE-BLEE!!**_

The sound of the emergency alarm caught the Vision's attention. The emergency alarm was used whenever an Avenger was in trouble and called for back-up by activating their comm-card.

'The signal is coming from downtown.' The Vision stated. 'That was where Tigra was heading earlier.'

The green-and-yellow-clad scion of Ultron turned to see a news broadcast on one of the monitors screens. It showed the aftermath of an attack by a giant scaly monster. The Vision recognised it as one of the Mole Man's creatures. The synthezoid hero watched as some amateur footage that a bystander had made with his cell phone. It showed the monster snatching Tigra and taking her back underground.

'I shall have to gather the rest of the Avengers.' The Vision thought out loud. 'Unfortunately, USAgent has taken several of the Avengers away on a mission with him. I just hope that we have enough members present to combat the Mole Man and his forces.'

* * *

**Back underground-**

Tigra stood on top of a pedestal as several Moloids bustled about getting her ready for he upcoming wedding.

'I have to admit, this dress isn't all that bad.' The orange-furred woman said to herself as she looked at the beautiful white wedding dress that she had been given to wear. 'Not that I would have necessarily chosen white to wear. It isn't really my colour.'

One of the Moloids took Tigra by the hand and led her outside. The yellow-skinned was dressed in a ragged tuxedo. Tigra assumed that he was taking the part of the father of the bride.

'Come on, guys…' Tigra whispered to herself as she look up to the tunnel that the Mole Man's monster had brought her through. 'Any time that you'd like to rescue me would be nice. All this damp is making my fur all frizzy.'

The feline Avenger grimaced when one of the Moloids began to play the wedding march on a battered old church organ that had obviously seen better days. She also noticed that her husband-to-be had kidnapped a priest to conduct the wedding ceremony. He was obviously there against his will as a Moloid was holding a spear at his back.

'Ah, there you are, my dear.' The Mole Man grinned, flashing a mouthful of rotten teeth, as he saw his bride-to-be approach the podium. 'Are you ready for your big day?'

'Oh, yes.' Tigra responded through gritted teeth. 'I can't wait.'

'Then you may begin.' The Mole Man beckoned to the priest.

The priest cleared his throat and began the ceremony. The sooner he got it over with, the sooner he would be free, or so he hoped.

'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Harvey Rupert Elder and Greer Grant-Nelson. Do you Harvey take Greer to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'I do.' The Mole Man nodded in confirmation.

'Do you Greer take Harvey to be your lawful wedded husband?' The priest asked the feline heroine.

Tigra looked about her surroundings nervously. Her teammates were certainly cutting it close if they were going to rescue her.

There was a gust of wind as a blue blur swept the captured priest away. Tigra grinned in realisation. It was Quicksilver! The Avengers were finally there to rescue her!

'Avengers: _**Assemble!**_' Hawkeye yelled as he led his teammates into the cavern.

'Destroy the interlopers!' The Mole Man commanded the Moloids. 'Nothing shall stop this ceremony even if I have to do it myself!'

'I say thee nay, varlet!' Beta Ray Bill retorted as he sent a bolt of lightning Mole Man's way. 'Leave the fair maiden be!'

'Aww, that's so sweet.' Tigra smiled. 'Nobody's ever called me a fair maiden before.'

Unfortunately, the Mole Man was ready with his staff, and blasted Beta Ray Bill with a energy beam that sent the orange-skinned alien tumbling to the ground.

'Nobody will disrupt the ceremony!' The Mole Man yelled as he readied himself for a killing blow. 'You shall all be destroyed for this!'

'Uh, honey…?' Tigra piped up sweetly as she tapped the Mole Man on the shoulder.

'What?' The Mole Man frowned as he turned around.

'I want a divorce!' Tigra snapped as she slugged her would-be husband in the face, knocking him out.

'Tigra, are you okay?' Crystal asked as she used a fireball to do with some of the Moloids.

'Oh, I've never been better.' The feline Avenger nodded as she helped Beta Ray Bill up to his feet. 'Being kidnapped by the Mole Man was tonnes of fun. I'll have to do it more often.'

'I detect an unusual amount of sarcasm in Tigra's voice.' The Vision stated as he phased his arm through the chest of one of the Moloids.

'Vizh, we really have to give you a talk about getting a sense of humour.' Hawkeye rolled his eyes as he let his arrows fly.

* * *

**Avengers Complex, a little later-**

Once the Mole Man had been defeated, it was easy for the Avengers to deal with the Moloids. The creatures fell into disarray without somebody to lead them.

Tigra was presently talking to Hawkeye on the balcony.

'I've already called Alpha Flight.' Tigra told her teammate. 'I tried to get hold of Vince, but he wasn't there. Something about a mission in the middle of the Yukon. But they're going to pass on my message.'

'But are you really okay?' Hawkeye asked concernedly.

'I still miss him.' Tigra answered. 'But it's getting easier without him. I won't ever be totally over him. What I had with Vince was really special. I didn't think that it would ever end.'

'Yeah, fate usually has a way of kicking you in the butt when you least expect it.' Hawkeye nodded in understanding. 'Anyway, there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

'Don't talk to me about fish.' Tigra grimaced. 'You'll make me hungry.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Avengers Barbeque Party**

_The West Coast throw a barbeque party. Guest-starring the Avengers and the Inhumans._


	30. Avengers Barbeque Party

**Uncanny West Coast**

**Chapter 30: Avengers Barbeque Party**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__No broken bones, slight loss of dignity. No change there then.'_**- Ianto Jones (Doctor Who: The Stolen Earth)**

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

The home of the West Coast Avengers was a hive of activity. The heroes were preparing for another big party. Fortunately, they were going to cut down on the alcohol. The Avengers had learnt from all the times that She-Hulk's parties ended up turning nasty. Besides, the Jade Giantess wasn't even organising the gathering. Crystal had taken it upon herself to organise everything. There was even a barbeque.

'Clint, I think that's enough drink.' The Inhuman elemental frowned as she saw the heroic archer walk past with a case of beer under each arm.

'Come on, Crys.' The West Coast Avengers' leader sighed. 'It won't be a proper party without lots of beer.'

'Do you want a repeat of the last time Jen threw her last party?' Crystal asked.

'...I'll go put these cases away.' Clint nodded in understanding as he turned around and headed back the way he came.

Crystal just smiled and headed outside to see how the others were getting on with the jobs they had been assigned.

'I'm telling you, I put the firelighters in the basket with the rest of the food!' Scott Lang argued with Tigra. 'You don't forget something important like that!'

'Then why haven't we got any?' Tigra argued back. 'We can't light the barbeque without the firelighters!'

'What's all the fuss about having a proper barbeque, anyway?' Scott groaned. 'We're got a perfectly suitable propane grill.'

'Burgers on a grill just don't taste the same.' Tigra sighed. 'Besides, it wouldn't be a proper barbeque party if we just threw the food on the grill, would it?'

'I'm glad to see that we're all getting along.' Crystal chuckled. 'What's this about Scott losing the firelighters?'

'I did _not _lose them!' Scott grimaced. 'They just… disappeared.'

'Oh, don't worry about that.' Crystal waved it off. 'We'll manage without them.'

'And just how will we manage without the firelighters, pray tell?' Tigra scowled, crossing her arms.

'Greer, I'm an elemental.' Crystal pointed out. 'If you're so desperate for a proper barbeque, I'll use my powers to light it.'

'Sounds like cheating too me.' Tigra sniffed.

'Where's Pietro?' Scott changed the subject. 'Is he still in Attilan picking up Black Bolt and the others?'

'I would have thought he'd be home by now.' Crystal frowned slightly. 'I hope he hasn't gotten himself into any trouble. Pietro always seems to get himself intro trouble whenever he meets the rest of my family.'

'I'm sure that he'll be fine.' Tigra reassured her friend. 'He's got Luna and Lockjaw with him, remember? They'll keep him out of trouble.'

'I hope you're right.' Crystal nodded. 'But I haven't got time to worry about that. I still have so much to prepare…'

* * *

**A little while later-**

Thankfully, Pietro had managed to keep himself out of trouble and had returned with his guests in one piece. Captain America had also turned up with the rest of the East Coast Avengers in tow.

'Are you sure it's a wise idea to have Cap and Walker in such close proximity?' Iron Man whispered to Hawkeye. 'Those two never seem to get on.'

'Hey, at least if things do spark off, it'll liven things up a bit.' Hawkeye shrugged as he took a swig of his beer. 'Have you seen how much beer we've got? It's hardly enough to get a mouse drunk.'

'You're talking to the wrong guy, Clint.' Tony responded. 'I haven't had a drink in a _long _time.'

'Oh, yeah.' The heroic archer remembered. 'You're teetotal now. Sorry about that, man.'

'Uh… thanks.' Tony smiled slightly. 'I'm going to get some more orange juice.'

Nearby, Squirrel Girl was hanging back with Thor.

'Oh my gosh!' The busy-tailed heroine squeaked in excitement. 'I can't believe how many Avengers there are here! I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate.'

'Aye, it is great to see such an assemblage of heroes.' Thor nodded in agreement. 'It is a pity that Speedball could not join us.'

'Yeah, he had stuff with the New Warriors to deal with.' Squirrel Girl explained. 'Do you think Crystal would mind if I took him back a doggy bag?'

'I do not see what harm that would do.' The God of Thunder responded.

'Ho, Thor!'

The Odinson turned to see an orange-skinned face grinning at him.

'Beta Ray Bill!' Thor matched the Korbonite's grin, grabbing his hand and giving in a vigorous shake. 'It has been an age!'

'Aye, it has been too long since we last met.' The horse-faced alien nodded in agreement. 'At least now we meet in peaceful circumstances.'

'I believe you have not yet met Squirrel Girl.' Thor introduced the young mutant.

'Is she well?' Bill asked as he looked the dumbstruck heroine up and down. 'She has not said a word since I greeted you.'

'_Chrt?_' Tippy-Toe, Squirrel Girl's rodent companion, squeaked as she waved a furry hand in front of her human friend's face.

'Oh, she does this a lot.' Thor explained. 'She should return to normal in a short while.'

Elsewhere, Captain America and USAgent were catching up.

'So…' Cap said.

'So…' USAgent said in return.

'This is… nice.' The Star Spangled Sentinel of Liberty nodded.

'Yeah, the guy's aren't all that bad.' USAgent said. 'Even Quicksilver. He might seem like an arrogant ass, but I like him. He reminds me of me.'

'...I heard that you and Madelyne Pryor have struck up quite a good friendship.' Cap remembered.

'Hey, at least one member of the team's got to like me, right?' USAgent pointed out. 'Back in the day Mockingbird didn't exactly hate my guts.'

Nearby, Maddie, Pietro, Vision, and Spider-Woman were hanging out with Ms Marvel, the Wasp, and Yellowjacket.

'You know, I feel kind of out of place here.' Spider-Woman sighed. 'I get the feeling that people don't like me here.'

'Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Jess.' Maddie reassured her. 'You're still new to the team. I'm sure the others'll warm to you soon enough.'

'Well, you all certainly seemed to warm to USAgent.' The Wasp smiled. 'Did he slip something into your water?'

'Walker may often be an annoyance, bit his heart is in the right place.' Pietro shrugged. 'It doesn't mean that I particularly like him, though.'

'Same old Pietro.' Hank Pym smiled. 'You know, it kind of reminds me of the old times with everybody gathered here like this.'

'I concur.' The Vision nodded in agreement. 'We mostly only gather together like this when there is an earth-shattering crisis that calls for both teams to unite.'

'Usually we just send Squirrel Girl out to fight the bad guys.' The Wasp joked. 'The poor guys run a mile whenever they see her.'

'You don't _seriously_ believe all of that gossip about her beating Doctor Doom and Thanos?' A sceptical Quicksilver frowned.

'It isn't just gossip, Pietro.' Ms Marvel told the speedster. 'You weren't there when she handed Kang his ass.'

'What about the time she beat up Doctor Octopus?' Hank asked. 'I wasn't there, but Jen told me all about it.'

'I heard she knocked the Purple Man's teeth down his throat.' Maddie chipped in. 'Which, okay, isn't all that difficult. I mean, come on! The guy's purple! Purple is _so _last season.'

'Okay everybody, come and get your food!' Crystal called from over by the barbeque. 'Don't be shy, there's plenty to go around.'

'My, there certainly is a lot of food.' Wanda whistled as she surveyed all the food on offer. 'Are you sure you didn't cook too much?'

'Hey, the more food, the better.' She-Hulk grinned as she piled her plate high with steak and chicken. 'I intend to make a complete pig out of myself!'

'Heh. That's our Jen alright.' Wonderman chuckled. 'A real class act.'

'Mmm, this food is delicious.' Medusa, Queen of the Inhumans, complimented as she wiped some grease from her chin with a paper napkin. 'You must tell me the recipe so I might have the royal chefs in Attilan prepare it for us again.'

Black Bolt nodded in agreement. The King of the Inhumans was obviously a fan of Terran barbeque fare.

'Hoofa. This stuff is going to go straight to my hips.' Black Cat groaned. 'I'm gonna need a new costume at this rate.'

'At least some of us are allowed to have some food.' Spider-Man sulked. 'I'm still on my diet.'

'If I knew you were going to be such a child about it, I wouldn't have made you start a diet in the first place.' Mary Jane rolled her eyes. 'I suppose a burger wouldn't do you too much harm.'

'Oh, thank you…' The Web-Slinger sighed in relief. 'You can't believe how long I've waited for this! All that cottage cheese was making me go mad!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Back from The Dead-**

_Hawkeye rescues a woman that looks suspiciously like his dead ex-wife, Bobbi Morse. Surely Mockingbird can't be back from the dead… can she?_


	31. Back From The Dead: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 31: Back from The Dead- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Oh, this is _never_ good. You get this many big guns in one room not civilly warring, it's either the end of the world, or...I don't have an _or_.'_**- Spider-Man (Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men)**

* * *

**Stan's Bar And Grill, Malibu-**

Clint Barton, the avenging archer known as Hawkeye, was off duty. He found himself sitting in Stan's Bar and Grill, a bar in the middle of Malibu. It rather surprised the hero that such a downmarket place could be found in such an exclusive area as Malibu. Malibu was all surfboards and blonde hair, not country music and ribs, but it took all types. Besides, the place cooked the best chicken wings Clint had ever tasted.

The blond archer swallowed the last remains of beer in the bottle he was holding and motioned for the barman.

'Another beer over here, buddy.' Clint requested. 'And quick, I'm dying of thirst over here. And while you're at it, how about some of those infamous chicken wings? Make 'em extra spicy this time. I could still feel my mouth the last time.'

The barman nodded in understanding and headed over to get some more beer. Unfortunately, Clint would never get to drink the beer or eat the delicious chicken wings. Something exploded across the road, rattling the windows of the bar.

'What the hell?' The barman muttered. 'What's going on?' The man turned back to give Clint his beer only to see that the heroic archer had disappeared.

* * *

**Nearby-**

Fortunately, Clint had parked his motorbike nearby with a spare change of clothes in case something happened. He ducked into an alley for a quick change.

'So much for some quiet time on my own.' The leader of the West Coast Avengers muttered as he slung his quiver over his shoulder. 'I shoulda asked for those wings in a doggie bag.'

Clint clambered onto his bike and headed off in the direction of the fracas.

Nearby, outside the bank, the supervillain known as Whirlwind was trying to make a getaway with several bags full of money. He had ambushed a truck had had stopped outside the bank to load up the vault inside.

'Ha! _This_ is what I'm talking about!' Whirlwind laughed to himself as he used his powers to send a police cruiser sailing through the air. 'Here I am having some fun and no damn heroes anywhere to stop me!'

The sound of a motorbike engine made Whirlwind turn around.

'Aww, crap.' The villain grimaced as he saw Hawkeye heading his way. 'Everything was going so smoothly. Oh, well. It's not like I can't handle this jerk on my own…'

Whirlwind held out his hands to try and knock the avenging archer off his bike. Hawkeye leapt off his bike and let fly with an electro-shock arrow.

'_**Gyaaaaahh!**_' Whirlwind howled as several thousands volts coursed through his body.

'You should know better than to try and rob a bank when there's an off-duty Avenger nearby, Whirly.' Hawkeye quipped as he stepped up to the unsteady villain. 'But then again, you guys aren't well-known for your intelligence.'

'Kill you…' Whirlwind wheezed as he made a grab for Hawkeye. The purple-clad hero easily ducked the villain's attack. His electro-shock arrow had already slowed the villain's reflexes. It was only a matter of time before the fight was over and Hawkeye headed back to the bar to finish off his beer.

_**POW!**_

Hawkeye dealt Whirlwind a savage punch to the chin that knocked off the villain's helmet and sent him crashing to the ground.

'Heh. That never gets more satisfying.' Hawkeye grinned as he dusted off his hands. 'Now, I do believe that I've got some chicken wings that need eating…'

'Please… help me…'

Hawkeye was about to hop back onto his motorbike when he heard somebody call for help.

'Please… I can't move my legs.'

Hawkeye ran over to where pieces of the bank's wall had fallen to the ground, trapping somebody underneath.

'It's okay, lady…' Hawkeye reassured the trapped woman as he began to move the broken masonry away. 'Ol' Hawkeye's here to save you.'

'Oh, thank you…' The woman smiled thankfully. 'I would have been done for if you hadn't freed me.'

Hawkeye gasped in shock once he recognised the woman's face. It was somebody that he had long thought to be dead.

'_**Bobbi?!**_**'**

* * *

**Malibu General Hospital-**

Hawkeye had managed to get himself together and hurried the injured woman to the nearest hospital. He was waiting to find out the woman's condition. Once he discovered that the woman might have been his late ex-wife, he had also called in the rest of the West Coast Avengers.

The Avenging Archer looked up from his seat when he heard several people running towards him.

'What did you want to tell us, Clint?' Tigra asked as she ran up with USAgent and the Vision. 'Is everything okay?'

'I'm okay, Greer.' Clint told his feline teammate. 'But that isn't why I called you all here. Take a look in that room. Does the woman in the bed look familiar?'

The other three Avengers did as they were told and peered in through the window at the woman lying in the bed.

'She almost looks like you ex-wife, Barton.' USAgent blinked. 'Is this why you called us here, because some woman looks like your dead ex?'

'She doesn't just _look_ like Bobbi... she _is_ Bobbi.' Clint explained.

'Clint, I'd had to be the one stating the obvious, but Bobbi's dead.' Tigra reminded him. 'Remember? Mephisto killed her. That can't be Bobbi in there.'

'Being dead's never stopped anybody before.' Clint explained. 'How is it so strange to think that she's back from the dead?'

'Then who was it that died?' USAgent asked. 'Was it a Space Phantom? A Skrull?'

'The woman lying in that bed is not a Space Phantom.' The Vision explained. 'Neither is she a Skrull. From what my scans can tell me, that woman is the real Barbara Morse.'

'That still doesn't explain how she came back from the dead.' Tigra frowned. 'For all we know Mephisto could be playing a trick on us.'

'That's what I'm gonna find out.' Clint told her. 'I've already asked her back to Avengers Complex. We can find out how and why she came back there.'

'All this stuff is making me confused.' USAgent shook his head. 'Doesn't anybody ever stay dead nowadays?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Back From The Dead- Part 2**

_How did Mockingbird come back from the dead? Why doesn't she remember her life with Hawkeye and the Avengers? Tune in next time to find out…_


	32. Back From The Dead: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 32: Back From The Dead- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

_

* * *

_

'_I wanted this to be professional. Efficient, adult, cooperative, not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.'_**- Hans Gruber (Die Hard) **

_

* * *

_

**Malibu General Hospital-**

Madelyne Pryor strode along the corridor leading to the room where the woman believed to be Bobbi Morse was being kept. Hawkeye had called the redheaded telepath to use her powers to try and find out if the woman really was the former Avenger known as Mockingbird back from the dead. The Vision had already confirmed the woman's identity via a scan, but the West Coast Avengers' leader thought that it was better to be extra sure.

'She's right this way, Maddie…' Tigra waved her friend and teammate over. 'She's already given her consent for the mind-scan. We're all ready when you are.'

'You do knows the risks involved, right?' Maddie warned her friend. 'I mean, I've never actually used my powers like this before. I mostly rely on my telekinesis nowadays.'

'You're the only one that can do this, Maddie.' Hawkeye explained. 'I wanted to ask for your help before looking elsewhere. The X-Men're most probably busy with their own stuff, right?'

'Well, don't say I didn't warn you.' Maddie sighed. 'Don't blame me when I accidentally wipe the poor woman's mind.'

'We've all got faith in you.' USAgent reassured his friend. 'Now come on, let's do this thing.'

Maddie allowed herself to be led into the room and sat down beside Bobbi, if that's who she really was.

'Hi, Bobbi.' Maddie smiled nervously. 'I'm Madelyne Pryor. I don't think we've ever met before.'

'No, we haven't met before.' Bobbi shook her head. 'At least… I don't think we have. I have heard of you, though. You were responsible for all that demonic trouble in new York a few years ago, right?' **(1)**

'Yeah, that was me…' Maddie admitted sheepishly. 'But don't you worry, all that has changed now. I'm one of the Avengers now and if Jean Grey doesn't like that she can go and stick it right up her…'

Maddie started to trail off once she realised that everybody was staring at her.

'Sorry.' Maddie smiled embarrassedly. 'I guess I still have issues about that.'

Maddie took a deep breath and held her hands beside Bobbi's head.

'Now Bobbi, I want you to try and clear your mind that way it will be easier for me to find the information that I need.' Maddie explained. 'Rather than rifling through your private thoughts. You don't want me to dig up something naughty, do you?'

'No, I guess you don't.' Bobbi chuckled nervously. 'Uh… this won't take too long will it?'

'I'll try to be as quick as I can…' Maddie responded as the hospital room started to fade away.

* * *

**The Astral Plane-**

Maddie soon found herself standing in an art gallery with pictures decorating the walls. Upon closer inspection it seemed that the pictures were actually Bobbi's memories.

'Wow, if this Bobbi is actually a Skrull she sure has done her homework.' Maddie thought out loud as she walked along the row of pictures to come to stop beside a heavy wooden door.

'Okay, that's unusual.' Maddie frowned as she looked the door up and down. 'There's bound to be something hiding in there. Either that or it's the Janitor's Closet.'

Maddie put her hand on the door handle and tried to open, but it was stuck tight.

'Hunh. Looks like this isn't going to be as easy as I thought.' Maddie sighed as she rubbed her hands together. 'Perhaps if I gave it one big tug…'

The redhead took hold of the door handle and gave it one almighty tug. Much to her astonishment the door swung open right away, making her fall on her backside.

'Okay, that wasn't the most dignified of entrances.' Maddie sighed as she picked herself up off the ground. 'Time to see what Bobbi's got hidden in here…'

The telekinetic slowly and cautiously stepped through the threshold into the room and noticed that it was pitch black.

'Well, this isn't ominous at all, is it?' Maddie muttered to herself as she walked onwards. 'God knows what Bobbi's got hidden in here. It couldn't be where she keeps her darkest thoughts, could it? Nah, that would be taking it too literally.'

_**DOOM!**_

Maddie spun around as she heard the door slam closed behind her.

'Either Bobbi's mind doesn't like drafts, or there's something going on here.' Maddie frowned as she continued walking. 'Perhaps I should have brought backup or something. It was nice of Clint to ask me first, but I am out of my depth here. This is more Jean Grey's thing. I'd rather it were her in here than me.'

Maddie narrowed her eyes when she noticed a bright light illuminating something in the distance. The redheaded telepath ran up to get a closer look at whatever the light was illuminating. It was a large leather-bound book sitting on a pedestal.

'Well, I guess this is what I've looking for.' Maddie deduced as she looked down at the ancient-looking book. 'I'd better take a look.'

Maddie reached out to open the book when the whole area around her burst into flames. Maddie tried to find the doorway out of the room, but it had disappeared. The flames started to grow higher and higher as they approached Maddie, her skin starting to blister under the heat.

'This is only in my mind…' Maddie told herself. 'This isn't real…'

If the fire wasn't real, then why did it burn?

* * *

**Malibu General Hospital-**

'Ahh! It burns!' Maddie yelled as she snapped back into reality.

'Maddie, it's okay…' Hawkeye reassured his teammate. 'You're back in the real world now.'

'But… the fire.' Maddie blinked. 'It burned so much…'

'According to my scans you are unhurt, Madelyne.' The Vision explained. 'Whatever flames you encountered did not have any effect on you in reality.'

'What about Bobbi?' Maddie asked. 'Is she okay?'

'I'm just fine, thanks.' Bobbi smiled. 'But I'm intrigued to find out what those flames were that you encountered.'

'I don't know what they were.' Maddie shook her head. 'There was this big book. I tried to open it to read what was inside, but the whole place went up in flames. Then I woke up back here.'

'Do you think that that book had something to do with why you came back?' Tigra scratched her furry head. 'Could it be hiding something?'

'Now that you mention it, I do remember something…' Bobbi nodded as she started to remember. 'Oh, God…'

'Bobbi! What is it?' Hawkeye asked his ex-wife concernedly.

'It's the Avengers, Clint…' Bobbi explained. 'Somebody's going to die!'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Pietro In Wonderland**

_Quicksilver plans to have a quiet day out with Crystal and Luna, but the White Rabbit might have something to say about that. No, really, the White Rabbit!_

_

* * *

_

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_The demonic shenanigans that Bobbi is referring to is, of course, the infamous _Inferno_ crossover, when Madelyne Pryor went nuts and turned New York into a demonic playground._


	33. Pietro In Wonderland

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 33: Pietro In Wonderland**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

_

* * *

_

'_Nobody snuggles with Max Power - You strap yourself in and feel the G's!_'**- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons: Homer to the Max)**

_

* * *

_

**Downtown Malibu-**

It was a beautiful sunny day in the coastal region of California known as Malibu. There was a slight chill in the air, but that was understandable given the time of year. Sitting inside Stan's Diner were two members of Malibu's very own branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes: Pietro and Crystal Maximoff, otherwise known as Quicksilver and Crystal. They were having lunch with their daughter Luna. Well, they would be having dinner if Pietro managed to keep still.

'Pietro, is it really necessary to fidget like that?' Crystal sighed. 'Honestly, you are like a small child sometimes.'

'Yeah, dad.' Luna added her two cents. 'You're like a kid hopped up on sugar.'

'I wouldn't be so impatient if the waitress was prompt with our order.' Pietro grumbled. 'Her attitude left much to be desired as well.'

'Well, what do you expect after the way you treated her?' Crystal countered. 'Was there any need to be so rude? The poor woman was only doing her job.'

'Then she isn't doing her job fast enough.' Pietro sniffed disdainfully. 'I can't be expected to sit here and wait while everybody lives life at a crawl.'

'Dad, not everyone can do things at a hundred miles an hour.' Luna sighed. It was known that Pietro's impatient attitude mainly came from the fact that his mutation allowed him to do much more in a minute than the average person, and as a result, he constantly had to stop and wait for others to play catch-up.

'If I thought that you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have suggested coming out to dinner in the first place.' Crystal shook her head. She loved her husband, but his increasing impatience was beginning to great on her nerves.

'Crystal, I'm sorry…' Pietro apologised. 'You know how I am sometimes. I shall try to remain patient for you, okay?'

'Thank you, darling.' Crystal smiled at her husband and placed a hand on top of his. 'You will enjoy things much more if you were just more patient.'

Unfortunately, the moving family scene wasn't to last as the diner began to shake with the sound of giant footsteps.

_**DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!**_

'What on earth?' Pietro frowned as he jumped up to his feet. 'What is it now?'

'I think the giant robot rabbit stomping down the street might have something to do with it.' Luna suggested as she pointed out the window at a giant robot shaped like a rabbit.

'We can never seen to catch a break, can we?' Crystal sighed sadly as she threw money on the table to pay for the meal and headed outside.

* * *

**Outside-**

The villainess known as White Rabbit laughed evilly as the robot rabbit under her control rampaged its way through downtown Malibu.

'Hahahaaa! Cower beneath the power of the White Rabbit and her deadly Robo-Bunny!' White Rabbit cackled. 'Snicker at my supervillain career, will you? I'll show you all! I'll stomp you all into mush! All of you!'

_**BRATTATTATTA!!**_

The Robo-Bunny opened fired on a (fortunately closed) pet store. The store had been closed down for quite some time and all of the animals that were on offer had been sold.

'Peddler of meaty filth!' White Rabbit snarled as she saw a hotdog cart standing by the road.

_**KABOOM!**_

The Robo-Bunny launched a carrot-shaped rocket at the cart, blowing it sky-high and sending the vendor scurrying for cover.

'Do you actually have a plan, or do you just plan on causing general property damage?' Quicksilver asked as he stopped in front of the Robo-Bunny.

'A-ha! One of the Avengers!' White Rabbit grinned eagerly. 'Even you shall have to bow to my might!'

'Just who are you, again?' Crystal frowned in confusion. She had never seen the woman before.

'_**What?!' **_White Rabbit spluttered in disbelief. 'Are you kidding? I'm the White Rabbit! I'm the Queen of Crime! The Mistress of Mayhem!'

'You're a loony.' Luna retorted. 'We've never even _heard _of you!'

'I fought Spider-Man!' White Rabbit yelled. 'What do you mean you've never heard of me?! I'll show you!'

The Robo-Bunny's machine guns took aim at the trio of heroes.

'Heh. Wait until everybody hears that I killed two of the Avengers.' White Rabbit chuckled to herself. 'They'll soon regret refusing to join my gang!'

_**CLICK-CLICK!**_

'What the-?' White Rabbit blinked as she pressed the button to activate the Robo-Bunny's machine guns. 'What…? Nothing's happening!'

_**KNOCK-KNOCK!**_

'Are you looking for these?' Quicksilver asked as he tapped on the Robo-Bunny's glass canopy. The silver-haired speedster had run up the side of the Robo-Bunny while the loony White Rabbit was talking to herself and had torn out the machine guns' wires.

'I don't need machine guns to destroy you!' White Rabbit spat. 'Try an exploding carrot on for size!'

White Rabbit jabbed at a big red button that would let rip with a carrot-shaped missile.

'A wind trap should take care of that…' Crystal said as she waved her hands, creating a gust of wind that blew the missile off course, making it explode harmlessly against the wreckage of the old pet store.

_**CHOOM!**_

Luna then followed up by blasting the carrot-launcher with her light powers.

'That isn't fair!' White Rabbit howled. 'You heroes never play fair! I'll show you! I'll show you all!'

White Rabbit popped the canopy and pulled out an umbrella.

'Say goodbye, Avengers!' White Rabbit grinned evilly as she pressed a button on the side of her umbrella.

_**FLUMPH!**_

The umbrella popped open harmlessly. The scantily-clad would-be villainess blinked in surprise and stared at her useless umbrella.

'Wait, this isn't my machine gun umbrella…'

_**POW!**_

Quicksilver punched the villainess in the head, sending her toppling back into the control booth of the Robo-Bunny.

'As much as I detest cheap shots like that, she deserved it.' Quicksilver shook his head sadly. 'She was quite annoying.'

'Three pints of carrot juice please, Mr Cottontail…' White Rabbit slurred sleepily. 'The foxes have stolen my cabbages…'

'I think I may have hit her too hard.' Quicksilver surmised as he joined his wife and daughter.

'Look at it this way, Dad. You might have knocked some sense into her.' Luna quipped.

'I don't think any amount of blows to the head could knock any sense into that woman.' Crystal tutted. The Inhuman royal shook her head at the White Rabbit's bunny-themed costume. 'Who dresses up like a rabbit anyway? Honestly!'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: It's A Bug's Life**

_Ant-Man and Spider-Woman take Cassie to the museum to see a new exhibit about the evolution of invertebrates. Unfortunately, Scorpion and the Tarantula might just spoil the trip._


	34. It's A Bug's Life

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 34: It's A Bug's Life**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Los Angeles Museum of Natural History-**

Cassie Lang walked along the street towards the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History with her father, Scott, and Jessica Drew. There was a new exhibition on the life of invertebrates and Scott promised to take his daughter along to see it. Jessica decided to tag along as well. The heroine sometimes known as Spider-Woman was new to the West Coast Avengers, and hadn't gotten to know her teammates yet.

'This exhibition is gonna be so cool, dad!' Cassie grinned. 'I heard that there's giant animatronic ants and everything. A life-size model of a termite mound. I wonder if there's going to be any live exhibits…'

'You never know, we might get to hold a conversation with them.' Scott chuckled. 'Although, you wouldn't get much of a conversation with a colony of ants. They're all work, work, work. Did you know that spiders are surprisingly arrogant?'

'I don't know whether I should take offence or not.' Jessica smiled.

'Sorry, Jess.' Scott apologised. 'I didn't mean that you were arrogant or anything…'

'Heh. Think nothing of it, Scott.' Jessica replied. 'It's just nice to get out and about without there being bad guys to fight.'

'You shouldn't be, anyway.' Cassie reassured them. 'Spiders aren't bugs. They're arachnids. And you are right, it is fun to go out... even though bad guys always seem to pop up and cause trouble wherever we go. Luna told me about that thing the other day with that Z-List Spider-Man villain. What was her name…? She dressed like a slutty version of something out of _Alice In Wonderland._'

'The White Rabbit.' Scott remembered. 'I've heard of her. I wonder why brought her to the West Coast.'

'Maybe she got fed up of having her butt kicked by Spider-Man.' Jessica suggested. 'She most probably wanted to diversify. You know, get her butt kicked by different people' Cassie burst out laughing at that.

'I hope it isn't another one of those Acts of Vengeance things.' Scott shook his head.

'The Acts of What-Now?' Cassie blinked in confusion.

'The Acts of Vengeance.' Scott explained. 'A gang of villains met up and decided to try their luck against different heroes. The Mandarin tried it on with Wolverine, and Iron Man took on Magneto. Or so I heard.'

'I'm sure it's nothing like that, Scott.' Jessica said. 'Nobody would be dumb enough to try the same trick twice would they?'

'Let's hope not.' Scott sighed as he joined the line to get into the museum.

* * *

**Inside the museum-**

Cassie wandered along happily gazing at the various exhibits on display. From a life-size mode of a termite mound and giant animatronic ants to live tarantulas and a butterfly enclosure.

'Wow. I never knew that there were so many different types of butterflies.' Cassie remarked in amazement as she walked through the enclosure. 'It's amazing!'

'Some of these are pretty rare too.' Jessica added as she read from a sign. 'Take the Giant Admiral for instance. There are only a few in existence and this exhibit has got over half of them.'

'No wonder there was so much security outside.' Scott realized. 'Nobody would be dumb enough to try and steal the butterflies.'

No sooner had Scott said that then something came crashing through a nearby wall.

'Me and my big mouth.' The redheaded electronics expert sighed heavily. 'Good thing I brought miniaturised versions of our work clothes, huh?'

While Scott and the others proceeded to get changed, those responsible for crashing through the wall made themselves known.

'We don't want no trouble!' The villain known as the Scorpion yelled as he stepped through the hole in the wall. 'Give us what we want and nobody gets hurt!'

'_Si, _we do not want to have to hurt anybody. So please, give us the Giant Admiral' A man wearing a blue mask and a red outfit with a large black spider on the front. He was the Tarantula, one of Spider-Man's villains. He was long thought to be dead, but appearances were often deceiving.

'I think I already covered that.' Scorpion groaned. 'Who they hell are you, anyway? I ain't never heard of nobody called the Tarantula. Okay, there was a hot chick with the black-and-red hair that used to run around with those Daughters of the Dragon, or whatever they were called.'

'_I_ am the Tarantula.' The former South American revolutionary explained. 'I fought Spider-Man many times.'

'Well, so did I.' Scorpion pointed out. 'Hell, everybody's took on the Wall-Crawler. Don't blame 'em. Damn annoying bug. Gonna crush him one of these days.'

'I'm afraid Spider-Man Isn't here right now, but maybe you'd like to make to with Spider-_Woman!_' Spider-Woman said as she leapt into action. 'And spiders aren't bugs! They're arachnids.'

'Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, it don't matter who you are.' Scorpion growled angrily. 'I'm gonna crush you no matter what!'

Scorpion lashed out with his tail, only for Spider-Woman to fly out of the way and come back down with a kick to the villain's face.

_**CRACK!**_

'Grr! Gonna crush you for that!' The green-clad villain growled again.

'Yeah, so you keep on saying that.' Spider-Woman smirked as she blasted the Scorpion with a venom blast.

While all this was going on, the Tarantula was heading towards the Giant Admiral butterfly.

'Let the Scorpion content himself with battling heroes.' The Tarantula muttered to himself. 'I however have my eyes on the prize…'

_**BOOM!**_

The Tarantula clutched his head and yelled out as pain shot through his ears.

'Ahhh!'

It felt like somebody was in his head, punching his eardrums. Funnily enough, that was exactly what was going on. Scott and Cassie had shrunk down to ant-size and had snuck into Tarantula's ears. Scott was in his left ear, while Cassie was in the right.

_**BOOM!**_

'Ahh! Make it stop!' The Tarantula howled in pain as he fell to his knees. '_Please…_'

'Do you think we should stop, dad?' Cassie asked.

'No.' Scott replied. 'Let's take this loser down!'

'Heh. I was hoping you'd say that.' Cassie grinned as she gave the villains eardrum another punch.

_**BOOM!**_

While the Tarantula was curled up in pain, Spider-Woman was still dealing with the Scorpion.

'_Rraagh!_' The green-clad villain yelled in anger as he tried desperately to clobber the red-clad villain with his tail, but she was just too fast for him and kept flying out of the way. 'Get down here so I can crush you!'

'Well, seeing that you were kind enough to ask.' Spider-Woman smiled as she landed back down on the ground. 'C'mon, give me your best shot.'

'Heh. You're dead meat, babe.' The Scorpion grinned as he lashed out with his tail once more, only for Spider-Woman to catch it.

'Aww, no.' The villain groaned. 'No fair. Gimmie back my tail!'

'Not going to happen.' Spider-Woman grinned as she yanked on the Scorpion's tail and began to spin him around.

'_Ahhhh! _Let me go! Let me go!' The Scorpion howled as Spider-Woman spun him around and around.

'Your wish is my command.' Spider-Woman said as she let the villain go, sending him sailing through the air, only to crash into a giant scorpion suspended from the ceiling.

_**SMACK!**_

The Scorpion fell down to the ground, soon to be followed by his giant namesake, trapping him underneath.

_**CRUNCH!**_

'I never figured you to be into collecting butterflies, Gargan.' Spider-Woman chuckled as she approached the defeated villain. 'Just wait until your bad guy buddies find out. They'll think you've gone soft.'

'Don't taunt the villains, Spider-Woman.' Ant-Man said as he returned ot normal size.

'Why?' Spider-Woman asked. 'it isn't like he can get me.'

'It's just… tacky.' Ant-Man grimaced.

'What happened to his buddy?' Spider-Woman enquired.

'He passed out from the pain.' Cassie replied, indicting the unconscious Tarantula with a jerk of her thumb. 'What a wuss.'

'I hope this isn't a pattern.' Spider-Woman sighed as she surveyed the defeated pair of villains. 'You know, like you said. Another one of those Acts of Vengeance things.'

'I hope not.' Ant-Man shook his head. 'I really hate cleaning up other peoples' messes.'

'Aww, don't say that, dad.' Cassie chuckled, patting her father on the shoulder. 'Spider-Man has some cool villains. What about that Doctor Octopus guy?'

'Cassie, there are no such thing as cool villains.' Ant-Man reminded his daughter. 'They're bad, they're not supposed to be cool.'

Cassie just rolled her eyes at that.

'You really need to stop hanging around with that doofus USAgent. He's not a good influence on you.'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Too Many Skrulls**

_Paibok the Power Skrull is on the run from the Super-Skrull. It's up to Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Tigra, Beta Ray Bill, Vision, and Jocasta to stop them before they trash the whole town._


	35. Too Many Skrulls: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 35: Too Many Skrulls- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

Jocasta was in the subterranean hanger bay of Avengers Complex, the home of the West Coast Avengers. The former bride of Ultron had taken it upon herself to become the team's mechanic. If anything was wrong with the team's vehicles, or if the computer systems needed to be tinkered with, it was up to her to take care of it. Taking care of the Avengers' mechanical needs was no trouble for Jocasta, she loved tinkering with machines.

The robotic woman was presently lying in the cockpit of the Quinjet. Hawkeye had reported that the jet's steering felt a little stiff, so Jocasta made sure to try and sort it out. The silver-skinned synthezoid clutched a screwdriver in her mouth as she fiddled with the wires in the steering column she had torn open.

'The Quinjet wouldn't be so hard to steer if he didn't yank it about so much…' Jocasta muttered to herself as she went about her work. 'He keeps treating the Quinjet like it's a monster truck. You can't yank the steering column about like a crazy person, you have to be gentle with it…'

'Jocasta, you in here?'

Jocasta jumped at the sound of the voice, banging her head on the edge of the steering column.

'Ow, dammit!' The robot hissed as she crawled out from underneath the Quinjet's steering column, clutching her head.

'Wow, I never thought you knew how to curse.' Tigra smirked as she leant against the wall and watched her robotic teammate disembark from the Quinjet. 'I think you've been hanging around with us foul-mouthed flesh-creatures for too long.'

'How can I help you, Greer?' Jocasta asked as she wiped the grease from her hands with a rag. 'Is it about your car? I swear, I was going to get onto it as soon as I'd finished with the Quinjet, but then Walker came in and asked me to take a look at his motorbike…'

'I didn't come to talk to you about my car.' Tigra told her teammate. 'That can wait, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go grab something to eat. You've been in this hanger for days now, you really need to take some time off.'

'I don't require sleep, Greer.' Jocasta countered. 'I cannot afford to take time off. I am needed here. The Quinjet isn't even ready yet. I couldn't let anybody use the Quinjet until I was absolutely sure that it was in perfect working order.'

'This new hobby of yours is sweet and all, but you can't keep yourself cooped up in here for days on end.' Tigra said. 'That is unless you're planning something… Wait, you're not trying to rebuild Ultron are you?'

'Greer, you should know that I no longer am controlled by the Ultron Imperative.' Jocasta sighed. 'I am free of that monster's influence now. I am no longer compelled to rebuild him.'

'Glad to hear it.' Tigra nodded in understanding. 'Now come on, you're coming upstairs with me. There's a big carton of ice-cream that's got both our names on it.'

'I don't require sustenance, Greer.' Jocasta reminded her. 'Why would I need to eat ice-cream anyway?'

'You have no idea what you're missing out on, honey.' Tigra smirked as she put a furry arm around her teammate's shoulders. 'Now come on, I don't want to hear another word. We are both going to pig out on a disgusting amount of ice-cream. Don't make me pull rank on you…'

Jocasta let out a heavy sigh as she allowed herself to be led along to the kitchen.

'I am honoured that you chose to share your ice-cream with me, but why did you choose me to join you?' Jocasta enquired. 'Why not ask Crystal or any of the others? Surely they will be better company.'

'I'm not asking them to join me.' Tigra said. 'I'm asking you. Besides, it's not as if you haven't tried ice-cream before. Cookie Dough is your favourite, right?'

'I have been known to enjoy that particular flavour, yes.' Jocasta confirmed with a nod. 'I may not require sustenance, but that cannot stop me from enjoying the act of eating.'

'Just what I like to hear.' Tigra smiled as the pair entered the elevator. 'I just hope that something doesn't pop up and spoil our fun like it usually does.'

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

While Tigra and Jocasta were making their plans, the Vision was in the monitor room keeping an eye out in case anything needed the attention of the Avengers. Everything seemed to be peaceful and quiet. That was until the computer brought up a live news broadcast from Los Angeles.

'This is Manoli Wetherell reporting for URM-BC coming to you live from Los Angeles.' The woman explained. 'It seems that two green-skinned creatures are duking it out on the streets of Los Angeles. There is debris everywhere: bunt out cars, wrecked buildings, you name it. I'm going to try and get in closer and have a better look…'

The video image shook slightly as the cameraman followed the reporter.

'Are you getting this, Neal?' The reporter asked.

'Yeah, I'm rolling.' A man's voice, the cameraman, replied. 'You'd think that after all the weird stuff I've seen I'd be used to it all, but this is new to me.'

The camera panned to show two green-skinned beings slugging it out on the street in front of them. The beings had large pointed ears and ridged chins. They were members of the alien race known as the Skrulls. These two were no ordinary Skrulls, however. That much was evident from the various powers they each employed. From fireballs and malleability, to arcs of electricity and ice blasts. They were the Super-Skrull and Paibok the Power Skrull.

'Paibok and the Super-Skrull in Los Angeles?' The Vision frowned. 'I will have to notify Hawkeye and the others of this at once.'

The red-faced synthezoid phased through the ceiling of the monitor room and set off in search of the other Avengers.

* * *

**Meanwhile-**

Unaware of the goings-on in Los Angeles, Tigra and Jocasta were enjoying their ice-cream.

'Mmm, I am glad that you convinced me to join you, Greer.' Jocasta smiled as she attempted to scrape up any last traces of ice-cream from the carton. 'I really have been cooped up in that hangar for too long.'

'See, I told you so.' Tigra grinned as she licked her spoon clean. 'Nothing popped up to spoil our fun, which is a bonus.'

Unfortunately, the two Avengers' fun was to be cut short as the Vision phased up through the floor.

'Gah! Watch where you're going, Vizh!' Tigra yelped. 'You could have given me a heart attack.'

'My sincerest apologies, Greer.' The Vision said. 'I must assemble the Avengers immediately, there is a situation that needs our attention. The Super-Skrull and Paibok the Power Skrull are brawling in Los Angeles. The Avengers must assemble to stop them before they level the city.'

'At least we managed to finish the ice-cream before we had to go back to work.' Tigra sighed as she threw her spoon into the now-empty ice-cream carton.

'We cannot take the Quinjet.' Jocasta stated. 'I still have much work to do on it.'

'We'd better take the A-Wing, then.' Tigra nodded in understanding. 'Unless you're going to tell me that it isn't ready either.'

'Oh no.' Jocasta shook her head. 'The A-Wing is fully fuelled and ready for takeoff.'

'The only other Avengers in the building are Hawkeye, Mockingbird, and Beta Ray Bill.' Vision stated.

'Six Avengers against two Skrulls?' Tigra snorted. 'How hard could it possibly be?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Too Many Skrulls- Part 2**

_How difficult could it be to take care of two brawling Skrulls? When they have the collective powers of the Fantastic Four and more, very difficult indeed._


	36. Too Many Skrulls: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 36: Too Many Skrulls- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

**

* * *

**

**The skies above Los Angeles-**

The A-Wing tore through the skies above Los Angeles. The Quinjet was in the process of being fixed, so the six members of the West Coast Avengers had to use the reserve craft to travel to the trouble spot. Said trouble spot was the site of a brawl between the Super Skrull and Paibok the Power Skrull.

'This might not be the time to say this, but Bobbi and I have a big favour to ask of you, Greer.' Hawkeye said as the A-Wing's autopilot took care of the flying.

'Sure, Clint.' Tigra nodded. 'I'd only be happy to do whatever it is you and Bobbi want.'

'We want you to lead the team.' Mockingbird explained.

'_What?!' _Tigra spluttered in surprise. 'Why? What's going on? Is everything okay?'

'Don't worry. Everything's fine.' Hawkeye reassured his teammate. 'Bobbi and I are thinking of taking some time off. Y'know, to get reacquainted with each other. We want you to lead the team while we're away.'

'You were one of the original West Coast Avengers, so we thought it would only be appropriate for you to take over for a while.' Bobbi added.

'Wow. I don't know what to say.' Tigra blinked. 'I'm honoured and everything, but are you sure I'm the right choice to lead? What about Pietro? He's been a member of the Avengers longer than I have.'

'I kinda doubt Pietro has the patience to lead.' Hawkeye pointed out. 'I didn't ask Walker because I wanted to leave somebody in charge that the team would actually respect and take orders from.'

'Well, I guess I don't have any choice but to accept.' Tigra smiled. 'I'll make you proud.'

'We have to take care of the two brawling aliens down below first.' Mockingbird reminded the feline Avenger. 'We can all tell you how awesome you'd be as a leader later, okay?'

'I ain't complaining.' Greer grinned widely.

* * *

**Down at street level-**

The A-Wing came in to land amongst piles of burning rubble. The sextet of Avengers looked about in amazement at the destruction Paibok and the Super Skrull had wrought.

'Look at all this destruction.' Tigra gaped as she and her teammates looked around. 'It looks like you assembled us just in time, Vizh.'

'Why would the Skrulls be fighting each other on Earth?' Beta Ray Bill enquired. 'As a race, they have no love for this planet, correct?'

'That is correct, Beta Ray Bill.' Vision confirmed. 'It seems that every alien race has their sights set on Earth.'

'Yeah, we're the galaxy's bitch alright.' Hawkeye sniffed as he knelt down to examine some wreckage. 'We'd better get going and see if any civilians got trapped in the crossfire.'

'My sensors do not detect any civilians nearby.' The Vision stated. 'I believe they have fled to find shelter.'

'Wise choice.' Jocasta nodded. 'Who'd want to get stuck between two brawling aliens?'

'It looks like we're the about to get stuck in-between those brawling aliens.' Mockingbird stated as she followed the rest of the team in search of the two errant aliens.

It didn't take the Avengers very long to find Paibok and the Power Skrull. It wasn't as if their trail was hard to follow. The team of heroes ducked behind some rubble to survey the two brawling Skrulls.

'You will pay for this impudence, Paibok!' The Super Skrull yelled as he launched a blast of flame at the former Power Skrull. 'I shall burn you to a cinder!'

'You have no business intruding, Super Skrull!' Paibok retorted as he dove out of the way and unleashed a blast of electricity back at his opponent..

'How are we going to stop this?' Tigra whispered to her teammates. 'I'm all for stopping the bad guys, but just charging in there without a plan is asking for a firebal lor a lightning bolt up up the butt.'

'Ol' Hawkeye's got just the thing.' The heroic archer grinned as he nocked an arrow into his bow. 'Watch and learn.'

Hawkeye let the arrow fly towards the Super Skrull. The tip of the arrow opened up in mid-air and released a net that fell down upon the Super Skrull.

'What trickery is this?!' The Super Skrull growled as he struggled to free himself. He would have been free if it wasn't for the several thousand volts that shot through his body.

_**ZZRAAAKT!!**_

'Heh. The electro-net never gets old.' Hawkeye smirked as he and the other Avengers headed towards the two Skrulls.

'Our quarrel isn't with you, Avengers.' Paibok glowered. 'Leave us be.'

'You made it our business when you chose Earth as your battleground, Skrull.' Beta Ray Bill stated. 'Stand down or face our might.'

'Very well.' Paibok ceded. 'I'll stand down just as long as _he_ does.'

'Well, what do you say?' Bill asked the Super Skrull. 'Will you stand down also?'

'It's not like I have any choice in the matter.' The Super Skrull growled.

'Why were you two fighting anyway?' Jocasta asked. 'I know you were never the best of friends, but why cause all this fuss?'

'It is not your business to know, robot.' The Super Skrull retorted.

'Better watch that mouth.' Mockingbird told the captive shape shifter. 'Or we'll be forced to get nasty.'

'Well, what's all this about?' Tigra asked. 'Why come to L.A. and start causing trouble?'

'This slime dishonoured my family name.' The Super Skrull sneered.

'Your family name _has _no honour!' Paibok snapped angrily.

The Super Skrull hissed something in his native language and lunged at Paibok only to have more jolts of electricity course through his body.

_**ZZRAAAKT!!**_

'Better control that temper of yours, Greeny.' Hawkeye warned the alien shapeshifter. 'Why not let your buddy explain everything, okay?'

'He is no friend of mine.' The Super Skrull sniffed.

'Please, continue.' The Vision beckoned.

'I engaged in a relationship with his daughter.' Paibok admitted. 'And I might have made her pregnant.'

'As if it wasn't bad enough that you sullied my daughter's honour, you fled the planet once you found out the news!' The Super Skrull glowered.

'It was _**her**_ idea that I flee!' Paibok shot back. 'Jazinda knew that you would react this way.'

'Is that what al this fuss is about?' Tigra scoffed. 'A stupid little family dispute?'

'I wouldn't expect you to understand, human.' The Super Skrull sniffed.

'Don't you people ever just talk things over?' Mockingbird sighed. 'Why did you have to come to L.A. and cause all this trouble?'

'I came to this city in order to find a suitable engagement gift.' Paibok explained. 'This city of yours has such wondrous gems. This simpleton followed me to Earth and started attacking me like a coward!'

Hawkeye let out an exasperated groan.

'Oh, geez. This is starting to turn into an episode of _Jerry Springer _or something.'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Nabbed by the Marauders**

_The Marauders plan an attack on Avengers Complex, but what do they want with Quicksilver? Could the attack have anything to do with a similar incident with the East Coast Avengers and the Acolytes?_


	37. Nabbed by the Marauders: Part 1

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 37: Nabbed by the Marauders- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

* * *

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Avengers Complex-**

It was morning at the home of the West Coast branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes, and Tigra was about to begin he morning briefing. Hawkeye had left her in charge while he and Mockingbird took a leave of absence to spend some time together. Tigra intended to prove that Hawkeye had chosen his choice of replacement well.

'Good morning, everybody.' The feline Avenger grinned as she lay down her mug of coffee with her tuna sandwich on the table in front of her. 'Now, first of all…'

'Greer, is this _really_ necessary?' USAgent yawned. 'I mean, I'm all for getting up bright and early to begin fighting the good fight, but do we have to do it _now?'_

'Hey, Clint appointed me to be the leader of the team and I intend to take my job seriously.' Tigra explained. 'Now, if everybody's finished…? Good, I'll continue.' The tiger-woman turned to a monitor screen where images of various other heroes were being displayed. 'It has come to my attention recently that this team is seriously under-powered. No offence to you Bill and you Vision, but we still lack heavy hitters. How are we supposed to survive when we have to fight the East Coast Avengers? You know it's only a matter of time before one of our enemies tries to control them into attacking us.'

'That's nonsense.' Quicksilver scoffed. 'How likely is that to happen?'

'How many times has one team of Avengers been mind controlled into attacking another, Pietro?' Crystal asked her husband. 'Greer makes a good, if a little paranoid, point.'

'Okay then, if it's not mind-controlled allies, then what about a heavy-hitting villain like Galactus or Loki?' Tigra suggested. 'The East Coast Avengers have people like Thor, She-Hulk, Wonder Man and Ms. Marvel on the team. All we have is Beta Ray Bill and the Vision.'

'Not that I mean to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm not exactly a pushover, you know.' Madelyne Pryor piped up. 'What about Crystal? She controls the elements.'

'No offence guys, but we need more than that.' Tigra continued. 'I've drawn up a list of possible new team members. I wanted to get your opinions before we start recruiting.'

'Well, what are you waiting for?' Ant-Man asked.' Who have you got in mind?'

'At the top of my list is Prince Namor.' Tigra explained. 'It might be kind of difficult to recruit him, though. He's not exactly on the best of terms with the surface world. That's why I want you to go talk to him, Walker.'

'Why me?' USAgent blinked in confusion. 'Steve Rogers is the only one Namor's ever treated with the tiniest bit of respect.'

'I'm sure you'll think of something.' Tigra responded. 'Next on my list is Doctor Strange. We need a magic user to counter the Scarlet Witch if needs be. Who better than the Sorcerer Supreme?'

'Would the fair doctor not be too busy with whichever cosmic menace threatens the Earth?' Beta Ray Bill enquired. 'Even the Sorcerer Supreme cannot be in two places at once.'

'Okay, I've got a back-up magic user just in case.' Tigra explained. 'Sersi of the Eternals.'

'Sersi of the What-Now?' Spider-Woman blinked.

'Sersi is a member of the race known as the Eternals, a species diverted from humanity via Celestial experimentation.' Jocasta explained. 'She is rumoured to be over five thousand years old. She entered legend in 1300 BC when she encountered the Greek hero Odysseus, where she turned his crew into pigs. She has often interacted with humans in the past, most notably visiting Rome during the reign of Nero, and in Camelot where she…'

'She also has prior history with the Avengers, having been a member of the East Coast team.' Tigra said, cutting short Jocasta's explanation.

'What about that Genis guy?' Spider-Woman remembered 'You know, the son of Captain Mar-Vell.'

'Genis-Vell has had a history of mental instability.' The Vision explained. 'It would not be wise to have a teammate whose sanity we cannot rely on.'

'Then that's my shortlist so far.' Tigra said. 'I'll let you all know once I find more possible recruits.'

The briefing was cut short as alarms began to blare all through the complex.

_**BREE-BREE-BREE!**_

'What on earth?!' Quicksilver yelped as he jumped to his feet. 'Are we under attack?'

The silver-haired speedster soon got his answer as the whole complex was shaken by a series of tremors.

_**KRABOOM!**_

'It looks like our recruitment drive will have to wait.' Tigra nodded as she too got to her feet. 'Just when I thought my first day as team leader was going to be a quiet one.'

* * *

**Outside-**

'Come out, come out wherever you are!' The super-strong Marauder known as Arclight called as she pounded the ground with her fists. 'Come out to play!'

**_KRABOOM!_**

'You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you?' Scalphunter noticed.

'Hey, you gotta enjoy your work.' Arclight shrugged with a grin. 'It's a pity I can't bring the while building down. Well, not yet at least.'

'That's right.' Scalphunter nodded. 'We've got our orders. We want the speedster unharmed. After that we can have our fun.'

'These losers're gonna be pushovers!' Blockbuster grinned as he cracked his knuckles. 'They ain't got nobody strong enough to beat me!'

Blockbuster was soon proven that he should choose his words more wisely as an enchanted hammer flew through the air and hit him right in the face.

_**SKRANG!**_

'Famous last words, villain!' Beta Ray Bill crowed as he and the other West Coast Avengers charged out of the complex to face the villains. 'You will not the Avengers so easy to defeat…'

The orange-skinned alien's boasts were soon cut short as a wave of dizziness swept over him. 'What trickery is this?'

'Not boasting so much when you can barely stand, are you?' The Marauder known as Vertigo laughed.

'Well, the heroes are all here.' Scalphunter grinned as he loaded a gun. 'What do you say we play a little game? A little game I like to call... Death to the Avengers!'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Nabbed by the Marauders**

_The West Coast Avengers vs. The Marauders. 'Nuff said!_


	38. Nabbed by the Marauders: Part 2

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 38: Nabbed by the Marauders- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Avengers Complex-**

Tigra's first day as leader of the West Coast Avengers had gotten off to a bad start. The band of mutant hunters known as the Marauders had attacked their home.

'I'm giving you psychos one chance to give yourselves up quietly.' Tigra told the villains. 'Otherwise things might get nasty.'

'Heh. Get a load of the kitty-cat.' Scalphunter laughed. 'She thinks she's a badass. We're the Marauders, honey. We don't scare easy.'

'I was hoping you'd say that.' USAgent grinned. '_Avengers assemble!_'

The team of heroes charged forwards to defend their home. Beta Ray Bill was the first one to reach his quarry, the gargantuan Marauder known as Blockbuster.

'I had heard that Thor had slain you, fiend.' Beta Ray Bill told the villain. **(1) **'It seems that you Marauders are like all the other villains. You are too brainless to stay dead.'

'Hey, what can I say?' Blockbuster grinned evilly. 'It takes a whole more than a fruity god to take out somebody like the Marauders.'

'Then I shall succeed where the Thunder God has apparently failed.' Bill said as he swung his hammer. 'Prepare to be slain once more, monster!'

Beta Ray Bill took off into the air, grabbing Blockbuster by the collar as he went.

'Hey! What the hell are you doing?' Blockbuster yelped in fear. 'Let me go!'

'Are you hard of hearing as well as low on intelligence?' Beta Ray Bill retorted. 'I intend to make sure that you _remain_ slain this time!'

Once the pair had reached a suitable height, Beta Ray Bill let go of his quarry, sending him plummeting back down to earth.

_**BADOOM!**_

Blockbuster crashed back down to the ground a short distance away from Avengers Complex. The force of the Marauder's impact created a massive crater in the sidewalk.

Unfortunately, a fall from a great height made little effect to Blockbuster. The colossal mutant-killer stumbled from the crater and dusted himself off.

'Heh. That all you got?' The villain laughed. Then he noticed the sound of the wind whistling behind him. Blockbuster turned around and his face fell once he saw what was coming his way. Beta Ray Bill was flying towards him at full-speed, his enchanted hammer leading the way.

'Not again…'

_**CRUNCH!**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Back at Avengers Complex-**

While Beta Ray Bill was tangling with his opponent, the rest of the West Coast Avenger had to contend with the remaining Marauders. Madelyne Pryor was facing off against the gun-toting Marauder known as Scalphunter.

'It's been a long time, Red.' Scalphunter grinned as he opened fire on the redheaded woman. 'Y'know, you shoulda become a Marauder. You got a real annoying habit of coming back from the dead.'

'You bastards had put me through hell.' Madelyne snarled as she defended herself with a telekinetic bubble. 'You took my son and left me for dead.' **(2)**

'All in a day's work, honey.' Scalphunter shrugged as he reloaded his weapon. 'Nothin' personal.'

'Oh, this is completely personal.' Madelyne retorted as she spun Scalphunter around so he was aiming where his fellow Marauder Prism was battling Tigra. The crystalline mutant paused when he noticed his teammate was taking aim at him.

'Hey Scalp, we're on the same team, remember?' Prism tried to bargain with his teammate, but it was no good. Madelyne had Scalphunter under her control.

_**BLAM!**_

Prism shattered into tiny pieces as Scalphunter's weapon discharged of its own accord.

_**SPANG!**_

USAgent dealt with the stunned Scalphunter with a shield upside his head, allowing Madelyne to deal with the rest of the Marauders. She set her sights upon Riptide, who was trying to deal with Spider-Woman.

'Hey Riptide, time to have a taste of your own medicine!' Madelyne yelled at the spinning Marauder as she used her telekinesis to lift the razor-sharp remains of Prism up into the air. Riptide barely had time to turn around before the shards of his late teammate were upon him.

_**SHRAK! SHRAK! SHRAK!**_

Elsewhere, Jocasta was dealing with Scrambler. The former Bride of Ultron had to be especially careful with her opponent as his powers enabled him to disrupt the operation of any system he touched, be they the human nervous system or mechanical systems. Jocasta didn't plan on letting herself be forcibly shut down.

'You're a slippery little tinker toy, aren't you?' Scrambler sneered as he tried to get a clear shot at the robotic Avenger. 'If you quit dancing around, I promise I'll make it quick.'

'I'm not doing this for my own amusement.' Jocasta stated. 'I'm only doing this to manoeuvre you into a suitable position for my teammate.'

'What're you talking about, you overgrown refrigerator?' The Korean mutant blinked in confusion.

The Vision materialised behind Scrambler, half-solidifying his arm through the Marauder's back. The sociopath mutant screamed in pain.

'I feel it prudent that I should apologize.' The synthezoid Avenger stated as Scrambler fell down to the ground unconscious. 'Then again, you were trying to kill us. You do not deserve an apology.'

Unfortunately for the Marauders, the West Coast Avengers were much more difficult opponents than then first seemed. The Marauders were trained to take on the X-Men, not the Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

'Arclight, let's end this!' Harpoon yelled to his teammate.

'You got no complaints from me.' Arclight responded as she slammed her hands onto the ground, sending a tremor that sent the heroes stumbling. 'Let's rab the prize and get out of here!'

Quicksilver was the first back up to his feet, but was soon smacked back down with the butt of Scalphunter's gun.

_**CRACK!**_

'Pietro, no!' Crystal yelled out as she tried to leap to her husband's defence, but it was too late. The Marauders disappeared in a flash of light, Quicksilver with them.

'Agon's genes, no!' Crystal cried as she pounded her fists on the ground. 'Those monsters have my husband!'

'We'll get after them, don't you worry.' Tigra reassured her friend. 'There's no force on earth that would stop us from tracking those bastards down and saving Pietro.' The Vision put a hand to his temple.

'Tigra, I have an incoming message from Iron Man.' The Vision stated. 'I believe it is important…'

The Vision's inbuilt holographic emitters projected the image of Iron Man in front of the team.

'Hmph. Wonder what Shellhead wants.' USAgent snorted.

'I wish I could say that I'm calling to give you my best wishes, but I'm afraid that isn't the case.' Iron Man stated solemnly. 'Wanda was kidnapped by Magneto's Acolytes and we're on the way to Genosha to get her back. There's reports that something similar happened with the X-Men as well. Please tell me that everybody's safe back at your end.'

'I'm afraid not, Tony.' Tigra shook her head sadly. 'We were ambushed by the Marauders. They took Pietro.'

'Dammit.' Iron Man hissed under his breath. 'Something big must be going down if three teams were attacked simultaneously.'

'What are we doing standing around for?' Crystal snapped. 'Those monsters have my husband!'

'We'll meet you in Genosha, Tony.' Tigra told the Golden Avenger. 'Those monsters are going to pay for what they did!'

'Over and out.' Iron Man responded as he cut communications. Tigra then turned to talk to the rest of the team.

'Crystal, Madelyne, Bill, Vision, you're all with me to Genosha.' Tigra commanded her teammates. 'USAgent, you're in charge until we get back.'

Usually there would be no end of complaints from the Avengers upon finding out that USAgent was being left in charge. The man just seemed to rub people the wrong way, but now was not the time to make any complaints. Any personal problems the team had with USAgent would have to wait, a fellow Avenger was in the clutches of villains and nothing would stop them from getting their teammate back!

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: While Tigra's Away**

_While Tigra's team of Avengers are off rescuing Quicksilver, the remaining members of the team set about recruiting some heavy hitters._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Thor did indeed slay Blockbuster in _Thor 374.

**(2)- **_The Marauder's attacked Madelyne Pryor, taking her son and leaving her for dead in _Uncanny X-Men 206.

_As for the adventures of Tigra's team in Genosha, check out upcoming chapters of _'Uncanny New X-Men'.


	39. While Tigra's Away

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 39: While Tigra's Away**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

* * *

**Avengers Complex, Malibu-**

It had been an hour or so since Tigra had departed for Genosha with her team. USAgent had since gathered the remaining West Coast Avengers in the Quinjet bay as he gave them their orders.

'I'm heading to Atlantis to talk to Namor.' The former Captain America told the team. 'Spider-Woman and Jocasta, you're going to Los Angeles to find this Sersi woman.'

'Don't we get a choice in the matter?' Spider-Woman enquired.

'Tigra left me in charge while she's gone, so what I say goes.' USAgent told the heroine. 'You got a problem with that?'

'I guess not.' Spider-Woman sighed as USAgent continued with his mission briefing.

'That just leaves you, Ant-Man. It's your job to stay here and look after the place.'

'So you're going to leave me here to look after a bunch of super-powered teenagers all on my own?' Ant-Man asked.

'You're not going to be alone, Lang.' USAgent reminded his teammate. 'You've got the giant dog to keep you company.'

'Woof!' Lockjaw barked happily, wagging his stumpy little tail.

'If everybody's clear, then let's get a move on.' USAgent said. 'Avengers Assemble, already!'

* * *

**Prince Namor's Throne room, Atlantis-**

USAgent had headed to Atlantis to seek an audience with its ruler, Prince Namor. Namor had served with the Avengers before, so USAgent was hoping that he was willing to rejoin.

'Why should I even entertain the notion of joining the Avengers again?' Namor enquired as he glowered down at his guest from his throne. 'Especially when the one that requests my presence is a pale imitation of a good friend?'

USAgent bit back his anger. It wouldn't do his cause any good if he let Namor push his buttons. For all he knew, throwing a punch at the Atlantean Prince might have even caused an international incident. The Avengers had enough problems without a hoard of angry Atlanteans invading the Surface World. Namor was a stubborn man, but he could be played just as well as any man from the surface world. Prince Namor was as vain as any man on the Surface World.

'Your majesty, I know that I am but one mere surface dweller, but I beseech you to join the West Coast Avengers.' USAgent began. 'The team would be honoured to have your strength amongst its ranks.'

'Your transparent attempts at flattery amuse me, John Walker.' Namor chuckled slightly. 'I may rejoin the Avengers. I do find running my kingdom quite boring. Then again, I may not join you on the surface. You will get my answer soon enough.' The Atlantean prince dismissed USAgent with a wave of his hand. 'Begone now before I forget now merciful I am.'

USAgent sighed heavily as he was marched out of Namor's throne room. He hoped the other's were having more luck than he.

* * *

**Los Angeles, meanwhile-**

Spider-Woman and Jocasta looked up at the enormous glass building in front of them.

'Are you sure this is the right address?' Spider-Woman asked her cybernetic teammate. 'This is where Sersi's living right now?'

'Sersi is extremely long-lived and as such has owned many such dwellings during her time amongst the mortals.' Jocasta explained. 'This is the most likely place that she will be staying. Sersi enjoys living with the rich and famous whether they are Roman senators, medieval rulers, or more modern movie stars. Sersi prefers to live where the parties are, and where better to find a party than Los Angeles?'

'Great, so we're going to meet a drunken immortal.' Spider-Woman rolled her eyes. 'I can see this is going to be a lot of fun.'

The two Avengers entered the building and headed up to the penthouse suite where they believed the Eternal known as Sersi to be staying. They stopped outside the door and Spider-Woman raised her hand to knock when the door opened and a rather handsome man clad in nothing but a pair of tight white underpants stumbled out.

'But beloved, it was but one night…' The man begged as he looked back into the apartment. His answer was his remaining clothes thrown into his face.

'You're handsome, Andre, but a woman needs more than a studly body to keep her warm at night.' Sersi told her boy-toy. Then she noticed her guests. 'Oh, hello. I don't believe we've met. Spider-Woman and… Jocasta, is it?'

'You know our names?' Spider-Woman blinked in confusion.

'Darling, please.' Sersi scoffed. 'Of course I know who you are. I always make sure to keep watching for news of my friends in the Avengers. Come on in, I think I still have some wine left from last night.' The Eternal sorceress beckoned the two Avengers inside and closed the door, leaving the handsome Andre alone in the hallway.

'No wine, thanks.' Spider-Woman turned down the offer. 'Not while we're on official Avengers business.'

'What about you, Shiny?' Sersi asked.

'I do not require food or drink to survive.' Jocasta responded. 'Alcohol does not affect me either, and as such I cannot gain pleasure from imbibing it.'

'Your poor thing.' Sersi tutted sadly as she patted the former bride of Ultron on the back. 'Don't worry, a night out with Auntie Sersi will soon set you straight.'

Sersi headed into the kitchen and began rifling through the cupboards for something to drink.

'Let me guess, you're here to ask me to rejoin the Avengers.' Sersi surmised, her head poking into a nearby cupboard in search of alcohol. 'It's about time you people got around to asking me that. I guess you got bored of having parties without me, hmm?'

'So, you'll join us?' Spider-Woman asked.

'Of course, darling.' Sersi grinned happily. 'Just give me a second to find something to drink. I hate to begin the day without a dozen martinis or so.'

* * *

**Avengers Complex, meanwhile-**

Back at the home of the West Coast Avengers, Scott Lang sat idly in the monitor room. It was his job to keep an eye on things while the rest of the Avengers were busy. Scott leaned back in his seat to get a look at Lockjaw. Crystal's loyal dog was snoring on the floor.

'The kids tired you out already huh, buddy?' Scott smiled at the slumbering pooch as he sat back in his seat. 'Man, I know I shouldn't say this so soon after the Marauders attacked us, but I wish something would happen.'

'Tempting fate a little bit, aren't you, Dad?'

'Gah!' Scott let out a yelp of surprise and tumbled backwards off his chair, waking Lockjaw in the process. '_Cassie!_'

Cassandra Lang, Scott's daughter, also known as the young heroine Stature, giggled at the sight of her father crumpled on the floor.

'Oh gosh, you should have seen your face, Mr Lang.' Luna Maximoff laughed. 'I wish I had a camera.'

'You girls shouldn't have surprised me like that.' Scott admonished the two young heroines as he picked himself up off the floor. 'Especially after all the Marauders put us through.'

'I hope my daddy's okay.' Luna sighed sadly. 'I wish I could be there to kick the asses of whoever took him.'

'I'm sure Crystal will do enough ass-kicking for everybody.' Cassie reassured her friend. The young heroine then noticed something moving on one of the monitors. 'Hey, it looks like something's moving outside.'

'Dammit! It's got to be another attack!' Scott hissed as he threw on his insect-controlling helmet and shrunk down to ant-size. 'You girls stay here, okay? I'll deal with the intruder.'

Scott leapt onto the back of an ant and flew outside the home of the West Coast branch of the World's Mightiest Heroes. There was a rather large figure standing outside the front gate wearing a trench coat and fedora concealing their face. Scott recognised the figure instantly.

'_You!_'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Ever-Loving Blue-Eyed Avenger**

_Who could it be at the front door? Yeah, the title pretty much gives it away, doesn't it. It's the Thing, okay? But what does Momma Grimm's Little Boy want with the West Coast Avengers? Tune in next time to find out!_


	40. Ever Loving Blue Eyed Avenger

**Uncanny West Coast Avengers**

**Chapter 40: Ever-Loving Blue-Eyed Avenger**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

* * *

**Disclaimer-** _All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics._

* * *

**Avengers Complex-**

The mysterious visitor to Avengers Complex was now sitting in the kitchen with Ant-Man, the Avenger that had been on monitor when the visitor had arrived. The stranger had proved to be not-so mysterious when Ant-Man recognised him as soon as he had stepped out of the complex to welcome him. The visitor was none other than Ben Grimm, the Ever-Loving Blue-Eyed Thing of the Fantastic Four. The Thing had taken a leave of absence from the Fantastic Four to go travelling.

'I figgered I'd come visit my ol' buddy Hawkeye.' Ben explained. 'Where is Barton anyways?'

'You didn't know?' Ant-Man asked. 'Clint's taken a leave of absence too. He's spending some time catching up with Bobbi.'

'Wait... Mockingbird Bobbi?' Ben blinked in confusion. 'Wasn't she...?'

'Yeah, she was dead.' Ant-Man confirmed. 'Now she's alive. I don't think she ever explained how she came back.'

'Death never seems to stick in our line o' business.' Ben sniffed. 'I guess I made a wasted journey.'

'Hey, there's no need to leave now.' Ant-Man responded. 'Why don't you stick around for a while? The West Coast Avengers are looking for some heavy hitters. They don't come more heavy-hitting than the Ever-Loving Blue-Eyed Thing, y'know.'

'I didn't come here to join yer team, Scotty.' Ben shook his head as he stood up to leave. Ant-Man stood up and took Ben by the arm, sitting him back down.

'Come on, just for a couple of days?' Ant-Man asked. 'We've got waffles and beer.' Ben thought about that for a moment. Eventually, a smile spread across his orange rocky face.

'I never could say no to waffles and beer.'

* * *

**Later-**

It didn't take the rest of the remaining Avengers to arrived from their missions. USAgent arrived empty-handed, Namor had elected to stay behind in Atlantis for the moment and would follow along shortly. Jocasta and Spider-Woman were much more fortunate however. The Eternal known as Sersi had chosen to accompany them back to Avengers Complex.

'Hmm, not too shabby.' Sersi sniffed as she looked around at her surroundings. 'This is one of Tony Stark's old places isn't it?'

'This is only one of Tony Stark's many homes in the United States.' Jocasta confirmed. 'He has an apartment in San Francisco, a villa in Miami...'

'I don't think Sersi came here to hear about Stark's property choices.' Spider-Woman cut off her teammate. 'Hey, where's Scott? He was supposed to be on monitor duty.'

'Just like an ex-con to shirk his duties.' USAgent grumbled to himself.

'Oh cut it out, Walker.' Spider-Woman sighed. 'Or do we have to bring up your history as the Red Skull's pawn?'

'What about your history as an agent of HYDRA?' USAgent countered. Spider-Woman opened her mouth to make a comeback, but Sersi cut her off.

'Well, I can see I'm going to like it here.' The Eternal chuckled. 'I always find inter-team bickering most entertaining. Say, where can a girl get a martini? All this travelling has made me thirsty.'

'You imbibed a martini before we departed Los Angeles.' Jocasta reminded the Eternal.

'So, I want another one.' Sersi shrugged. 'Don't tell me that Stark's banned alcohol in all his places.'

'What Stark doesn't know won't hurt him.' USAgent said. That raised a cheeky smile from Sersi.

'Oh what's this? Our little Star-Spangled hero disobeying orders? Captain America will be ever so cross.'

'I am detecting an approaching aircraft.' Jocasta announced. 'Tigra and the others have arrived from Genosha with Quicksilver. I suggest we make haste, the Quinjet will be landing momentarily.'

* * *

**Quinjet Hanger Bay-**

USAgent and the rest of the Avengers watched as the Quinjet containing the victorious Avengers made a landing in the hanger bay. Luna Maximoff was the first to greet the arriving heroes. She ran up to her father and enveloped him in a great big hug.

'Daddy! Are you okay? Those jerks didn't hurt you did they?'

'Luna, I'm fine.' Quicksilver said as he brushed off his daughter. 'Please, stop fussing over me.'

'Pietro, your daughter's concerned about you.' Crystal admonished her husband. Quicksilver gave his daughter's hand a comforting squeeze.

'I'm sorry, Luna.' The silver-haired speedster apologised. 'Being kidnapped has put me in quite an unpleasant mood.'

'Like you've got any other sort of mood.' USAgent smirked.

'I'm too tired to thrash you for that insult, Walker.' Quicksilver glowered at his teammate. 'Perhaps Beta Ray Bill would like to do it instead.'

'There has been too much fighting today.' Beat Ray Bill shook his head. 'I too seek rest.'

'In that case, the debriefing can wait.' Tigra told her team. 'Put your feet up and meet in the war room in the morning.'

The Avengers split up and went about their separate ways. Tigra walked up beside Sersi.

'Sorry we couldn't put on a welcome party. It's been all go ever since Hawkeye left me in charge.' Tigra explained to the new arrival. 'First we were attacked by the Marauders, then it turned out it was only a distraction so they could kidnap Pietro so we had to go all the way to Genosha to rescue him...'

'You don't have to explain anything to me, kitten.' Sersi said as he gave the feline mutant a pat on the back. 'But it does sound like you need a good night out.'

'What, don't I get a welcome or anythin'?' The Thing piped up.

'Sorry Ben, but I'm exhausted.' Tigra sighed tiredly. 'I just want to curl up in my bed for a week.'

'If what I've heard about Sersi is true, then you'll need your energy.' Madelyne Pryor said. 'God, Malibu isn't going to know what hit it...'

* * *

**The next morning-**

After a good night's sleep, Tigra summoned the rest of the West Coast Avengers for their morning briefing. The feline heroine was holding court with her usual milky coffee and tuna toast.

'I'm sorry to call you at such an early hour.' Tigra apologised. 'But we have a lot to get through. Pietro, Crystal, do you guys want to get started.'

'Very well.' Pietro nodded as he stood up from his seat. 'I have discussed this with my wife, and we agreed that after the unfortunate business with the Acolytes it would be best if we look some time off. Crystal has been badgering me to take a holiday for a while now.'

'We've decided to take a trip to Transia, where Pietro was born.' Crystal confirmed. 'Then we're going to travel to the Blue Area of the Moon to visit my family, the Inhumans.'

'I'm afraid that I'm going to call it quits too.' Ant-Man added. 'I've accepted an offer of a job working for Project Pegasus.'

'Well, I'm glad that we traipsed all around the country looking for new recruits so that you bunch can just up and walk away.' USAgent grumbled. Sersi gave the tetchy former Captain America a pat on the shoulder.

'Oh, you poor thing.' The Eternal teased. 'You are ever so grumpy. Perhaps some time with Auntie Sersi will mellow you out.' USAgent pushed the flirtatious woman away.

'Lady, I don't know where you've been.' Sersi simply rolled her eyes at that.

'Well, that's just rude.' She tutted. 'In my younger years I would have turned you into a pig for that, but I believe the Avengers frown on that sort of thing nowadays.'

'I have an idea…' Madelyne Pryor piped up. 'Seeing that you're all leaving, why don't we throw a going away party? Sersi was looking for an excuse for a night out, right?'

'Well, it's about time too.' Sersi replied. 'I was starting to think you people didn't know how to party!'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: A Night Out With Sersi**

_A night out with Sersi couldn't possibly be as rowdy as her reputation suggests... could it? The West Coast Avengers are about to find out._


End file.
